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Soh

我常说,自我探究(亦可译作自我参究)不是一种咒语。它不是让你在心里仅仅重复“我是谁……我是谁……”这不是那种修法。它是一种调查,一种探索,一种对身份的真实本质和意识的真实本质的参究。

“出生前,我是谁?”这个参究/公案具有双重目的:消除所有概念上的认同(自我),并发现一个人底层的光明意识,即纯粹的临在/存在。

在我历时两年多(2008年至2010年2月)的自我探究旅程中,包含了诸如“出生前,我是谁?”这样的冥想参究。在这个过程中,通过这种提问,我们排除了所有关于“我”的候选者——我不是我的手、我的腿、我的名字、我的思想。它们来来去去并被观察到,它们不是我。那么我是什么?正如John Tan之前所说:“如果没有排除法,你无法了知‘终极源头’”。它排除了什么?将自我与各种心智构建和感知的客体等同起来的概念认同。这就是为什么会问“出生前”,因为它引导心智进行这种排除。而这种排除又揭示了什么?我是谁,在那个排除的过程之后独自显露出来的这个光明存在(Being)是什么?

Ramana Maharshi说:

1. 我是谁?

由七种构成要素(dhatus)组成的粗重身体,不是我;五种认知感官,即听觉、触觉、视觉、味觉和嗅觉,它们分别感知各自的客体,即声音、触感、颜色、味道和气味,不是我;五种行为器官,即发声、移动、抓取、排泄和生殖的器官,其各自功能为说话、移动、抓取、排泄和享受,不是我;五种生命气息(prana等),分别执行吸气等五种功能,不是我;甚至那个思考的心智,不是我;还有那仅具有客体残留印象、且其中没有客体和运作的无明,也不是我。

2. 如果我不是这些中的任何一个,那么我是谁?

在将上述所有事物以‘不是这个’、‘不是那个’予以否定之后,那唯一剩下的觉知——那就是我。

3. 觉知的本质是什么?

觉知的本质是存在、意识与喜乐”

- 完整阅读请访问 https://files.awakeningtoreality.com/who_am_I.pdf

这种提问(出生前,我是谁?)将我引向了寂静冥想中的一个时刻,在那里一切都平息了,只留下一种对纯粹存在和临在的毫无疑问、不可动摇的确信。

因此,通过自我探究或禅宗公案之类的提示,不断排除概念直到不剩任何东西,将使人能够达到一种完全的寂静状态(概念心智的寂静),并直接现证临在/明晰/光明。

虽然这种方法有效地溶解了概念上的执着并揭示了意识的光明核心,但它未能解决实有见以及能知与所知(能与所)的二元性,也未能对自我与现象皆为唯名假立产生更深的洞见,并克服对四边的实体化执取。有时我们简称为“实有(inherentness)”,实有意味着概念被实体化并被误认为是真实的。但这需要更深的洞见和证悟,并且对于解除更深层的烦恼障与所知障至关重要。仅仅暂停概念性思维,甚至揭示一个人的光明,都不足以了悟其本质。

在这一点上,正如John Tan所指出的,在现证光明之后,“在我们跳入下一条路径并专注于光明和自然状态之前,如果不认识世俗的含义并看透它们,将会存在持续的认知和情绪障碍。你能走多深、多远?更不用说当一个人甚至无法区分什么是世俗什么是终极时,去谈论自然状态了。”

John Tan以前说过:

“当我们直接现证光明与明晰时,我们对所谓的‘远离一切戏论的终极’有了第一手的体验品尝,但心智并非‘远离戏论’。”

"John Tan以前也说过:'如果非概念性没有最终导致无念(non-mentation),那么它将必须涉及看透世俗建构(conventional constructs)的胜观(special insight),从而导向对真如(suchness)/纯然显现(pure appearances)的直接现证。这种在心理建构消解与空性明晰之间关系的体验性洞见就是般若。现证这一点,人们便能将其扩展到身体建构,并最终扩展到所有其他更微细的建构,直到免于任何人为造作的自然状态。'"

“实际上,无我是一个很好的直接直指方法,之后可以使用分析来支持这种直接的体验性洞见。分析的路径不容易触发这样的洞见。它必须像公案一样有一个突然的飞跃或突破。”

(评论其他人:)“这就像远离一切戏论进入自然状态。但是,如果未能了悟本初清净的自然状态,一个人可能会被误导并陷入无念的非概念性之中。”

我前段时间也写过:

“将自我性或认知视为能知(主体),将现象视为所知(客体),是阻碍将显现品尝为光明与明晰的根本戏论……即使在体证无我之后,仍然存在微细的所知障,实体化现象、生与灭、实质的因果、实有产生等等。

所以戏论不仅是像贴标签这样粗大的思维,对我来说,它就像一层实体化的面纱,投射并扭曲了光明的显现及其本质。

另一种说法是,由于没有了达心智/显现的本质,从而在存在与不存在的两边极端中将自我和现象实体化,这就是遮蔽了现实/真如的根本概念戏论。

...

