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Just a quick note to let everyone know that both the ATR Practice Guide and the Original ATR Guide have been updated.
Please check out the link below to access the latest versions.
The Awakening to Reality Practice Guide and The Original Awakening to Reality Guide
AWAKENING TO THE NATURAL STATE
by
JOHN WHEELER
From: Awakening to the Natural State; Chap.1 – Meeting ‘Sailor’ Bob Adamson
I had been on the spiritual path from my teenage years. For about thirty years I had been involved in various paths and practices, including Christianity, Theosophy, the teachings of J. Krishnamurti (I went to his talks in Ojai in the 1980s), Buddhism, Hinduism, and yoga. There were other paths and teachers also, too numerous to mention here. In my mid-twenties, I was introduced to Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj (through books on their lives and teachings). Something about those great Indian teachers of non-dual spirituality seemed solid and unshakable. I found myself returning to their teachings over the years, even though I can’t say I fully (or even partially) understood or experienced what they were talking about.
Along the way, I did the circuit of many of the contemporary teachers involved in non-dual spirituality. There was undoubtedly a benefit, but I was not fully satisfied for some reason. Either it was my confusion or something was not fully clear in the teachings being presented. Most likely the former! For some reason my destiny was to meet ‘Sailor’ Bob Adamson, one of Nisargadatta Maharaj’s Western students.
What I found was that there was only so much I could get from books and meditating on my own. The growth was there, but it was often slow, and I was not getting much direct experience. I vaguely felt that I was progressing, but if I honestly looked at my experience, I did not fully understand what the teachers were pointing to. Most importantly, my day-to-day life was not free of suffering. I knew the seeking was not over; something was missing. Had I not met Bob Adamson, the seeking might have gone on for decades, or at least until I met someone with a real understanding. Who knows who that might have been or when, but, barring that, I am pretty sure the seeking – and suffering – would have continued for a long time.
At one point, I met some Ramana Maharshi followers who had been on the path of self-inquiry for twenty or thirty years (and still working at it, I might add!). I was nowhere near their level of devotion, so it was pretty much out the picture that that approach would work for me. As I look at this now, it is not so much Ramana’s teaching that is at fault, but the mind’s inevitable tendency to turn any teaching into a practice. Practices, as I eventually learned, usually are interminable. This is because they are often based on false premises.
Intuitively, I felt that it was important for me to meet someone who had realized their true nature, someone whom I could trust, someone whom I could talk with in order to share my doubts and concerns. However, I was unsure which teachers were authentic; none seemed to resonate fully. I used to read Nisargadatta Maharaj’s dialogues frequently. I could not understand his teaching fully, given all the Hindu verbiage and translation issues (he originally spoke in Marathi), but I felt intuitively that he was a free being. Many spiritual seekers, through reading his words, can sense the genuineness of his realization, even if they do not always experience everything he talks about. I used to wonder if there was anyone still living who had met Nisargadatta Maharaj and had really got the experience of self-knowledge. After all those years of searching, I eventually stumbled across Bob Adamson. Something resonated strongly. Even when I read the pages on his website, there was a strong feeling of ‘maybe this is it’.
Just prior to discovering Bob Adamson, I had a vivid dream of Nisargadatta Maharaj, in which he was encouraging me not to give up the search for spiritual understanding. Shortly afterwards, I learned about Bob Adamson. Not wanting to miss the chance of meeting an authentic teacher (having missed the chance to see Nisargadatta Maharaj while he was alive), I decided to visit Bob in person in Australia. You can imagine my motivation (or perhaps desperation!) in going to Australia on the chance that he might be able to clarify my doubts and questions.
What I have found is that the understanding of our true nature almost never comes from reading books or thinking about it. The best books are primarily the records of dialogues that took place between a seeker and a teacher at some point in the past. In reading such books, we are trying to understand an experience that took place in the past (through words and concepts on the page). A book is like a map pointing to something real that was experienced in a dialogue between living people. Usually, we do not have a clear understanding of what is being revealed (at least I didn’t) and we are trying to figure it out in the mind. This is a noble attempt, but as Bob Adamson pointed out within a few minutes of talking to him, ‘The answer can never be found in the mind’. The experience of spiritual understanding and freedom is not forthcoming, so we naturally assume that we are not ‘there’ (wherever ‘there’ is). We think there must be some technique or path involved to get there. But somehow we are not quite sure what it is! The result is that the mind keeps generating the same old bondage and suffering. This is a frustrating cycle, because we intuitively feel a glimmer of light or truth in the readings, but the actual experience eludes us. The majority of seekers that I have met have had a similar experience. Many are driven to try to find a living teacher, in order to get some guidance and assistance on the spiritual path. This was what happened for me.
I met many teachers, but it wasn’t until I met Bob Adamson that I was convinced that I was dealing with someone who had fully realized his true nature. Something radically shifted for me because I came face-to-face with the vitality, the confidence, the energy of that understanding. It was a remarkable experience and quite different from anything I had encountered in my years of seeking. The first day after I arrived, we had a chance to meet and talk. As we sat together, he looked me in the eyes and said point blank, ‘Do you have any doubts or questions? Is there anything you need to know?’ It was somewhat disarming because I realized he was free of doubts and was essentially offering me a chance to have the same experience for myself right then and there. The implication, it seemed to me, was ‘The seeking is over, the reading is over. You are here. Are you ready to go for this completely here and now?’ Fortunately, I jumped at the chance. I cast aside my theoretical knowledge and got down to getting off my chest my real doubts, questions and problems.
