https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-v-awakening/37-models-of-the-stages-of-awakening/ditching-our-stuff-versus-ditching-the-split/
While these two models are stated implicitly earlier, I thought I
would summarize them again to make sure that I have made this important
point clear. There are models of awakening that involve getting rid of
all of our “stuff”, that is, our issues, flaws, quirks, pains, negative
emotions, traumas, personalities, cultural baggage, childhood scars,
relationship difficulties, insecurities, fears, strange notions,
illnesses, etc. Such models underlie most of the mainstream ideals of
spiritual attainment.
What is funny is that lots of people spend so much time working so
hard to get rid of all their stuff but think that awakening, which is
ditching the illusion of the separate self and the dualistic split, is
largely unattainable. I have exactly the opposite view: that ditching
the split is very attainable, but getting rid of all of our stuff while
in this mammalian body is completely impossible. When I hear about those
who wish to attain a type of Buddhahood that is defined by not having
any stuff in any form, regardless of how it is perceived by them, I
usually think to myself that the countless eons they usually claim are
necessary to accomplish this are a gross underestimation. The real world
is about stuff, and awakening is about the real world.
What is nice about ditching the split, aside from the fact that it
can be done, is that now we can naturally, gently, be friends with our
stuff, even if our stuff sucks. We can work with it as well as can be
expected and from a place of great clarity and understanding. Stage by
stage, ditching the split makes all the slow but necessary healing so
much easier, or at least more tolerable and less miserable. Thus, take
the time to work with your stuff, or try not to, as you like. Our stuff
is here and being dealt with anyway.
Try these two scenarios on for size and see which seems to fit with
your life goals, with your vision of a life well-lived. In the first,
imagine working with your stuff as best you can for most of your life,
never really knowing what is just needless mind noise and mental duress
caused by a lack of basic clarity. In your old age, you do the practices
that lead to realization. The benefits of that level of understanding
may then be used for yourself and others during the remaining years of
your life.
In the second scenario, you take the time early in your spiritual
practice to attain realization, following the precise instructions and
recommendations of a well-developed insight tradition. You then use that
level of increased clarity, acceptance, intimacy with life, and
transcendence to work on your stuff and benefit others for the rest of
your life. The second approach seems vastly superior to me, but my
biases are a result of my own conditioning. Our conditioning,
opportunity or lack thereof, and circumstance will have a strong impact
on what happens. Still, from a relative point of view, take
responsibility for the choice you make.