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Rick Indie


This might seem like a mundane question, but i've been wondering Soh Wei Yu ; ever since your awakening, how has your emotional relationships with people changed?

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9Sam Balali, Joel Rosenblum and 7 others

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Soh Wei Yu

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People have commented that I am chill and cheerful/happy, that I don’t have a temper and they don’t see me angry and so on.

Basically I am happier and more peaceful. While normally people may often get frustrated, angry, not calm, when facing more challenging situations.

Also I don’t want to comment about my private life but I like how this Actualist describe his relationship with others after breaking through self. You become happier because you genuinely are happy throughout the day. How you relate therefore doesn’t come from a dark place.

“RESPONDENT: Dear Vineeto and Richard,

I have just posted up a report on Slack [actualist discussion group] and Yahoo Groups. I have been actually free since Nov 3rd 2018 and wanted to write you both and thank you for did for ‘me’ over the years that eventually allowed me to escape my fate and fulfil my destiny. Or perhaps I should say appreciate all you have done since there is no feeling of indebtedness anymore 🙂 […]

It is so deliciously amazing being here now. It is totally unimaginable and unbelievable as Richard has correctly said. It is quite freaky sometimes how giganormously vast this universe is such that it takes my breath away. I get intimations of infinitude and I am sure the definitive experience of it is on the horizon. I feel like my brain has been ‘uncapped’ and the magnificent universe – as oppose to ‘self’ and ‘other’ is my preoccupation. My body and mind are sometimes suffused with pleasure and expansiveness such that it is too much and I have to back away! I’ve been having a whale of a time just living my life for the last month or so. I’ve been having a fantastic time also comparing notes with Geoffrey and No 9(AF). The relationship with my girlfriend is like night and day. I’m like this big happy kid, that wants for her happiness. There is a delicious intimacy. Prior to this I was a grudging boyfriend, who often tolerated her and occasionally felt guilty enough to try and make a romantic gesture.

I would love to hear more about being fully free. But for now I am content to just enjoy and enjoy some more. The utter safety, spaciousness and stillness I am experiencing is truly something remarkable.

Yours actually 😉”



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Rick Indie

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this is beautiful

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Soh Wei Yu

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But why focus on me? You should ask others here. Lots of people realised anatta here


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Rick Indie

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Soh Wei Yu im not usually on fakebook often, so i havent had a chance to really see who else realized anatta. youre the main one i know & i see whenever im on, but i definitely dont deny there are other people here who have


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Rick Indie

I hope others can comment more 🙂 from their insights and experience


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James Wolanyk

Rick Indie if I may chime in, as Soh said.. 🙂 My wife has remarked that I seem much more open, loving, cheerful, and optimistic. I no longer see the behavior of "others" as something that can upset me, as the web of interconnection removes the illusion that "I" am at the mercy of "them." Basically, more unified, grounded, and always at rest with reality as it unfolds.



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Rick Indie

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James Wolanyk thats amazing. so i see you mentioned your wife, how has your love for her changed? has it amplified at all? if you dont mind me asking


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James Wolanyk

Rick Indie Hi Rick, sorry, just saw this - when I first was dating my wife and going through the earlier stages, I was very conflicted and not sure what to do with sexual desire or attraction on a romantic level. I thought I had to choose spirituality or love. Nowadays they've blended into a relative expression of the Absolute - romantic love is just one optional part of a much larger context of socializing, being helpful to others, and co-creating a reality that is better for all sentient beings 🙂 If you have specifics, please ask or message me, I don't mind!



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Ryan Burton

Rick Indie The earlier phases of awakening were characterized by disembodiment due to witnessing and self-enquiry… the sense of not feeling human because of the collapse of the identification processes. It was actually Anatta that brought the emotional centers back online. I didn’t feel much for a very long time, but after Anatta there’s the sense of being more human than ever before but without the sense of a me attached to it. Quite interesting and very impactful. Emotions are ornaments of the natural state and there’s certainly much more now than in years past.


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Rick Indie

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Ryan Burton interesting, i guess because the earlier phases still have obscurations, so there mightve been attachment to feeling "dull"/disassociated/separate from everything, but im guessing anatta is the collapse of that separation, so you didnt feel a need to separate yourself from any feeling after anatta. does that sound about right?


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Ryan Burton

Rick Indie didn’t feel the need to separate even before Anatta, but the difference was that afterwards I couldn’t experience duality even when I tried. Couldn’t undo the collapse.


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Ryan Burton

Rick Indie the dissociation always happened after the non-dual openings. So after “I Am” realization there was this oscillation between the experience of “I am Everything” and the sense of being a “me.”

It was always on the contraction phase of that cycle when the sense of “me” would return that the dissociation would arise.


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Ryan Burton

Rick Indie Sometimes those openings would last days and the contraction would follow for days or weeks and then another opening. This expansion-contraction cycle lasted 3 years or so. In the contraction phase of each cycle— difficulties would come to the forefront like feeling dissociated, apathy, negligent etc.