Surprisingly, things cleared up very quickly. Being face-to-face with that clarity – coupled with my own desire to be free – allowed things to shift quickly. The basic teaching is very simple, almost too simple. It is so simple the mind overlooks it. What I didn’t realize was that it has nothing to do with reading, meditating, doing something, working something out, stilling the mind, and so on. All of the techniques are looking in the wrong direction. Nisargadatta Maharaj used to say, ‘Understanding is all’. In essence, Bob was saying, ‘Right now in your direct experience see what your real nature is. What are you right now? What have you always been?’ The thinking mind is useless for this because seeing or looking is not a conceptual function at all. It is more like seeing an apple in your hand. You just look, not think.
Right now, as you read this, you exist and you are aware that you exist. You are undoubtedly present and aware. Before the next thought arises, you are absolutely certain of the fact of your own being, your own awareness, your own presence. This awareness is what you are; it is what you always have been. All thoughts, perceptions, sensations and feelings appear within or upon that. This awareness does not move, change or shift at any time. It is always free and completely untouched. However, it is not a thing or an object that you can see or grasp. The mind, being simply thoughts arising in awareness, cannot grasp it or know it or even think about it. Yet, as Bob says, you cannot deny the fact of your own being. It is palpably obvious, and yet, from the time we were born, no one has pointed this out. Once it is pointed out it can be grasped or understood very quickly because it is just a matter of noticing, ‘Oh, that is what I am!’ It is a bright, luminous, empty, presence of awareness; it is absolutely radiant, yet without form; it is seemingly intangible, but the most solid fact in your existence; it is effortlessly here right now, forever untouched. Without taking a step, you have arrived; you are home. No practice can reveal this because practices are in time and in the mind. Practices aim at a result, but you (as presence-awareness) are here already, only you don’t recognize it till it is pointed out. Once seen, you can’t lose it, and you don’t have to practice to exist, to be. This is, in essence, what Bob pointed out to me in the first conversation I had with him
Once I saw this, I felt very clear and free immediately. Later, some thoughts came up, some old personality patterns, some old definitions of who I thought myself to be. I seemed to lose the clear understanding of my nature as presence-awareness. The next day, I talked to Bob about it. He said, ‘Let’s have a look. Do you exist? Are you aware? What is illumining the thought that you have lost it?’ Then I realized that thoughts of suffering were only passing concepts being illumined by the ever-present awareness. I hadn’t lost anything at all. The awareness that we are is never obscured! Suffering seems real because we don’t have a clear understanding of our true nature. Instead, we believe the passing thoughts, such as ‘I am no good,’ ‘I am not there yet,’ ‘I am stuck’ or whatever the thought may be. Eventually we understand that we are not those thoughts. Once our real self is pointed out, the suffering loses its grip.
Bob pointed out that there is no person here at all. The person that we think we are is an imaginary concept. There are thoughts and feelings and perceptions, but they are not a problem. They just rise and fall like dust motes in the light of the presence-awareness that we are.
The closest that the mind can come to representing who we are is the thought ‘I am’. But that thought is not who we really are. Whether that thought is there or not, we still exist. We know the thought ‘I am’. That thought is the start of the false sense of an individual, a separate ‘I’. Because we didn’t know any better, the mind attached other labels to this ‘I’ thought, such as ‘I am good,’ ‘I am bad,’ ‘I have this problem,’ and so on. But those thoughts don’t have anything to do with us, because the very ‘I’ thought itself, the sense of separation, is not actually who we are. Once you see the falseness of the ‘I’ thought, that what we are is not an individual person at all, the identifications and ideas of a lifetime all collapse because they are all based on a false premise.
There is no practice to overcome suffering. It is simply a matter of seeing that the false ‘I’ is an assumption, that the whole mechanism is a conceptual house of cards. Then a lifetime of suffering evaporates. As Bob says, without the cause (the ‘I’), can there be any effects (psychological suffering and bondage)?
As I sat on his couch at one of his talks listening to him say ‘There is no person,’ suddenly it hit me. I looked and saw that right now and here, there is not a separate person in the picture at all. In that moment, all my doubts and confusion evaporated. I realized that all problems and questions stem from the sense of an ‘I’ that was assumed to be there at the centre of my life. Upon actual looking, I discovered it was not there at all. Fifteen years of meditating could not accomplish what occurred in a few moments of direct looking. In that recognition arose a direct and immediate sense of clarity and peace. I intuitively felt that the searching was over. I recall raising my hand and asking Bob, ‘So when you see yourself as the ever-present awareness and that the “I” that we imagined ourselves to be is really non-existent, then there can be no more doubts, questions, or problems. Is that it?’ He confirmed that this was so. From that moment on, I have not felt any serious difficulty or suffering, nor felt the slightest desire or urge to seek, meditate, or pursue any particular spiritual path. The whole landscape shifted and I intuitively knew the seeking was over. The ‘I’ upon which everything was based was not there. However, the shining presence-awareness was still there without effort, the simple fact of our own being.
