Conversation with Mr K.

got to experience one mind and no mind on mushrooms
Was cool to experience and see the difference between those insights and anatta
Wow nice
I revisited the impersonality and intense i amness/god realization states on mushroom in 2015

[clarification: when studying overseas. I have not tripped for years]
You replied to Mr. K
I got to experience one mind and no mind on mushrooms
Just?
Yeah it seemed to pique with a total absorption state
How was it like?
And whats the dosage
1:29 PM
Was very oceanic. I noted that “Universe is nexus of self-appearing consciousness” and “Undulating waves” and “Sounds as perturbations in nexus”
Was just 2.5 grams
I remember wanting to tell my friend and the universe laughed as if that is even possible, because it was all just self-appearing consciousness
But it was like an experience
Wasn’t insight into dharma seal like anātman
But I could see how people could mistake that for awakening
Or definitive anatta type awakening I mean
Does that sound no mind’ish ? I just figured it was something like that
2:13 PM
Sounds like. One mind is like overarching consciousness that is like the field in which all manifestations occur, like body and thoughts is not consciousness but in consciousness. But consciousness was seen as unchanging due to wrong view. In no mind, even the overarching consciousness is forgotten and the sensations colors sounds etc are the consciousness, but merely as a temporary experience not an insight. The view can still be based on inherent/unchanging mirror and reflections, sky and clouds. Anatta is the realization of the absence of a background or agent or unchanging consciousness and consciousness being mere name for the vivid self luminous manifestation.. as always the case.
However as john tan said there is a deep state of equipoise with anatta insight that seems like one mind but is not
http://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2018/10/the-unbound-field-of-awareness.html
The Unbounded Field of Awareness
awakeningtoreality.com
Is your experience like that?
3:04 PM
It was no mind during the trip
7:59 PM
John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:39am UTC+10 jax must also know that the non-dual experience does not lost but become natural, spontaneous and the intensity of luminosity heightened. Anatta is to eliminate the trace to have total and vivid experience, not to hinder it. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:41am UTC+10 there will come a time where awareness is like standing out and the clarity becomes unsurpassed it expanse without boundaries. This is very important. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:42am UTC+10 That is the transparency of awareness expanse way beyond ... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:43am UTC+10 This radiance can only arise in total effortlessness and spontaneity... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:44am UTC+10 just like substantialist non-dual in perfection Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:46am UTC+10 what do u mean just like substantialist non-dual in perfection John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:46am UTC+10 it is very difficult to explain John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:47am UTC+10 in a mind body drop...there is no boundary..just pure sound, sensations... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:48am UTC+10 rem the last post i wrote and u told me it is just like non-dual awareness? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:49am UTC+10 u closed ur eyes and u said u experienced like substantialist non-dual awareness? Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:50am UTC+10 u mean then i fell asleep woke up etc? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:50am UTC+10 no John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:51am UTC+10 i told u to contemplate about the 2 fold emptiness and i said emptiness has another meaning for me...then i wrote for u ...u said u followed and feel like being a substantial non-dual awareness? Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:51am UTC+10 yeah Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:52am UTC+10 then i told u i experience the void awareness Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:52am UTC+10 like snap out of the thought into the void awareness Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:52am UTC+10 then fell asleep but woke up due to sinking back to a mirror John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:52am UTC+10 yeah John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:52am UTC+10 there is nothing wrong with it... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:54am UTC+10 there is a very intense and much deeper state i assure u...but there is clear understanding that the manifestation is it....however awareness is like an unbounded and limitless expanse field John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:54am UTC+10 the luminosity is intensely clear Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:55am UTC+10 so its like boundless but as manifestation Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:55am UTC+10 and vivid John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:55am UTC+10 not exactly John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:56am UTC+10 the experience is like Non-Dual Awareness broke lose and exist as a unbounded FIELD John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:57am UTC+10 there is a difference in seeing sound and a hearer and realizing sound as awareness itself John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:57am UTC+10 i think i have told u before John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:58am UTC+10 Awareness is like standing out Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:58am UTC+10 i see.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:58am UTC+10 u cannot focus and there cannot be any sense of effort John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:58am UTC+10 there cannot be any sense of boundaries Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:59am UTC+10 does focusing spoil the experience? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:59am UTC+10 just itself John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:59am UTC+10 yes it spoil the experience John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:59am UTC+10 u must be very very stable and mature in the anatta state John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:59am UTC+10 just like what i wrote in our blog Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 1:59am UTC+10 oic.