Shared with John Tan some excerpts by Nancy Neithercut:
[0:16 am, 01/10/2021] Soh Wei Yu: She [Nancy Neithercut] has 9 books
[0:16 am, 01/10/2021] Soh Wei Yu: She says awakening has two parts.. self is illusion and physical world or objects is illusion
[0:18 am, 01/10/2021] Soh Wei Yu: "Most believe enlightenment is about becoming a non human. But no one exists as a non self! You exist only as an imaginary self in this passion play full of unfathomable sorrow and supreme joy. This is not about discovering you are a something separate from thought and feeling, something unchanging... It’s about discovering you are indeed nothing more or less than belief thought feeling.... a flowing thought dream.. A mental fabrication
The second part of awakening, is that all things are made up, not just selves… All this and that. When the self is known and felt to be imaginary, it’s not that there are simply tree tops blowing in the wind… Trees and wind, although referring to a physical world, are also made up. The story of all things and you is written from shared learned words by the brain. Without your magnificent objectifying brain the physical world is unknowable. It can occur that the brain no longer believes its own thought stream. The belief in separation falls away, and there is no more feeling of separation. Many call this oneness or unicity or wholeness
But it has no name
There are no its.
[0:21 am, 01/10/2021] Soh Wei Yu: No source, no ground of being:
[0:22 am, 01/10/2021] Soh Wei Yu: I don't know how belief in thought ends... it is not belief in thought only, it is the belief in belief that ceases in the brain... there is no one to attach or dis-attach... it feels like endless knots untying... like the strings that held the sun and moon and you into place dissolving... like the inside and outside of a bubble merging... pierced by love's arrows... the skin the teeth the eyes the blood the bone the marrow of your existence ripping apart... an unravelling of endless fairy tales about who you are and what the world is like... until there is not even nothing left no reference points whatsoever no things nor non things no goal to reach no path to tread no ground to land on no one to land... yet you remain a beautiful swirling iridescence colors sliding on the surface of a bubble dividing the universe into an imaginary inside and outside painting love and beauty into the dream. …knowing you are the dream makes it all the more wondrous
It seems that most spiritual seekers and teachers are the assumption that there is something to find. Some goal or place to arrive, like finding a true self or timeless awareness or pure consciousness, or god.
There is a mostly universal belief that there is something solid and unchanging. This path to god or wholeness or enlightenment is described, and often prescribed as giving up or letting go or accepting what is going on. Or surrendering... Often when the self is seen to be a made up story, the stark terrifying blankness of no self is filled in with ideas like a true unchanging self. Awareness or consciousness or love are comforting concepts to fill in that emptiness. It seems it is rarely recognized that there are no things whatsoever. I cannot say how this recognition arises.
Certainly I never did anything or nothing to make this happen! It obviously did not happen to me! This ultimate collapse of everything and nothing is not an achievement and cannot be contrived, as there never have been separate things or moments or events. This is merely seeing what has always been.
Life doing itself, looking and feeling like anything at all.
An unbelievable seamless flow, without edges, nothing confined, nothing to be fettered or set free. Although it felt like dying, it was realized that there was never anyone to die.
Time is felt to be illusion. It always feels like the first and last kiss. Such seamless beauty of no thingness, and all and everything spontaneously arising!
Continually blooming and wilting without space or time. Naturally perfect without perfection or imperfection, life and love flow through me as me, in this love ballet without a center or edge, or goal to reach, neither moving or non moving, without direction or non direction, without place or placeless-ness,
No words can grasp or kiss this knowing feeling that has no words, as all words seem to divide what cannot be split and has no sides, no time nor timelessness, no space nor dimension nor measurement. Enlightenment cannot be achieved by any method or path as it does not happen to the imaginary persona.
It cannot be learned or taught as it is not a belief or understanding. It cannot be transmitted, as it is not a thing.
I do not have this sublime emptiness and I cannot give it to you! It is not about letting thought and feeling flow, or going with the flow as there is no one to let thought and emotion flow.
There is only the flow, neither moving nor stable.
There are no things to be permanent or flowing. All effort-ing or trying to not effort perpetuate the painful illusion of separation.
Yet the beautiful illusion of self and thingness, of love and lover and beloved remain, as no one can exist as a non self! Simply the belief and feeling of separation has vanished. This is more wondrous than any dream come true.
