I was reading an AtR blog post(1) about total exertion when something clicked for me.
Walking on the street, you look at the traffic and maneuver your way to reach your destination, the traffic and people walking are as much an inseparable part of the activity which you call 'your walking', each moment of walking is doing together action with all conditions.
Reading the phrase "your walking", made me realize that the reason total exertion hasn't been apparent is because of lingering attribution of activities as personal. There is nothing in this activity that draws a line between the movement of my feet and the pavement under them. Or between other bodies walking and this body walking in sync so they don't bump into each other. The whole thing is the walking, no way to separate any part of it from the rest.
I used to get stuck contemplating this, blocking beliefs would come up like: "There are many activities going on right now, and they are separate and distinct. My walking, your walking, bird chirping". Nope! There is just this activity, and it is all! We call it our walking and try to draw lines of separation around our activities, but in experience it is all there. None of it is personal or separate.
I've noticed at this phase in my practice, I get glimpses of how particular beliefs are shaping my experience in real time. This used to be something I would contemplate to understand where the cognitive distortions are, but now it shows up as an intuition and letting go happening on its own.
Just a quick sharing of some of my thoughts here in case it helps someone
AWAKENINGTOREALITY.COM
What is Total Exertion?
You, Yin Ling, Mr. TJ and 22 others
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  • Noah Starbuck
    Thanks for sharing this. I think I can relate.
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  • Yin Ling
    Admin
    Yes!
    Frank yang in his video used the word “being rendered” all at once.
    And each rendering / total manifestation is never alike each fraction of a second, constantly morphing, morphing and morphing ..😁
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    • Jayson MPaul
      Author
      Yin Ling This reminds me of something I read a long time ago before I really understood what all this awakening stuff was about. The quote loosely was "Just this moment, never again"
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  • Tan Jui Horng
    Admin
    Reality is like a big semi-dried blob of glue. You can't pick at any part without the whole blob coming along 😆
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  • Mr. DL
    Thats fantastic yes! I love my afternoon walks with the trees birds and flora. Walking meditation is so underrated.
    No distance between objects, no separation, go bigger! The entire cosmos is being rendered in that moment morphing from emptiness yet infinitely full of love. The infinite intelligence is awe inspiring - yet whom is there to be inspired?
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  • Tony Taylor
    Jayson MPaul. Thanks for sharing all your insights. You definitely have and continue to help me.
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  • Sudden Awakenings
    Yes, I totally relate to this. Sometimes I get lost in the Buddhist jargon of certain descriptions used in AtR, but when someone puts it into natural everyday language like this it makes perfect sense. Before reading this post I would not have said I experience total exertion, but now it’s obvious that I am. The blog post made me think I had to look for some exalted mystical state, but it’s really just so ordinary. ❤️
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