Finally, Bob pointed out that all things arise in awareness and never exist apart from awareness. It is all one substance, all one light; it is all that; it is non-duality. There is nowhere to go and nothing to obtain. Everything is resolved. We ‘live, move, and have our being’ in that one ocean of light and never, ever move away from that.
This was the understanding that came to me, courtesy of Bob Adamson. It is all words, but maybe a glimmer of something will come through.
How This Understanding Unfolded for Me
The way this understanding unfolded for me was through the following insights. Bob pointed out to me the truth of our nature as presence-awareness or cognizing emptiness. Somehow that clicked for me. It was not so much the words, which I had read countless times before. It was the energy or vitality coming through the words that was potent and impactful. I sensed he was not only saying the words, but also living from that realization. This enabled a resonance to occur. To meet Nisargadatta Maharaj in person and partake in a living dialogue with him would likely have been more potent than reading his book I AM THAT. There was a huge difference between reading the words on paper ‘You are awareness’ and having a direct disciple of Nisargadatta Maharaj tell me in no uncertain terms, ‘You are awareness!’
After having seen this, and feeling some sense of freedom, I still seemed to lose it when contradictory thoughts arose. Bob pointed out that this is, in fact, not possible. You cannot lose your true nature, because it is the substratum of any thinking and perceiving. I realized that we can never leave this. Even if the thought ‘I lost it’ arises, the awareness is there knowing that thought. So the thought is patently false.
The ‘knock-out blow’ was seeing the absence of a person. There is no such entity in the machine. There are only thoughts, experiences and objects arising and subsiding in awareness. There is no one controlling them and no one affected by them. Once this is seen, everything happens just as before, but the imagined person is removed from the film. The film goes on but there is no person starring in it. There are thoughts, but no thinker; actions, but no actor; choices, but no choice-maker. Basically, there is no difference from before, except the sense of separation is gone, along with the psychological suffering, confusion and doubt that appears along with the belief in a separate ‘I’. There is no one at the controls. Life is happening; thoughts are arising; actions are occurring spontaneously. You, as a separate person, are not doing any of these things. You don’t choose your thoughts, feelings, sensations. As Bob says, ‘You are being lived’.
As a final tying up of loose ends, it was helpful to see the fact that all experiences are just movements in awareness. They are like waves arising and falling in the awareness that we are. It is all one substance. There is only one energy, one substance, one taste. Past, future, there, here, I, you, this, that, and so on, are all just conceptual distinctions. Even concepts are that awareness. So you can’t win.
So what is the result? As the writer Wei Wu Wei once wrote, ‘The only problem is that 99.9% of everything you think, say and do is for yourself – and there isn’t one!’ Coming into alignment with the true state of affairs means that the usual strife, struggle and suffering based on wrong understanding vanishes. Life goes on. It is like a dislocated limb popping back into place. You can hardly say what happened, but suddenly everything feels a lot better! Nisargadatta Maharaj said something to the effect, ‘You can only put it negatively: there is nothing wrong anymore’. There is a distinct recognition that the searching is over. You may read books or visit spiritual teachers but you have the experience that they are saying what you already know.
In actual practice, while this understanding is sinking in, the seeker is often plagued by vestigial doubts, questions, and concerns, in spite of however advanced the intellectual understanding may be. I have seen many (including myself) able to converse on all this with the most incredible precision and verbal acumen. The only test is in day-to-day direct experience at the gut, emotional level. Is there any sense of suffering, separation, anxiety or fear? Am I feeling doubt or metaphysical uncertainty? Is the knowledge of my true nature unshakable? If not, the understanding is not complete. The best course, it seems to me, is to find a living teacher and get your doubts resolved directly. Nisargadatta Maharaj used to say, ‘I am not interested in what you have let go of, but what you are still holding onto’. A good teacher can help us resolve any remaining doubts. Then the understanding simply remains clear and steady and beyond doubt.
Received an e-mail from The White Wind Zen Community https://wwzc.org/
Bodhi Leaf
eMirror Vol 30, No. 6
Friday, February 6th, 2026
Edited by the Practice Council
The White Wind Zen Community:
An international community practising and teaching Dogen’s Zen since 1985.
The phrases “thinking of not thinking” and being “Before Thinking” come from a kien-mondo or encounter dialogue which occurs amongst other places as Sanbyakusoku Shobogenzo Case 129.
Once Master Yaoshan Weiyan was sitting.
A monastic asked him, “What are you thinking of sitting there, still and balanced like a mountain?”
The Master said, “Thinking of not thinking.”
The monastic said, “How can not thinking be thought about?”
The Master said, “Be before thinking.”
Later, Master Dogen said, “This present mind is already withered away. Non-mind has not yet appeared. This is the livingness of this life: supremely pure.”
On another occasion, Dogen said, “Li and Chang’s thinking of heaven and earth are just about exhausted in steady sitting. Did you know that above the sitting cushions and Zen boards that hell’s hot water in the cauldrons and charcoal in the fires are naturally pure and cool?”