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:00am UTC+10 maybe taking lsd ppl experience that...lol Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:00am UTC+10 haha... Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:01am UTC+10 did i tell u what the dj X experienced after ayahuasca? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:01am UTC+10 nope...who is dj X? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:02am UTC+10 and u cannot be in an enclosed room... Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:02am UTC+10 X, dj X.. he's the 11th most famous dj in the world and got half a million fans in his facebook page lol. he is doing self inquiry and converses with me Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:02am UTC+10 oic, u cant experience that in enlosed room? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:02am UTC+10 ic Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:04am UTC+10 he told me: Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:04am UTC+10 I had a guy, a professional, who guided me.. We sat and he guided me with a short meditation. After that, he asked me to drink the glass. He asked me to ask the plant to be kind and to thank her, which I did. The adrenaline was rushing through my body and I took a little moment with the glass in my hands and then took it. The taste was disgusting. Bitter, sour, I don't know. haha. Then, he guided me in a chakra meditation. He asked me to close my eyes and pointed that it would be good to keep my eyes closed as much as possible during the journey. So then we started, from the lowest chakra upwards. When we came to the heart chakra, I think almost half an hour after drinking, I noticed that it started. The blackness with my eyes closed started to get perspective and colors. It started to come to life. Very quickly then, it became very very intense, like being launched into a tunnel through space. With colors coming at me at an enormous speed. I also felt somewhat sick at that moment. The voice of the guy guiding me sounded like it was pitched down and vanished a bit to the background. From sitting in lotus position, I lied down on the bed, on my back. He continued with the meditation but I was completely taken by the experience and a bit uncomfortable. When he finished I asked him if he had an advice, how to get through this. He said: "Why? You don't need to do anything, just let it go.. Let it go." He turned on the music, I decided at that moment to completely let go and then the whole experience exploded into a beautiful journey. At that moment peace fell over me and the music started guiding me. There was almost no notion of the body already, everything was completely taking place on a screen, taking up the whole experience. I first was confronted with memories of my childhood, it showed me the moments that I felt lonely and not loved. All the love that lacked when I was a child, was cured and filled up at that moment. I started crying out of happiness. Crying so much, but tears of joy. Also the notion of time was getting less and less. It is very hard to say what happened when or how long it lasted. The music was essential in the experience. Music has got a whole new meaning. I have no words for how beautiful it was. Like it was telling the truth of the whole universe, without words, just resonating on a different level. Then for a moment, I felt like I was everything, the whole universe. I saw the night sky and there was absolutely no feeling of being a human being. It was grande. I felt energy rushing through the third eye, winding up, winding up and then releasing and exploding, receiving light. Bright light, with diamond-like reflections. Then another chakra in my belly started winding up and released, exploded and receiving bright light. So intense and full of love. Then all that exploded into full being-ness. An endless ocean of love. Ultimate happiness. This must have been the happiest moment of my life. There were no events at that moment. Just light and being and unconditional love. This was the climax of the experience. But it was not over yet. After that a whole story began which was being witnessed. For a moment I was experiencing being my father, my mother, my uncle, and going through a certain situation in their life. I also for a moment was a gorilla and a lion. Sometimes I remembered my question. "Who am I"? So I asked it, but when I asked it I got the answer: "Who wants to know?" I realized very well that the one that wants to know is that one that creates the suffering. That is the one that can't accept not knowing and always wants more. I felt that that was not me. At that moment I felt like a little chid who was constantly overruled by his big brother. But the plant was inviting the little child to come out to play and was unveiling the big brother's agenda. Every time I asked the question the plant corrected me and got a little bit upset for a moment. Then I realized who was asking and I surrendered again. I felt guided throughout the experience. Guided by the plant? A higher power? I don't know. Something was smiling at me. Letting me know that it was ok to let go. I also remember having died. I was lowered into a coffin with grey hair and my hands crossed on my chest. It was a very peaceful experience. Also I remember some moments from my birth, difficult moment. I felt that the plant was helping to resolve traumas. Sometimes I felt that it was focusing on the physical body. It would for example lift a leg, start shaking it very rapid and then released it. And later the other leg. Then an arm, the other arm. It was releasing energy. The my right eye would started tearing very much. Later on my left eye, and so on. Sometimes it would focus and a certain spot in the body where there was a stress spot. It would focus on it until the stress was released. And there would be no pain at that spot anymore. Sometimes the body started gaping very loud too. When the effects started to wear off, which was a slow process, I sometimes came back into the physical world for a moment and then got pushed back into it. But when my first thoughts came up, one of the first things that came up was a complete utter respect for this body. I was/am so thankful to the body for having gone through all those years of suffering and treating it badly with bad eating, smoking, drugs, alcohol etc. Also this experience which was intense for the physical body. I thanked it deeply for it and at that moment decided that I was going to treat the body like a temple. Treat it with complete respect. This was definitely the most profound experience of my life. The sense of self was gone mostly throughout the experience. After the experience it came back, but I feel like it has released a lot of negative energy and I have felt unconditional love like this for the first time. I will definitely do it again in the future as I truly think it can be of help on the path. