John Tan said "Yes very good. 👍"

    I was writing an email to my meditation teacher so wrote a journal to keep track of progress. Since i am so open about this, might as well share here for feedback 🙂
    Journal 24 April 2022
    Recently sitting formally 2 hours, to bring out a taste of continuous intense illusoriness and anatta.
    1 hour in the morning in the park
    Another 1 afternoon 1+ hour in a bubble tea shop/coffee shop.
    But tune in the illusoriness most of the day while driving/walking around/dining/typing on the comp, basically 70-80% of the awake time.
    Anatta don’t feel prominent anymore. It used to be the most obvious thing, now it is natural and melted into the whole scenery, nothing special. It feels so normal. Like I am born like that. Like nothing to shout home about. Like, experience is memang like that from time immemorial. The idea of a split is – I don’t know how, truly.
    It is somehow more about illusoriness now. This is more prominent.
    This 似有似无的感觉。
    很清楚,但很叮铃,剔透,很EPHEMEREAL, 很轻, 飘飘然的感觉。
    Sensations now become boundaryless. Wide spread. The music fills the whole place. The car sound fill the whole place, the scenery fill the whole place, my breath fill the whole place, and I do not quite know where’s where.
    Life becomes extremely spacious, light, so much more at ease, soft quiet joy at all times,
    And deeply peaceful. The peace is exceptionally prominent. I could sit without an ounce of restlessness for a long time.
    Whichever bubble tea shop I go, the energy will fill up the whole shop as oneness, not just in this body, like ordinary perception. My current perception is without a self anywhere, without any prominent energy anywhere, it’s all even. even though I have some pulsating energy in the head most of the time, it doesn’t hijack the presence of other sensations.
    and the shop is like a magical manifestation, sort of abit translucent yet vivid. And the ppl have the same energy as everything else.
    I can stay quietly like that for a long time, not putting in even a quantum amount of effort. Just complete rest. What is there to do if everything has been done.
    I recently train myself to open up as much as possible esp to ppl because of my introvert nature. they are also space like, empty of self-nature, and this has been easier and more integrated.
    Once, I try to change back to seeing solid, physical, fixed world, to see whether I can go back to previous experiencing, just to experiment, but I cannot, it feels like the mind can’t, not I don’t want to. Some neurons been severed I guess.
    It’s like once it is rewired one cannot go back, like anatta.
    It’s a one way street.
    Thoughts doesn’t disturb anymore like previously. I could reduce it if I want to, but if i don’t it’s still okay, bec it doesn’t cause much emotional upheaval. The mind understood the emptiness of it and couldn’t grasp much.
    Sleep dropped. I couldn’t sleep before 12+ and wake up by 6 or before. And feel alert all day with 2 session of exercises. And I don’t crave food much, unless super hungry. Lost some weight.
    That’s it. Will keep practicing. 😃
    feedback requested if you have any. thanks 🙂


    Yin Ling
    sorry for the malay and chinese language lol. I write for personal record so it's all over the place

    Yasmin El-Hakim
    Yin Ling thanks for sharing 🙏
    You write sleep dropped. Are you tired because of it or is there enough energy?

  • Yin Ling
    Yasmin El-Hakim mainly too alert

  • William Lim
    One question... "What bubble tea were you drinking?"

    Yin Ling
    William Lim less sugar one.
    Today I want to drink yoghurt . The caffeine in the tea gives me problem lol

  • William Lim
    Yin Ling this reminds me of a classic Zen story...
    A Zen nun walks into a Yami Yogurt store to order a yogurt.
    The cashier asks, "What toppings will you like with your delicious treat?"
    The nun pauses for a bit, and says...
    "Make me One with Everything"

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  • Yin Ling
    so good. that sounds like me. 😂😂

  • Soh Wei Yu
    Yin Ling caffeine triggers energy imbalance for you?

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    • Soh Wei Yu
      Yin Ling caffeine triggers energy imbalance for you?

    • Yin Ling
      Soh Wei Yu yea sensitive. I am not sure though. It will make me sleep less well.
      Last time at one point cannot drink at all, even tea.
      But I’m not sure if it’s the bubble tea caffeine lah so I choose some thing else for now lol

    • Soh Wei Yu
      I see. Caffeine can trigger very bad energy imbalance symptoms for me if I am already having imbalances.. I avoided for many months 3 years ago.
      I also stopped caffeine past weeks, but now I can drink coffee / tea. (this time the imbalance is sufficiently resolved rather quickly)

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    • Soh Wei Yu
      I was re reading these verses yesterday. Although scholars will tell you it is not by the same Nagarjuna as the one that wrote MMK (apparently there are many people called Nagarjuna), but still, no less profound 🙂
      38. When eye and form assume their right relation,
      Appearances appear without a blur.
      Since these neither arise nor cease,
      They are the dharmadhatu, though they are imagined to be otherwise.
      39. When sound and ear assume their right relation,
      A consciousness free of thought occurs.
      These three are in essence the dharmadhatu, free of other characteristics,
      But they become "hearing" when thought of conceptually.
      40. Dependent upon the nose and an odor, one smells.
      And as with the example of form there is neither arising nor cessation,
      But in dependence upon the nose-consciousness’s experience,
      The dharmadhatu is thought to be smell.
      41. The tongue’s nature is emptiness.
      The sphere of taste is voidness as well.
      These are in essence the dharmadhatu
      And are not the causes of the taste consciousness.
      42. The pure body’s essence,
      The characteristics of the object touched,
      The tactile consciousness free of conditions—
      These are called the dharmadhatu.
      43. The phenomena that appear to the mental consciousness, the chief of them all,
      Are conceptualized and then superimposed.
      When this activity is abandoned, phenomena’s lack of self-essence is known.
      Knowing this, meditate on the dharmadhatu.
      44. And so is all that is seen or heard or smelled,
      Tasted, touched, and imagined,
      When yogis [and yoginis]* understand these in this manner,
      All their wonderful qualities are brought to consummation.
      45. Perception’s doors in eyes and ears and nose,
      In tongue and body and the mental gate—
      All these six are utterly pure.
      These consciousnesses’ purity itself is suchness’ defining characteristic.
      In Praise of the Dharmadhatu and other comments
      In Praise of the Dharmadhatu and other comments
      In Praise of the Dharmadhatu and other comments

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      Yin Ling
      Soh Wei Yu thanks later I read

    • Yin Ling
      Soh Wei Yu just read, v profound and cannot be read intellectually actually lol only experientially
      Like heart sutra 无眼耳鼻舌身意,无声色香味触法,无眼界,无意识界

    • Soh Wei Yu
      Yeah not a form of intellectual analysis
      Same for longchenpa expositions on emptiness

    • Yin Ling
      Soh Wei Yu longchenpa which one?

    • Soh Wei Yu
      Dunno some texts i skimmed through before
      But i suppose some of his expositions on emptiness should be in the book you recommended on longchenpa

    • Yin Ling
      Soh Wei Yu oh yes the illusoriness one is very illusory lol

    • Sredharan Ramakrishna
      Many point to the moon, getting to the moon - no fast track manual! A recent tip from a meditation group i attend - its simpler than simple.

      Yin Ling
      Sredharan Ramakrishna it’s simple but the work is not simple haha

    • Sredharan Ramakrishna
      Yin Ling words simple helps to refocus mind when it chases complexity. Again its experiential so words tell half truths!

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