Some beginning students of Zen think that thinking itself is a problem and that Zen is a kind of state of not thinking and so they try to think their way into not thinking and think that this is Zen. As Sengcan said, they make the mistake of “using the mind to hold the mind” and set themselves against themselves by holding on to the view of a self. Of course many meditative traditions do indeed have a state of blank consciousness as their goal. In order to escape from the drudgery and inconvenience of existence and the inevitable aches and pains and itches of the body and the incessant din and caterwauling of their thoughts, many religious traditions have made putting an end to thought as their aim and have sometimes even equated a thoughtless and blank state with the realization of a higher existence as atman or Brahma or a contra or anti-existence, which is how the nirvana or cessation that the Buddha taught has often been misunderstood. The Buddha’s nirvana is actually the cessation of conditioned experiencing, going beyond the reference points that are the result of locating Knowing in itself as the mere contraction of a sense of a knower or a self. The Buddha realized that this sense of a knower or self is the cause of sufferings that are interminable unless we cease pretending that the sense of a self, the image of a self, is who we are and what Knowing is. And he Taught an end to these sufferings through the path of practice. The Buddha recognized that these states of intense concentration are ultimately useless in putting an end to the suffering and unsatisfactoriness that beings experience in their lives because the mechanisms of grasping and avoidance are not addressed. He saw instead the need for direct and continuous insight into how attention moves towards and away from what is being experienced. However, this insight cannot be unfolded when attention is congested with discursive and imagistic thinking. It must be a quality of attention itself, it must be how experiences are experienced, and not just a story or an attitude about experiences. And so it is essential to stop propagating discursive thoughts, to see how these thoughts arise from a prior congealing and directing of attention and release this by opening attention to the greater context of whole bodily experience.
- Continuing teisho 8: 2005, in 13 August, 2005 in the series "Wandering on Medicine Mountain" presented by Zen Master Anzan Hoshin at Dainen-ji
The Hatto (for formal sittings)
The Zendo (for associate and general sittings)
Fusatsu (Renewal of Vows): February 18th.
Introduction to Zen Workshop Ottawa:
The next Introduction to Zen Workshop will take place on Saturday, February 7th, at 1:45 p.m.
To register: https://IntroductionToZenWorkshop.eventbrite.ca ; for more information please see https://wwzc.org/introduction-zen-workshop-ottawa
Nehan O-sesshin
The Seven-day Nehan O-sesshin will begin on Sunday, February 15th at 8:00 p.m. It will end on Sunday, February 22nd at noon.
A Sitting for Associate and General Students During the Nehan O-sesshin:
A combined sitting for associate and general students will take place in the Zendo on Saturday, February 21st. Arrival time is 9:15 a.m. (in time for First Bell). The sitting ends at 11:30 a.m. Students attending are reminded to remain on the first floor. Seating is limited and registration is required: Register for Combined Sitting
Cancelled Associate Sitting:
The Monday February 16th associate sitting that would normally take place at 7:30 p.m. is cancelled due to the O-sesshin.
Cancelled Associate Sitting:
The Thursday February 19th associate sitting that would normally take place at 7:30 p.m. is cancelled due to the O-sesshin.
A Note to Preliminary and Public Students Concerning O-sesshin:
During an O-sesshin the schedule is such that there is no time to meet face to face with preliminary students or to reply to email correspondence sent by public students. Public students are asked to send their weekly practice journals, as they will be reviewed. But unless there is something that needs an immediate reply, you will not receive an email reply until the week following the O-sesshin.
Nehan:
Commemoration of the Buddha’s Death (Nehan-e) February 15th.
Hermitage:
The Roshi is continuing an extended period of hermitage due to underlying health issues.
Formal Sittings for WWZC Students: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday Mornings. The formal sittings begin at 6:00 a.m. You would need to arrive by 5:45 in time for First Bell. The sitting ends at 7:25 with the Chants. Following that there is a Daruma-kata Aiki review which ends at about 7:50. If you need to leave before the kata, please let us know that in advance by sending an email to [email protected].
Saturday Morning General Sitting for WWZC Students: The general sitting begins at 9:30 a.m. You would need to arrive by 9:15 a.m., in time for First Bell. The sitting ends at 11:45 a.m. Some general students attend the 6:00 a.m. Saturday morning formal sitting, stay for breakfast and then attend the general sitting. If you stay for breakfast, there is a $5 contribution which can be made through Eventbrite: Register for Saturday Breakfast Proceeds from meals go to White Wind Zen Community.
Monday and Thursday Evening Associate Sittings for WWZC Students: The associate sitting begins at 7:30 p.m. You would need to arrive by 7:15 p.m., in time for First Bell. The sitting ends at 9:10 p.m.
Friday (Hosan): There are no formal sittings scheduled at the monastery on Fridays, but you are expected to sit at home if you have committed to sitting zazen daily. Retreats may be scheduled on Fridays.
Sunday Formal Sitting: The Sunday morning formal sittings are reserved for monastics, formal students, and probationary formal students. It starts at 7:00 a.m. and ends at 10:10 a.m. with the chants. Following that there is a Daruma-kata Aiki which ends at about 10:30 a.m.
For students living an hour or more commuting distance from the monastery in Ottawa, please visit this Web Page: https://wwzc.org/long-distance-training-program
If you arrive after the sitting starts and the door is locked, you don't need to turn around and go home. Ring the bell once and then sit on the bench on the front porch. If possible, we will come and unlock the door for you right away. If we are in the middle of the chants or listening to a teisho, we will come to let you in as soon as the teisho finishes.