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:04am UTC+10 it is difficult to experience in an enclosed room unless u r in deep samadhi Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:04am UTC+10 oic.. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:05am UTC+10 is deep samadhi necessary or helpful Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:05am UTC+10 for this experience? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:05am UTC+10 not exactly, it is the effortlessness and crystal clear transparency and intensity of luminosity... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:08am UTC+10 but duality must no more trouble the practitioner, phenomena is clearly understood as the radiance...so nothing is obscuring then in total effortless and emanation arises and the expanse just continues Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:10am UTC+10 ic.. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:10am UTC+10 should i tell this to jax? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:13am UTC+10 i m thinking how to tell him...since he just broke through...a person in such a state is difficult to turn back That is why i wrote in the post and said "it is empty"....and ask what does that emptiness mean Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:14am UTC+10 turn back to ? Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:14am UTC+10 substantial one mind? Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:15am UTC+10 but u're not asking him to turn back to one mind view right, just refining the anatta experience in certain way John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:15am UTC+10 from substantial non-dual awareness John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:16am UTC+10 it is different..if the intensity of experience is that strong John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:16am UTC+10 it is not easy to lead one with such intensity of experience with mere intellectual exchange John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:17am UTC+10 but i doubt without right view and anatta, one can reach that state Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:17am UTC+10 u mean that awareness field state? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:18am UTC+10 yes...in experience it is like that Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:18am UTC+10 but u said its similar to substantial one mind right Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:18am UTC+10 so one mind people also experience it or not? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:18am UTC+10 u don't get what i mean John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:19am UTC+10 one mind is subsuming John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:19am UTC+10 therefore there is a sense of dual John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:19am UTC+10 in this case there isn't Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:20am UTC+10 oic.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:22am UTC+10 it is like a drop of water landed on the surface of a clear ocean. the nature of water and ocean are one and the same...nothing containing anything John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:24am UTC+10 when sounds and music arise...they are like water and waves in ocean...everything is it John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:25am UTC+10 when the intensity is amplified many folds, it will not be easy for a practitioner to overcome. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:26am UTC+10 overcome? Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:26am UTC+10 so its like Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:26am UTC+10 one oceanic happening-awareness Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:27am UTC+10 ? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:32am UTC+10 hm...was reading what u send me about X's ayahuasca. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:32am UTC+10 The intensity of experience is there. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:34am UTC+10 yes oceanic happening-awareness Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:34am UTC+10 oic.. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:34am UTC+10 so is wilhem experience like what u said? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:35am UTC+10 mine is very much under controlled...lol...the intensity is there John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:36am UTC+10 it is a very natural and effortless state John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:36am UTC+10 his is like out of control...lol Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:36am UTC+10 lol.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:39am UTC+10 when the mind is so confused about the background and the phenomena, such intense experience will not arise unless probably with the help of such drug Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:39am UTC+10 oic.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:41am UTC+10 but one is purified of the deep dualistic/inherent tendencies, the experience will surface and become a natural and effortless state. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:42am UTC+10 ic.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:42am UTC+10 there must not be any sense of twoness...just what is...and it must be completely effortless...spontaneous arising... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:44am UTC+10 therefore u must spend quality hours in such non-dual mode in walking, seeing, tasting...no effort but fully just this dimensionless suchness as appearance John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:44am UTC+10 now u r having too much thoughts Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:46am UTC+10 oic.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:50am UTC+10 I have told u in the post commenting the rainbow body: Now penetration of the 3 states is only supported by the strength of your view and realization, not by the intensity of your non-conceptual experience.