I could never have wished for this, as it is quite simply unimaginable. I see seekers trying to get a goal that they imagine enlightenment to be, like realizing it is all a dream, not realizing that that would include them. Or trying to let thought and feeling flow, not realizing that thought and feeling and indeed life itself simply flows as it does, including trying to let it flow. I see seekers trying to accept what is going on, not realizing that this perpetuates the painful illusion of separation, not realizing that trying to accept it is not accepting it. Mostly I see seekers trying to get rid of themselves, and I weep, as the self is the most wondrous gem in the universe. Just as you are, right now, without any effort or non effort, you are beautiful beyond compare.
As conceptual beings our entire known world is composed of shared learned words beliefs and concepts All trying to rearrange them will not lead to the shift in which this entire mentally fabricated world of separate things and events is no longer believed, including the belief in a believer. All concepts are blown apart, all ideas of right and wrong, ideas of meaning and non-meaning, ideas of truth, or that there is anything, even a ground of being, which is unchanging. It’s is known always that there are no things to be changing or permanent.
Quite simply there is no true nature, because there is no one to have one. The search for something solid and stable and fixed is based on the fear of our own non existence. There are many teachers who will say they have found this thing called true nature or source or God, but it is just another concept or philosophy to fill-in the huge emptiness that the seeker knows is the case, but does not wish to discover. Staying with a teacher who recommends a method, the seeker is safe. No one knows what puts a chink in the wall, the armor of assumed knowing, but it is not about rearranging the perceived separate parts of knowing into another all inclusive concept called understanding.
Awakening is not something that someone gets, it does not happen to the person in fact it has nothing to do with you! Before the shift I never believed that there was a God or some force, intelligent or otherwise, that made life happen, it felt at times like I was doing life and at other times that life was happening to a me. Now it always feels that life is doing it self. After the belief in separation fell away, the feeling of separation vanished. It is known always, without a doubt or anyplace for it to arise, that there are no separate selves with personal volition who choose thought feeling belief or action. All selves, including me, are a swirling of flowing self referential thoughts and memories, holograms... illusion. All life spontaneously appears, all by itself.
The notion that there is a source of any kind (god or awareness or consciousness or even void or emptiness, as some seem to suggest) does not exist. Time is another illusion. Can you find the beginning and end to a moment? Are there separate moments? Are there separate events? What would mark the beginning of an event like my teacup falling on the floor and breaking? Would it be the dog’s tail pushing it off? Would it be the day I bought the teacup? Would it be the day I began to drink tea? Perhaps I could blame my mother for buying me a dog when I was a kid! As you can see there is no one source... I think the slipperiness of this is unsettling to most and so they love the idea that there is a mega cause or doer or god. Notice how this commentary paints the movie picture of a cup falling, floor, table and dog. All words seem to create these things. Anything said about the dream, every word I say in this letter about the dream of objectified separation paints the dream.
Decades ago when I read Dostoyevsky, I noticed that he believed that only fear of god’s retribution would create moral action. However, this never made sense to me. As a species we have survived because helping others, and forming community is a physical and psychological necessity as well as an evolutionary advantage, and is wired into our brains. Notice how a man will dive into a rushing river to save a stranger. I don’t think he thought about it first... ‘oh god will punish me if I don’t do this’. Here it is seen that all thought feeling and action, indeed all of life arises all by itself. Naturally. Some may use the word god instead of wholeness or oneness or unicity. There is no word to describe that which is not a that... as there are no that’s...
I would say there is no unifying thing or substance, no thing that glues all things together, as all thingness is mentally fabricated. There is not one big thing that can be split apart.
All edges, all separation is imaginary. The mind or thought stream seems to create all this and that, time and dimension, all separate events and causality. All measurement, all division is made up. When imaginary separation is believed in by the brain that creates it, then there is the feeling that there are separate things events and selves. The swirling thought stream appears to have a center that feels solid! When the intuition that there may not be anything solid or stable or fixed starts to arise the brain searches for something, for anything! For another concept like soul or consciousness or awareness or true self or god to fill in the looming emptiness.
When there is belief in the self, then there is also fear of death. Again looking for something solid that will not die, these concepts can be comforting beliefs. But all belief in imaginary things is never quite believed, and are accompanied by hope and fear. So the person seeks out those with similar beliefs, trying to ward off the fear. I would say that the physical world exists, yet has no inherent qualities, as all qualities many have of god, like perfection, are shared learned concepts arising in that thing you call your brain.
Man creates the laws of nature describing what he observes. Intelligence and orderliness are qualities that are beautiful description. Some say to me that life is energy and seem to believe that they have understood life. I say, ‘what is energy?’, and more description unfolds. Most mistake description for understanding. I would say there are no things that can be glued together into some kind of a place of rest or understanding, and no one to do so. Understanding is a misunderstanding. This beautiful immense intelligence many seem to recognize as the proof of god’s existence comes from your brain. You are the portal where love and beauty enter the universe. You are the light of the world.