Congratulations and deep gassho to Onur Onder of Ottawa on being accepted as a general student.
Information About Scheduling Retreats or Training Sessions
General student Julien Jefferson sat a three-day retreat from Saturday, January 31st to Monday, February 2nd at Dainen-ji. Associate student Kathleen Johnson sat a half-day retreat on Thursday, January 29th at Dainen-ji. Associate student Bryan Roh sat a half-day retreat on Saturday, January 31st at Dainen-ji.
Listening to Recorded Teisho and Dharma Talks
Recorded Teachings Schedule for January 31st to February 7th:February 7th to February 14th:
General sitting Saturday, February 7th: The Primordially Awakened Way: Zen Master Anzan Hoshin's Commentaries on Eihei Dogen zenji's "Kobutsu-shin": Teisho 6: Collapsing, Dropping, Falling (18 minutes)
Formal sitting Sunday, February 8th: "SAkN The Anatomy of Awakening" by Zen Master Anzan Hoshin: Teisho 6: The Matter of Consciousness (23 minutes)
Associate sittings Monday, February 9th and Thursday, February 12th: Flowers and Worms: Zen Master Anzan Hoshin's Commentary on the Maharahulovadasutta: Teisho 1: Introduction: Falling Flowers: a reading of the sutta (16 minutes)
General sitting Saturday, February 14th: The Primordially Awakened Way: Zen Master Anzan Hoshin's Commentaries on Eihei Dogen zenji's "Kobutsu-shin": Teisho 7: The Naked Post (23 minutes)
While most of the online Recorded Teachings library is password-protected and only accessible to students of the Lineage of Zen Master Anzan Hoshin, a small selection of MP3 recordings of teisho are accessible to the public at wwzc.org/recorded-teachings Additional recordings will be uploaded periodically. MP3 recordings of four recorded teisho by Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi are currently available:
Dharma Position http://wwzc.org/dharma-position
Eyes See, Ears Hear http://wwzc.org/eyes-see-ears-hear
Embarrassment http://wwzc.org/embarrassment
Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi's reading of his translation of Eihei Dogen zenji's “Bendowa: A Talk on Exerting the Way”: http://wwzc.org/bendowa-talk-exerting-way
Photograph of Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi at Daijozan, mid-1980s, by Ven. Shikai Zuiko osho
Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi has recently completed translation work on some shorter texts by Eihei Dogen zenji from the Shobogenzo. The work on these particular texts is based upon the literal translations that he worked on with Joshu Dainen roshi at Hakukaze-ji around 1977-78 followed by many years of putting them down, picking them up, and polishing. Naturally, more essential texts such as Uji, Genjokoan, Shinjin Gakudo and some 40 others were completed first and have been given extensive commentaries by the Roshi. This batch of texts includes Keisei Sanshoku: Sounds of Streams, Forms of Mountains, Baike: Plum Blossoms, Ryugin: Howling Dragon, and Udonge: The Udumbara Blossoming and many others are nearing completion. Annotation details and successfully conveying them across various document formats are the issue at this point.
Work on Bussho: Buddha Nature, a very long and nuanced text by Dogen zenji, is still ongoing.
Roshi also finished an update to the “Saijo Shingi: The Deportment of Radiance”, our manual of monastic training standards which is a supplement to the ancient Eihei Shingi and Keizan Shingi.
Dharma Talk: “Embarrassment”
Dharma Talk presented by Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi on August 25th, 1990.
https://wwzc.org/embarrassment-0/
Teisho: “Practising Without an Edge”
Teisho presented by Ven. Jinmyo Renge sensei on February 19th, 2025
https://wwzc.org/practising-without-an-edge/
Teisho: “I Know Who You Are!”
Teisho presented by Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi, presented at Dainen-ji on March 13th, 1999
https://wwzc.org/teisho-i-know-who-you-are/
Dharma Assembly: On Karma
Mondo by Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi, Presented in April of 1986, River Road Zendo.
https://wwzc.org/dharma-assembly-karma/
If you would like to offer time to help with maintenance in the grounds your help will be appreciated. You can offer a regular period of samu or make arrangements with the shissui to come for a single period of caretaking practice. Please write to [email protected] or directly to Saigyo ino at [email protected] if you can assist with this work. Thank you.
Saigyo ino has made a selection of wooden practice materials which are now for sale in Myomaku. These include boxes for storing incense, incense bowls, kneeling benches and kaishaku. He is donating a portion of the proceeds to WWZC. You are welcome to go into myomaku before or after sittings to see what’s available.
If you need alternate parking near the monastery due to snow parking bans or lack of parking spots you can use the Loblaws car park located at 363 Rideau Street - Parking - Loblaws.
The car park is open until 10:00 p.m and charges $4 per hour. A full day 6:00a.m. to 6:00 p.m. is $10.
Dogen zenji taught in the Tenzo Kyokun: Instructions for the Tenzo (Tenzo kyokun: Instructions for the Tenzo https://wwzc.org/dharma-text/tenzo-kyokun-instructions-tenzo) that the work of preparing and serving meals is "a matter for realized monks who have the mind of the Way“, or by senior disciples who have roused the Way-seeking mind." In alignment with this, part of Zen Master Anzan Hoshin's samu for the Community involves personally overseeing the activities of the ancient Office of Tenzo. Ven. Jinmyo Renge sensei serves as Tenzo and Mishin godo and Saigyo ino offer assistance as tenzo-anja.