[Soh: Referring to this - Rainbow Body and Thusness's Advice to Me] Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:52am UTC+10 ic.. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:53am UTC+10 btw u said focus will spoil the experience Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:53am UTC+10 that means it can only be experienced in a meditative setting? Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:53am UTC+10 cos daily life requires focus to do task isnt it Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:53am UTC+10 like right now dont u need some focus to see, type etc John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:55am UTC+10 no John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:56am UTC+10 there is no need for meditative setting...it is the result of the dissolution of deeply held tendencies. But u r not allowing the conditions to manifest John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:58am UTC+10 all will simply arise spontaneously ....it is u must be out and have quality experience on scenery, music, scent...etc...have a not so enclose and cooling environment... Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 2:59am UTC+10 yah just now i was walking outside awareness/experience is expansive and boundless but not sure if its like what u said John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:00am UTC+10 one way to help is to emanate out Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:00am UTC+10 what u mean by emanate out John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:01am UTC+10 means awareness kept expanding... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:02am UTC+10 just keep practicing expanding...open, emanate Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:03am UTC+10 yes.. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:03am UTC+10 even in dream i experience that Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:03am UTC+10 then it becomes transparent and expansive and nondual Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:03am UTC+10 few days ago i also experience it John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:04am UTC+10 don't focus on the intensity of luminosity, but expand to dissolve the center, the core...keep expanding...the intensity of luminosity will naturally be there....not to focus on luminosity Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:04am UTC+10 its strange i dont know if what i experience is sleep paralysis... its just dark and i keep expanding until i feel like floaty Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:04am UTC+10 but later woke up Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:04am UTC+10 but theres this strange feeling like i'm going to fall off the bed or something, i think hallucination John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:04am UTC+10 yes in waking state is also needed Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:05am UTC+10 in waking state when walking outside its quite easy Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:05am UTC+10 like u said John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:06am UTC+10 at hm when u meditate...listen to music....musics that relates to the sound nature Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:07am UTC+10 oic.. John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:10am UTC+10 anyway don't chase after experiences...sever the center. The purpose is to tell jax it is a refinement of his view so that he can perfect his non-dual state. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:10am UTC+10 oic.. Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:10am UTC+10 u tell him ah, i dunno how to tell him :P John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:13am UTC+10 yes when the time is right.... John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:13am UTC+10 lol Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:13am UTC+10 lol John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:15am UTC+10 din has undergone so much confusion that now the refuge is in the Awareness...lol Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:16am UTC+10 lol Soh Wei YuSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:16am UTC+10 its like what u said regarding fear of establishing view? John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:19am UTC+10 yes but because
John TanSunday, April 28, 2013 at 3:19am UTC+10 yes but because what that led him out of confusion is the understanding that all these are mind stories, so that becomes his outlet but it is also the condition that prevents his further seeking.
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