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Soh Wei Yu
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When
background is empty, foreground is empty, twofold empty, there is no
fixation on the fabricated image of luminosity as inherently 'here' or
'there'. Then there is no insomnia.
“(2:17
PM) Thusness: with the condition of a body, manifest along with the
condition of a body. just like the 'eye' can only 'see' certain range,
let it be. Not to strain the eyes for what it is not. but in each experience, discern with clarity the luminous presence.”
The
straining and efforting in fact becomes an unconscious habit. It is not
so much that you consciously "efforts" into grasping at a background or
foreground, you can't help it. To use a poor analogy, a house cat
always returns to its home at night even if free to roam around the
city. Because of ignorance that projects inherent existence, one has a
very strong identity of a "home base" as a "background", this
"background" is just a conjured image, a fabricated image of a moment of
nondual luminosity that is reified in a dualistic and inherent way, it
is not the true nature of that luminosity. By sheer habit the mind
always returns back to this conjured image of a "home base" like the
cat, unknowingly and habitually. This referencing back to a background
becomes a momentum of its own until it goes so deep into the sleep, even
if you fall asleep you suddenly snap out of the dream state or thought
back to a witnessing background by your own karmic momentum, and this
wakes you up because you cannot 'be' the sleep non-dually (and as
Thusness said, deep sleep is a natural nondual samadhi, a precious
state). That was my experience during the I AM. Luckily the problem
didn't develop very much and I proceeded into nondual and anatta not too
long later. Only insight into anatman can truly break through that
illusion of a background, and for some people even after the anatman
breakthrough it takes 1 or 2 years to stabilize (for me it merely took
months).
Likewise
if one experience intensity of luminosity in the foreground, actually
there is nothing wrong with that and this is a natural state after
anatta, but if there is even the slightest grasping or straining or
efforting, that is like not 'manifest along with the conditions', that
is not being fully aligned with the empty, spontaneous, ungraspable,
unlocatable, dream-like, reflections/mirage-like nature of
empty-presence-appearance. Everything becomes light and traceless
without subtle straining or grasping at what was never truly 'there'.
Wanting to experience more of what is empty, ephemeral and ungraspable
in any way is the problem. That is not being aligned with the empty
insubstantial nature of presence and dependent arising
In
short, all the problems arise when one over fixates on the luminosity
or focus on it more than its empty nature. Be it background I AM or
foreground PCE. The karmic momentum can be so strong as to cause serious
energy imbalances. So over focusing on the luminosity aspect rather
than realizing and actualizing fully the empty nature of
luminosity/presence is the root of many such problems. http://www.awakeningtoreality.com/.../putting-aside...
AWAKENINGTOREALITY.COM
Putting aside Presence, Penetrate Deeply into Two Fold Emptiness