The WWZC does not advocate any particular diet. However all meals prepared during practice events, such as Dharma Assemblies, sesshin, or retreats are vegetarian or vegan as most people can eat this. On Tuesday evenings there is an optional meat dish, as some people find that a purely vegetarian diet, especially as they get older, is not sufficient for their health. If you are adhering to a strictly vegan diet, you can write to the tenzo, Jinmyo Renge sensei, at [email protected] a week prior to attending an event to request vegan foods. If you are lactose intolerant or have allergies to foods, you should write to the tenzo about dietary restrictions a week before attending events.
The following meals were prepared this week:
Saturday Breakfast (Mishin godo):
Mayak eggs (Korean marinated eggs): 6-minute soft boiled eggs, peeled and marinated in light shoyu, water, honey, minced red pencil chiles, minced garlic, chopped scallions, minced white onion) garnished with sesame seeds, sesame oil, and chopped scallions, served on a bed of Calrose rice.
Sunday Yakuseki (Mishin godo):
Rigatoni in garlic-butter sauce (minced white onion, minced garlic, chile flakes, butter, olive oil, green peas, cream); black lentil vegetable soup (black beluga lentils, chopped carrots, onion, celery, sweet potato, tomato paste, dried thyme, smoked paprika, salt, black pepper); diced friulano cheese mixed with chopped gherkins and lemon zest.
Monday Yakuseki (Jinmyo sensei):
Roasted root vegetables (rutabaga, turnips, parsnips, potatoes, carrots cooked with bran oil, vegan butter, salt, pepper and garlic powder); ‘Beyond Burger’ patties; diced carrots with peas and corn, butter, salt and pepper; parsley sauce (roux, vegetable stock, Dijon mustard, pinch of garlic powder, lots of black pepper, chopped parsley); boiled diced carrots, peas, and corn mixed with butter, salt, and pepper.
Tuesday Yakuseki (Jinmyo sensei):
Mixed grain (calrose short-grain white rice, Thai jasmine rice, arborio rice, basmati rice, long-grain white rice); tonkatsu (pork loin pounded until thin, dipped in a batter made from equal parts of all-purpose flour, corn starch and rice flour seasoned with garlic powder, onion powder, white pepper and salt then coated with panko and deep fried); tonkatsu sauce made from cooked, blended chopped onion, chopped apple, shoyu, Worcestershire sauce, tomato paste, sesame oil; slaw of thinly cut green cabbage, carrots, and white onion dressed with lime juice, salt, and black pepper.
Thursday Yakuseki (Jinmyo sensei)
Warmed naan with butter; dal (toor and masoor dal, cumin and mustard seeds, hing, dried red chillies, green chillies, ginger/garlic paste, chopped tomatoes and onions, garam masala, Kashmiri chilli powder, dried fenugreek leaves, fresh coriander); salad of chopped green butter lettuce, romaine, green leaf lettuce, and radicchio, thinly sliced red onion, and grated carrot with an optional Indian-style dressing of equal parts mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, and apple cider vinegar blended with mango chutney, lime pickle, honey, salt and black pepper.
Also made this week by Jinmyo sensei: Advance meal preparation for the upcoming O-sesshin (toor dal and mango curry to be frozen); apple crisp; lamb and rabbit cat food.
If you would like to thank someone for a contribution they have made, please feel free to send an email to Jinmyo sensei at rengezo@gmail dot com, but be sure to type "eMirror” in the subject line.
From Stacey Loyer:
Thank you to the Roshi for sharing the documentary Dream Window: reflections on the Japanese garden to a group of formal students and monks in 1993, along with providing valuable context around how the Japanese approach to gardens arose. Thank you to Shikai Zuiko osho for describing this film and sharing the Roshi's comments in the Winter 1993 issue of Zanmai, in her Dharma MediaWatch column. I was able to find Dream Window on youtube and really enjoyed it.
From Julien Jefferson:
Thank you to Roshi for presenting the teisho series "The Primordially Awakened Way" and "Playing With Space", which I have been listening to recently. Thank you to Jinmyo sensei for compiling the Retreat Handbook, in which I can always find exactly what I need to know. Thank you to Mishin godo and Saigyo ino for recent practice interviews. Thank you to the tenzo and tenzo-anja for preparing delicious wintry food during my retreat, especially the pea soup.
I recently had a chat with someone who is a devout Roman Catholic. Although he holds deep faith and devotion to Jesus Christ and his religion, he shared a fascinating experience with me: he has been meditating spontaneously, untaught and uninfluenced by anyone.
He told me that when he feels stressed, he simply sits and tries to calm his mind into total silence. His initial motivation wasn't spiritual seeking per se—he wasn't following any specific instructions—but simply a desire to stop his racing mind and alleviate stress. However, in that silence, something profound happened. More than once, he saw or felt a "great bright light." Later on, he began to feel this great light spontaneously even before sleep.
When I asked him to describe it—specifically if the light had a color—he said it is a "colorless brilliance." It wasn't so much something visually seen with the eyes, but rather a felt-sense of brilliance.
He intuited that the deeper essence of his being is that light, a knowing derived from these glimpses, though he hasn't yet reached a total realization.