Science is a lovely description of the physical world. But to say that nothing is random or accidental relies on the belief in separation, of things and events and time. I would not say that life happens as it is written, or as it it supposed to happen, I just say life happens just as it happens, of itself so. I do not reject science! Indeed I believe in evolution and enjoy the benefits of medicine. It is simply that all description is seen as simply that... description. I would say that there is no meaning or non meaning, no purpose or non purpose. Life does itself and all these qualities are templates, like good and bad, that are imposed on life, and are simply shared learned concepts.
I often hear the story that god split himself up so that he could find himself again. That seems like a nice fairytale, and horrible for seekers who are in a lot of pain when they feel that they are not fulfilling their, or god’s purpose! The seeker is the seeking, the grasping, the searching for an intuited wholeness which all ready is the case. All trying to grasp these concepts, even emptiness, perpetuates the painful feeling of separation, of a grasper and something to get We evolved as all creatures to seek food and procreation and conditions that will keep the organism and species alive, but humans are the only creatures to seek imaginary things like happiness and love. Feeling like a separate lonely individual feels wrong! For some this feeling is so painful, after trying physical means to fill that emptiness they fear, they turn to religion and spirituality. For that looming feeling of emptiness is the intuition that there is no solidity, no handholds, that all reference points are imaginary. This, brought to the forefront could make a person mad. Yet it is so! As an imaginary persona you are alone.
And ultimately, knowing all thingness is made up, knowing you exist as this swirling thought dream which allows the awareness of aliveness, the awareness of being aware, you are sublimely alone. When there is the belief in separation, it makes perfect sense that if there is thought, there is a thinker. If there is feeling, there must be a feeler. When there is action, there must be an actor. And if this magnificence of life... there must be a conductor, purpose and meaning. There is nothing wrong or right with these beliefs. Indeed there is no right or wrong way to feel or think or live or love or die. All of life happens all by itself, looking and feeling like anything at all. As humans we get to feel the entire range of human emotion. Unutterable joy and heart wrenching sorrow and despair. There is not something inside of us which feels so deeply.
It is us. I am the loving of you, Nancy
[0:25 am, 01/10/2021] John Tan: [Quoting the para starting with: Most believe enlightenment is about becoming a non human.....]
[Soh: texts quoted from her book: https://www.amazon.com/there-something-inside-which-deeply-ebook/dp/B07SFJRQ76/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&qid=1633014377&refinements=p_27%3ANancy+Neithercut&s=books&sr=1-2
there is not something inside of us which loves so deeply ...it is us]
Labels: Anatta, Emptiness, Nancy Neithercut
Still a subtle reification of the physical world as real.
"When imaginary separation is believed in by the brain that creates it, then there is the feeling that there are separate things events and selves. The swirling thought stream appears to have a center that feels solid! When the intuition that there may not be anything solid or stable or fixed starts to arise the brain searches for something, for anything!
The emphasis and use of the word "brain" here sounds off to me.
Soh Wei Yu replied:
Unlike the Actual Freedom teachings, brains are also merely conventional for her.
"As long as you feel separate you will try to not feel separate, and all trying or trying to not try will perpetuate the painful illusion of and feeling of being separate.
there is no thing or non thing which you ‘truly are’, under or having thought.
No body no brain no thought no you.
The belief that there is something beyond thought is the belief in other better more and next. Beyond mind or thought there is no you. There is no beyond mind. As beyond is thought."
"the seasons coming and going, the spell of memory, of thought, seems to paint leaves falling and spin the tale of an unchanging
you or awareness or consciousness or love...
but all things are thought created, even thought is a made up thing.
brain, consciousness, awareness… are mentally fabricated.
brain, like sky and mountains and trees refers to the assumed physical world which we can never actually know, as we are also made up.
however, this story is also made up. there is no escape from the tale that spins us, these words that enchant us, as we are the enchantment....
there is no looking for a 'big' story that nails down the dream, wonder requires no architect... and it is all indeed wondrous, this atemporal thought dream ...galaxies, universes spinning.... this spiraling dream of separation that paints light and dark and colors... and trees and mountains and brains…..
we are imagined ... and this is unimaginable. yet it can be 'known' somehow and felt that there are no things nor selves, no moon or sky or mountains.... simply seamless beauty.... soaring in love as love through love"