Sat in Starbucks for 2 hours just looking around, gonna pen this then go back to my hotel room.
Continuing from last post, the first no self insight happened in nov 21..
But I wasn’t confident of my xp tbh, I wasn’t sure of it, Bec I have never read much anywhere how ppl describe anatta. The masters teach you but they never really describe it phenomenally.
I also did not expect it to come so soon
After a few cycles of refining, the mind slowly got used to fusing with phenomenas, expansive, non-cognitive way of perceiving.
I believe Bec this way of perceiving is blissful the mind gradually chose to go there
But one have to be willing. willing to allow the self to be gone without a trace, and fused with sounds, other ppl, sights. Let Everyone and everything becomes you. It is blissful.
But certain traumatic situations still throw my mind back into identification. Painful memories, ppl you don’t like, situations that traumatised, lots of shadow work needs to be done to be truly no self. U need to choose truth over story. Hard to wake up if trauma is not overcome as it is v primal
Now, sitting in Starbucks, I am the whole room, the lights shimmering, the Korean couple, the coffee, the touch, the music, the chatter, the shape and colour of my body, the warmth of my body.. I am all, and there is no self anywhere to be found.
Just this beautiful dance of consciousness fluxing as a whole, no in/out, no me/them, I can’t even name that as a sound if my cognitive mind doesn’t come on. It’s just presence, presence and presence. So blissful, so beautiful.
Presence is light as cotton candy, as all is pure consciousness, not mental not physical, nothing to be said, can’t be found, can’t be grasp, just dancing and dancing with so much energy vividness radiance and joyful ness.
No line of separation anywhere. My mind just rest, bliss bounce up, I smile.
I could do that all day.
REALITY IS SO BEAUTIful.
I am a child again.
Curiously looking at everything.
Sometimes I pretend to be an adult and look at my phone, but tbh I just want to experience and feel everything coz they are so intimate.
What a gift to wake up
Getting some air and a decaf coffee.
Suspect that this is not decaf.
Why is there so much bliss in my experience today?
Is it the coffee?
I close my eyes, I take a deep breath.
The breath is blissful.
I look around, everything is just bliss, how strange !
It’s like someone injected me with Cyclizine. Is that how cyclizine feels ?
deep peace. It’s so still here.
A kind of satiated-ness, contentment, zero restlessness, Zero desire. All is enough, all is ok. I have no where to go, nothing to get, nothing to do, nothing to prove.
There is not much thoughts, almost complete quiet in the brain, it’s like the brain forgot to think about “me” today.
Look down on this body, oh hi body, used to live inside you. Lol. You are actually not more than the cup of coffee now. How strange.
Ppl get joy from absorption.
This bliss of just being is incredibly powerful too. Just. Wow. Who knew.
- John Tan: Hm....the whole radiance stands out of the body. I told u this b4.
John Tan: But unusual at this point in time as her anatta is still within the 90 days cycle? She must not focus or "concentrate" further but rather be natural and insubstantial.
John Tan: Did u tell or write to another about this b4?
Soh: I didnt write to her about this but i did write about mind body drop in my journal and atr guide
John Tan: Mind body dropped is different from radiance standing out with mind and body deconstructed.
Soh: Ic.. i wrote about that too but not to her. Probably somewhere in my journal or atr guide
John Tan: Don't keep writing about experiences, just write about insight
John Tan: Otherwise ppl might fabricate experiences
John Tan: She is very serious in her practice...👍
Esteemed ones, I’m asking for advice
Recently an energy imbalance preceded the insight of “body drop” and experience change a lot, felt like completely stepping out of body. And sometimes the body could be forgotten completely in the background.
I only notice it after the bond is broken, like all insights, the knowledge of the insight only comes after being released. When I am identified as the body, I can’t feel the bond. The power of delusion.
There is a huge change in experiencing. As significant as anatta. Hope I’m not overemphasising but this is what I feel. Like it should be a stage 5a or sthg, haha.
This made me wonder if there is any more identification that I am identifying with that I couldn’t see? What is your xp? Could you kindly share so I could see my blind spots?
Soh Wei Yu
That’s good.. do read this. Mind body drop is listed in the second
Soh Wei Yu probably about 4 months I think.
Yeah I thought mind body already dropped coz it’s just sensations.
Then this is another step, like walk out of body. Lol. Probably just the degree of dropping but it surprised me as there’s huge energy release before I realise this subtle change
Albert Hong no not really, it’s hard to put.
Initially the body was just sensations, spots of sensations here and there .. so I thought ok that was mind body drop ppl were talking about.
Then past one week, I realise ooo it’s not really, becuase now the disidenfification of body is even deeper, like it just blend into the background while awareness is boundless before it, and sometimes one could forget about the body and realise ooo I forgot about my body just now I left it behind
Then I realise I was actually bonded to my body quite strongly before even though it’s left with sensations, the bond breaks like how non duality happen with sound and self. Clean break
Then it feels like awareness now is freed even more.
I feel like I’m overemphasising Anatta, though
This may or may not be useful to you, but I've cycled through the no-body/no-thought progressions a few times. They seem to be temporary in terms of sustained effect (i.e. the feeling of a body/mind fades in and out), so I wouldn't place too much emphasis on trying to maintain a particular state. You seem to be pretty far along, so I will suggest a simple, powerful technique a friend of mine recommended when I was going through energetic swings. Basically, he said to just keep relaxing as much as possible. Whatever fades, fades, and whatever remains, remains. If you continue this progressive relaxation until even the subtlest knots resolve, the body-drop experience will blossom into full, embodied joy and spaciousness that is a bit more sustainable. Basically, you are trying to rewire the human nervous system to be at peace... with peace