I affirmed his intuition. I encouraged him to let that light reveal more of itself and suggested he inquire, "Who am I?" I explained that this inner light emanating from within is, in fact, the deeper essence of one's Being. Our fundamental brightness is akin to a brilliance a million times brighter than the sun. It has never been lost, not even for a moment; it is merely obscured by clouds. The sun never leaves; it is only the clouds—our ego, our ignorance, our grasping thoughts—that hide it.
I mentioned that although I am not Catholic, I have read the Bible (including the four Gospels and the Gospel of Thomas), and Jesus himself spoke about that inner light on many occasions. (For more on this, see:
I explained that through the millennia, many mystics in Christianity and Catholicism have discovered the essence of this inner light and the essence of God. To bridge our understanding, I told him about the Roman Catholic priest Father Laurence Freeman, who taught meditation to Lee Kuan Yew, the founding father and first prime minister of Singapore.
Lee Kuan Yew realized his true self through meditation guided by Father Freeman. Freeman guided him to discover his "True Self"—or the "Light of Self-Nature"—through the practice of Christian Meditation. You can watch a discussion regarding this here:
Interestingly, although the main practice of Father Laurence Freeman is contemplative prayer and reciting the mantra 'Maranatha,' he also incorporated self-enquiry into the practices he taught.
The core theological concept here is the "Indwelling Light." Freeman teaches that the Light of Christ is already present within everyone; this is an ontological fact, not a reward we earn through holy behavior. He often uses the metaphor of a stream: the living water of God's love is constantly flowing. We do not need to pump the water; we only need to clear the silt and the residue of the "ego" that blocks the flow.
Freeman further expounds on this by addressing the problem of duality. He explains that typically, our consciousness is divided: "I" am looking at "you," or "I" am thinking about "God." This is duality.
However, the "Indwelling Light" is a state of unified, non-dual awareness. When you enter the silence of the mantra, you are no longer "looking at" the light; you become the light, or rather, realize that your true self is that light. You are participating in the consciousness of Christ himself. As Father Freeman quoted a teacher saying, "The self is the inner light. It is self-evident and it does not become an object of perception."
To enter this state requires what Freeman calls "Poverty of Spirit." He emphasizes that the only cost to obtain this light is the "loss of self." We usually hide behind a "safety barrier" made of our own thoughts and imaginations about God because we prefer a concept of God (which we can control) over the reality of God (which is an irresistible, overwhelming light). To contact this "Indwelling Light," you must be willing to become "poor"—to sit in silence without a single clever thought, theological insight, or holy feeling. It is in this absolute stillness that the shadow of the "ego" dissolves, and the light is revealed.
Crucially, Freeman points out that this light does not stay in the meditation room. Once the impurities are cleared, this light permeates the daily mind. It changes the way you see: you stop projecting your own shadow onto others. You begin to recognize the same "Indwelling Light" in the people you meet—even those you dislike. In his view, this is the foundation of true Christian compassion: seeing the radiance of the same Light refracted through different personalities.
Following this, I shared with him a passage from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which speaks directly to this realization:
Christ: The Reality of Your Divine Presence
Don’t get attached to any one word. You can substitute “Christ” for presence, if that is more meaningful to you. Christ is your God-essence or the Self, as it is sometimes called in the East. The only difference between Christ and presence is that Christ refers to your indwelling divinity regardless of whether you are conscious of it or not, whereas presence means your awakened divinity or God-essence.
Many misunderstandings and false beliefs about Christ will clear if you realize that there is no past or future in Christ. To say that Christ was or will be is a contradiction in terms. Jesus was. He was a man who lived two thousand years ago and realized divine presence, his true nature. And so he said, “Before Abraham was, I am.” He did not say: “I already existed before Abraham was born.” That would have meant that he was still within the dimension of time and form identity.
The words I am used in a sentence that starts in the past tense indicate a radical shift, a discontinuity in the temporal dimension. It is a Zen-like statement of great profundity. Jesus attempted to convey directly, not through discursive thought, the meaning of presence, of self-realization. He had gone beyond the conscious dimension governed by time, into the realm of the timeless. The dimension of eternity had come into this world. Eternity, of course, does not mean endless time, but no time. Thus, the man, Jesus, became Christ, a vehicle for pure consciousness.
And what is God’s self-definition in the Bible? Did God say, “I have always been, and I always will be?” Of course not. That would have given reality to past and future. God said: “I AM THAT I AM.” No time here, just presence.
The “second coming” of Christ is a transformation of human consciousness, a shift from time to presence, from thinking to pure consciousness, not the arrival of some man or woman. If “Christ” were to return tomorrow in some externalized form, what could he or she possibly say to you other than this: “I am the Truth. I am divine presence. I am eternal life. I am within you. I am here. I am Now.”
Never personalize Christ. Don’t make Christ into a form identity. Avatars, divine mothers, enlightened masters, the very few that are real, are not special as persons. Without a false self to uphold, defend, and feed, they are more simple, more ordinary than the ordinary man or woman. Anyone with a strong ego would regard them as insignificant or, more likely, not see them at all.