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Rick Indie

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Ryan Burton also, you mentioned disembodiment. did you stop feeling bodily sensations? or did you "ascend" past the sensations while they were still there in space?

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Ryan Burton

Rick Indie body sensations would only vanish in meditation but that didn’t happen very often. Not sure what you mean by ascend past them? Could you clarify that?


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Rick Indie

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Ryan Burton i prob couldve worded that better, but its like this: so you know how the average person(pre-anatta & pre-"I Am") feels like they're "trapped" in a body? as if the body is the ultimate boundary for them? so for you, when i say ascend past it, i mean did your mind "extend" past feeling like your body was the ultimate boundary? could you feel sensations, but did those sensations feel like they were only a drop inside a bigger ocean?

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Rick Indie

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Soh Wei Yu James Wolanyk Ryan Burton the reason i keep asking about love is because im subconsciously afraid of losing emotion if i do reach a certain level of [de]realization. i dont want to lose compassion, and i dont want to be stuck in a state of emotionlessness for even a day. what was the most helpful realization that allowed emotions to flourish in anatta? whats the main realization that cut away depersonalization? i really appreciate the help



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Yin Ling

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Rick Indie

U won’t.

If u really have proper Anatta realization, not just at intellect level. the sense of self will be released, it is palpable, and then U will have a sense like things and ppl around u “feels u”, not literally, but u will find out. The strong sense that you feel “I am me here” now, will miraculously be subdued so much that it’s hard to pretend I’m just this body.

The contraction in the middle here will subdued over time, and each time they become less, the “I am this body” feeling drops even more. It’s slightly strange to “not feel much here” at first but not uncomfortable, it feels spacious, like a relief.

U won’t lose compassion at all. U will probably have more. Now u lost the boundaries between u and others, and the compassion will sometimes feels almost too powerful, it brings u out to help beings. U can ignore being compassionate and still do harm .. I’m not sure but for me i think the guilt will be nerve wrecking. I have a Buddhist background, I don’t think I can stand my own judgement against myself if I do stupid stuff to others.

Imo, a practitioner will have gone through quite abit of studying, willingly being selfless, metta, generosity to see that insight.

It is quite hard for a very self centered person to want to release this energy in the middle because it is counterintuitive at first until it becomes natural after a lot a lot of practise. In some degree the compassion helps the insight to deepen.



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Rick Indie

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Yin Ling wow...this was the confirmation i needed. my vipashyana was being held back by my fear, but now, i feel i wont hold back anymore. (& as far as compassion, i'll never ignore it. i naturally always had compassion for people. and after seeing what buddhas can do, its almost like i was "born" for buddhism, specifically vajrayana. my whole mission for becoming a buddha is to help people)


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Yin Ling

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Rick Indie yeah u will be a perfect fit for the boddhisatva path becusse the whole path is to buddhahood which is to help sentient beings, nothing else


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Rick Indie

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Yin Ling also, in reference to feeling spacious, would you say the primordial nature of mind feels like infinite space?

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Yin Ling

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Rick Indie yup, one don’t feel like “living in the body” anymore, which is a small space.

U live spaciously, as the “beingness” is limitless and every where 🙂

It’s wonderful, really. Like being let out of a mri machine , phew


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Rick Indie

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Yin Ling wow, this is really motivating. so, if my view is right, then our intrinsic awareness is always infinitely spacious like that, however, the skandhas flare up when we fixate too strongly on feeling like a "small self". and this gets worse when we fixate on identifying with the skandhas as our "self". basically, its like a matter of mind latching onto the closest thing it can relate to, despite already having an infinite nature. does that sound about right?

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Yin Ling

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Rick Indie yes absolutely right.

There’s two levels to it.

First it’s to know “who am I”( aka to know what is our “mind”) truly.

Then next step is to see this “minds” nature.

Just keep it at the back of your mind that this “awareness” is not apart from the skandhas, the phenomenas, and everything in the world. It’s in it. As it. The awareness is itself the skandhas.

Or else what u are worried about- the “derealization” and emotionless ness would be the problem if one separate out awareness as a separate thing. Coz now we would become “awareness”, “standing away” and looking at the world, and not the world, not participating, isolating ourselves and that is often the biggest worry along the path , ppl get stuck and think emotionless ness is the outcome.

In true Anatta, you become the world. You will notice soh will post a huge amount of stuff about this on his profile and also here, which is crucial for a wholesome realization 🙂

All the best on ur path. U r very sincere, I’m sure ur compassion will guide u always. Buddha be with you 🙂



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Soh Wei Yu

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Rick Indie

I spammed the 7 stages link and on anatta article to thousands of spiritual teachers and practitioners online and by email

Take me as an example of foolish compassion 😂 not to follow my example



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Yin Ling

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Soh Wei Yu I’m not sure though. Some ppl might be ready and it will resonate.

