Ruben Farina

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Hi, I'll share a bit of my experience, any advice is welcome.

I've been reading the blog for the past few years, felt really drawn towards anatta and emptiness teachings and started practicing accordingly.

At the time, I was practicing vipassana "MCTB style" which I still find very useful so I just added the two stanzas contemplation to that.

I had no prior I AM phase. I did contemplate "who am I" for some time but at some point I wasn't interested in that anymore.

Over a period of a couple years I had some peak experiences and seemingly final insight moments, but day to day experience still felt somewhat dual.

Recently tho I think I broke through something.

A week ago while contemplating "in seeing, just the seen" there was a sudden realization of no consciousness separate from experience, the eyes opened, the dark room was the one hand clapping. It was powerful and sudden like a thunder. Experience was always non-dual. Walking, the steps on the floor were presence itself as well as the whole room.

The next day however I noticed that there was still effort in trying to make appearances feel like presence, until a few days later, no presence at all, no mind, no consciousness, only transitory sensory phenomena and the recognition that it is truly always been like that.

This was less powerful but more freeing and relieving than the other one. Now I'm starting to see how the body and other objects share a similar nature as the one discovered about presence, I'm very curious to keep practicing and see how things unfold as the insight seems to be deepening an maturing day after day.

Thanks everyone and the blog authors, I don't know if this would have been possible without your help.

4 Comments

Yin Ling

Admin

Ur paTh is very similar to mine! How long did u practice vipassana for?

I’m so happy for u.

Reply1d

Ruben Farina

Author

Yin Ling thanks, I think maybe 4/5 years

Reply1d

Yin Ling

Admin

Ruben Farina wow u were so ripe for it

Reply1d

Soh Wei Yu

Admin

very good

"What is presence now? Everything... Taste saliva, smell, think, what is that? Snap of a finger, sing. All ordinary activity, zero effort therefore nothing attained. Yet is full accomplishment. In esoteric terms, eat God, taste God, see God, hear God...lol. That is the first thing I told Mr. J few years back when he first messaged me If a mirror is there, this is not possible. If clarity isn't empty, this isn't possible. Not even slightest effort is needed. Do you feel it? Grabbing of my legs as if I am grabbing presence! Do you have this experience already? When there is no mirror, then entire existence is just lights-sounds-sensations as single presence. Presence is grabbing presence. The movement to grab legs is Presence.. the sensation of grabbing legs is Presence.. For me even typing or blinking my eyes. For fear that it is misunderstood, don't talk about it. Right understanding is no presence, for every single sense of knowingness is different. Otherwise Mr. J will say nonsense... lol. When there is a mirror, this is not possible. Think I wrote to longchen (Sim Pern Chong) about 10 years ago.” - John Tan years ago

“It is such a blessing after 15 years of "I Am" to come to this point . Beware that the habitual tendencies will try its very best to take back what it has lost. Get use to doing nothing. Eat God, taste God, see God and touch God.

Congrats.” – John Tan to Sim Pern Chong after his initial breakthrough from I AM to no-self in 2006, http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/.../part-2-of...

“An interesting comment Mr. J. After realization… Just eat God, breathe God, smell God and see God… Lastly be fully unestablished and liberate God.” - John Tan, 2012

"

"The purpose of anatta is to have full blown experience of the heart -- boundlessly, completely, non-dually and non-locally. Re-read what I wrote to Jax.

In every situations, in all conditions, in all events. It is to eliminate unnecessary contrivity so that our essence can be expressed without obscuration.

Jax wants to point to the heart but is unable to express in a non-dual way... for in duality, the essence cannot be realized. All dualistic interpretation are mind made. You know the smile of Mahākāśyapa? Can you touch the heart of that smile even 2500 yrs later?

One must lose all mind and body by feeling with entire mind and body this essence which is 心 (Mind). Yet 心 (Mind) too is 不可得 (ungraspable/unobtainable).. The purpose is not to deny 心 (Mind) but rather not to place any limitations or duality so that 心 (Mind) can fully manifest.

Therefore without understanding 缘 (conditions)，is to limit 心 (Mind). without understanding 缘(conditions)，is to place limitation in its manifestations. You must fully experience 心 (Mind) by realizing 无心 (No-Mind) and fully embrace the wisdom of 不可得 (ungraspable/unobtainable)." - John Tan/Thusness, 2014

Part 2 of Early Forum Posts by Thusness

Part 2 of Early Forum Posts by Thusness

Part 2 of Early Forum Posts by Thusness

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