If you are drawn to an enlightened teacher, it is because there is already enough presence in you to recognize presence in another. There were many people who did not recognize Jesus or the Buddha, as there are and always have been many people who are drawn to false teachers. Egos are drawn to bigger egos. Darkness cannot recognize light. Only light can recognize light. So don’t believe that the light is outside you or that it can only come through one particular form. If only your master is an incarnation of God, then who are you? Any kind of exclusivity is identification with form, and identification with form means ego, no matter how well disguised.
Use the master’s presence to reflect your own identity beyond name and form back to you and to become more intensely present yourself. You will soon realize that there is no “mine” or “yours” in presence. Presence is one.
Group work can also be helpful for intensifying the light of your presence. A group of people coming together in a state of presence generates a collective energy field of great intensity. It not only raises the degree of presence of each member of the group but also helps to free the collective human consciousness from its current state of mind dominance. This will make the state of presence increasingly more accessible to individuals.
However, unless at least one member of the group is already firmly established in it and thus can hold the energy frequency of that state, the egoic mind can easily reassert itself and sabotage the group’s endeavors. Although group work is invaluable, it is not enough, and you must not come to depend on it. Nor must you come to depend on a teacher or a master, except during the transition period, when you are learning the meaning and practice of presence.
During our chat, he also asked me about Kundalini. I told him that I am not a practitioner of Kundalini yoga, but I shared my only direct experience with it, which occurred through a dream many years ago:
Sleep Kundalini
An awakened teacher appeared in my sleep in the form of a doctor yesterday and guided me into clear nondual presence. He seemed to telepathically direct me on how to bring my energy up through the spine into my higher (crown?) chakras. As I went into it, I felt this presence and state of absorption grow more and more intense until the bliss was so incredible that I woke up.
Even a while after I woke up, I still felt the bliss energy and vibrations going up from bottom to top through the base of my spine up to my nape through my sushumna nadi (central channel). This was slightly different from previous instances where it was more related to something like the heart chakra.
Then something somewhat miraculous happened—keep in mind my mind was super awake and blissful after I woke up, and although it was 4 a.m., I was not in a dreamlike state. I saw my hands glowing with light. At first, I thought it was coming from my watch, but I checked, and I was not wearing one. I sent a description to John Tan and went back to sleep.
Just wanted to share this interesting experience. Today my state of consciousness felt clearer and cleaner.
Incidentally, years later, I found that Chögyal Namkhai Norbu described something similar regarding Kundalini in his book, The Crystal and the Way of Light, acknowledging it as a valid path to enlightenment within the Dzogchen context.
To round off these thoughts, I came across another passage by Eckhart Tolle today that addresses the friction between different levels of religious understanding. It serves as a great reminder of how we can view these differences with wisdom rather than conflict.
Question to Eckhart Tolle:
"My Christian friend thinks I am going to hell because I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I disagree with my Christian (or Catholic) friend. I think my friend is stuck in an ego-based belief system. Who is right, Eckhart?"
Eckhart Tolle answers:
Well, I'm sure your friend thinks he is right. And I'm sure you think you are right. And now you want me to confirm that you are right.
There are certain levels of evolution and there are also certain levels of spirituality. And what works on one level for certain people may not work on another level for others...
At a certain level of consciousness, you regard Jesus as your personal savior. There are other levels of consciousness where you may regard Jesus as a representation of Christ consciousness. And Christians can go that way. You can go very deeply and still be a Christian. You can transcend the lower level belief systems that are associated with not only with Christianity, with any religion...
You can go to a deeper, deeper level of realization and can still have Jesus or Christ as the representation of transcendent consciousness. And then that may still work for you. So there are teachings that are quite profound. For example, A Course in Miracles that use Christian terminology, but take it to a deeper level. Other teachings, Joel Goldsmith... He also took Christianity to a deeper level.
There were medieval Christian mystics like Meister Eckhart, perhaps the most profound, who took Christianity, even medieval Christianity, which was extremely absurdly limited and totally intolerant... and Meister Eckhart took that and he revealed, he interpreted in such a way that it suddenly had enormous depth...
So let your friend be saved and allow him to believe that you are not saved and that you are going to hell. And perhaps one day you can talk to him about, not about presence, but about Christ consciousness. You might even select certain passages in the New Testament where I believe St. Paul, for example, says somewhere, "I must diminish and Christ in me must grow." ... Really, that means Christ, the consciousness, the mind of Christ, as it's called sometimes by St. Paul, the mind of Christ, as opposed to the little me.
One thing about the archetype of suffering that is embodied in the figure of Jesus, because the person who is suffering on the cross is an archetype of human suffering... And over the centuries, it has, I believe, to some extent helped many people to enter the state of surrender when suffering arose for them, because they felt that they relived or reflected the suffering of Jesus on the cross. And by feeling that they went through the same suffering as Jesus on the cross, they were able to surrender to their suffering. And if you surrender, then something else arises, inner peace arises...
The cross is, amazingly, it's a torture instrument and a symbol for the divine in the Christian religion... How can a torture instrument symbolize God or the divine? But there is a deeper meaning behind that. Suffering, which is symbolized by the cross, can become the doorway into the divine. And then the very thing, the worst thing in your life that created the suffering, when you surrender, becomes the doorway into presence... The torture instrument becomes a symbol. The cross is now suddenly a symbol for the divine because it becomes a doorway.
— Eckhart Tolle (Source: "Anna's archive -- Eckhart Tolle Magnum Opus")
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