I heard once someone said actually the dhamma is self-concealed when asked why do some teachings are secret?

Bc if one is not ready to hear them they won’t.

One who is ready they will find it. I’m not sure haha


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Soh Wei Yu

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Yin Ling

Yes indeed some people resonate and some people already broke through to anatta from previous stage after talking to me

Thats why i continued spamming 😂


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Soh Wei Yu

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Yin Ling

https://www.integrateddaniel.info/the-eleventh-army-of-mara

The Eleventh Army of Mara — Integrated Daniel

INTEGRATEDDANIEL.INFO

The Eleventh Army of Mara — Integrated Daniel

The Eleventh Army of Mara — Integrated Daniel

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Yin Ling

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Soh Wei Yu agree with this article. Even worse when I want to explain my understanding but I don’t know how do I actually come to this understanding because somehow it just all clicks and come tgt…

And how do one even explain?


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Soh Wei Yu

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Yin Ling need patience, not a one day thing especially for someone dull like myself

Im so fortunate john tan had the patience to talk and talk for years with me and repeat the same stuff from many different angles

He is truly a bodhisattva with mastery of patience paramita



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Soh Wei Yu

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Yin Ling unfortunately i cant do that for others

Not as skillful nor have i the time

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Soh Wei Yu

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Yin Ling so i try to compile something, the books and journal for those interested

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Yin Ling

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Soh Wei Yu yes I agree. He also write long passages befitting my conditions to allow me to intuit. It is hard.

U too did a lot of work for others, don’t belittle urself !

Sometimes just doing our practice sincerely will help others. For years I never talk to my partner about the dhamma, coz for me it’s a personal thing and I don’t want to impose on others what I believe. I only answer when asked.

But I read and meditate around him and suddenly few weeks back he told me he started a meditation practice and read a Steve Hagen book.. 🥹


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Yin Ling

Yes i read on reddit just a day or two ago

Someone with a similar story

Non believer partner suddenly after many years got interested in meditation due to seeing changes in the partner


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Sam Balali

Yin Ling When I see someone is deeply transformed I feel ego backlash-usually anger or fear. It's as if the ego senses that this intense truth is the death of itself and so it protects itself with these reactions.

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James Wolanyk

Rick Indie Here is my experience as one guy who went from being a selfish early 20s kid to someone who now feels "stable" on the path - you never lose anything. You give up selfishness, deception, anger, lust, etc, and in return, you gain a sense of connection, ease, joy, honesty, basic goodness, and integrity. The fear around anatta and anicca is really born from the delusion of selfhood, which is constantly trying to scare you away from opening your heart to your own nature - the peaceful, open dharmadatu will always embrace you and lend strength for improving the lives of other beings in every possible domain, from the occupational to the social to the psychological ❤️ In short, you become what the world needs, and you share in its love and creativity.


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James Wolanyk

Rick Indie btw, if you are interested in bodhisattva topics, you can click my name and find the post I made recently on integration - it may soothe your mind 🙂


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Joel Rosenblum

Rick Indie why so scared of losing emotions? When you're dead, would you also like to be born again to have more emotions?

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Rick Indie

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Soh Wei Yu haha you & me are the same, I always spam helpful articles. But atleast you're not like Virupa where Avalokitshvara Buddha literally had to come down & tell Virupa "hey, it's good you're converting people to dharma...but please stop freaking people out with your magic powers."



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Rick Indie

Tara once told me my wishes will be fulfilled (and it did) and that i should “focus on helping people”

I had a strong connection to avalokitesvara and tara and had many visions and miraculous encounters, unworldly fragrance etc



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Soh Wei Yu

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Rick Indie avalokitesvara told me to be compassionate



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Rick Indie

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Soh Wei Yu oh wow that's amazing. I want to meet them. But they probably only appear after someone achieves 1st bhumi, right? (or atleast until you achieve an exceptionally high level of metta if you're not awakened yet)

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Soh Wei Yu

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Rick Indie idk lol

I think people even before awakening can have visions of them

It does not necessarily indicate your level of enlightenment

But i think what john tan said here indicates his high degree of enlightenment:

“…It can be realized, known and experienced including the supramadane abilities of buddha and bodhisattvas, the sambhogakaya body and buddhafields to those that r serious in practice. They maybe myth to some but not myth to me, at least it can be verified by first person experiences (imo) regardless how science think and that are already enough for me to cope…”


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Soh Wei Yu

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Sambhogakaya only appears to those from 8th bhumi onwards from what I read


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Rick Indie

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Soh Wei Yu yes, I agree! Me & my family have predisposition to clairvoyance, I'm looking to perfect it after anatta (BTW, tell John thank you for recommending "Finding Rest in Illusion." That book is amazing)


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Yin Ling

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Joyful, spacious, light, very simple.

But I still get annoyed when ppl bullshit me lol but it doesn’t go deep.




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