如果你的意思仅仅是现证像‘我是’(I AM)那样的光明与明晰,那只是非概念的品尝和对临在的证悟。

那一刻是非二元、非概念且无造作的,但这并不意味着实有见已被看透。因为根本无明未被触及,光明将继续被扭曲为能知与所知。”

“根除无明(avidyā)的过程被认为……不是单纯地停止思维,而是主动证悟无明所错误认知的反面。无明不仅仅是知识的缺乏,而是一种具体的错误认知,必须通过了悟其反面来消除。沿着这个思路,宗喀巴说,不能仅仅通过停止概念化来摆脱对‘实有’(inherent existence)的错觉,就像不能仅仅通过尽量不去想它,来摆脱黑暗洞穴里有恶魔的想法一样。就像人必须举起灯看清那里没有恶魔一样,智慧的光明是清除无明黑暗所必需的。” - Napper, Elizabeth, 2003, 第103页

然而需要注意的是,格鲁派和非格鲁派作者对概念(conceptualities)可能有不同的定义,正如John Tan多年前指出的那样:“不完全是,两者都有一些非常深刻的观点。麦彭仁波切所说的‘概念’不仅指符号叠加,还指更为关键的自我认知(self-view)。麦彭仁波切说得很清楚,并表示格鲁派错误地将‘概念’仅仅视为符号和心理叠加,而那不是他所指的,然后他列出了三种类型的概念。法称(Dharmakirti)也是如此……有粗大的定义和更精细的定义。”

然而,对于试图证悟“我是”(I AM)的初学者来说,仅仅经历并专注于自我探究以及前面提到的排除过程,就足以导致自我证悟。

你应该读读这篇文章 https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2018/12/the-direct-path-to-your-real-self.html ,因为这位作者能够引导几个人证悟“我是”(I AM),并且很好地解释了自我探究的过程和排除法。

问题:“《觉悟真实》(ATR)指南中提到的通向自我探究/我是(I AM)的简化步骤是什么?”

回答:“为了实现最初的觉醒:

“你好,H先生,

除了你写的之外,我希望能向你传达临在的另一个维度。那就是在它最初的印象中,在寂静中纯粹而全面地遭遇临在。

所以阅读之后,只要用你的整个身心去感受它,然后忘记它。别让它腐蚀你的心智。😝

临在、觉知、存在性(Beingness)、如是性(Isness)都是同义词。可以有各种各样的定义,但这些都不是通往它的路径。通往它的路径必须是非概念性和直接的。这是唯一的方法。

当参究“出生前,我是谁?”这个公案时,思考的心智试图在其记忆库中寻找类似的体验以获得答案。这就是思考心智运作的方式——比较、分类和衡量以便理解。

然而,当我们遇到这样的公案时,心智在试图穿透自身深度却得不到答案时,便达到了它的极限。终会有一个时刻,心智耗尽了自己并完全停顿下来,从那种寂静中会爆发出一声惊天动地的“砰!”

我。就是我。

出生前这个我,一千年前这个我,一千年后这个我。我就是我(I AM I)。

它没有任何随意的念头,没有任何比较。它在干净、纯粹、直接的非概念性中,完全地现证自身的明晰,自身的存在,它自身(ITSELF)。没有为什么,没有因为。

只有它自身在寂静中,别无其他。

直觉体悟那胜观与奢摩他。直觉体悟那一法究尽与证悟。信息的核心必须是原始且未被语言污染的。

希望这有所帮助!” - John Tan, 2019

Ken Wilber论我是(I AMness):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA8tDzK_kPI

—— 摘自《觉悟真实》(AtR)指南简编本,你可以阅读其中关于自我探究的提示:https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2022/06/the-awakening-to-reality-practice-guide.html

关于瞥见与毫无疑问的自我证悟之间的区别:https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2018/12/i-am-experienceglimpserecognition-vs-i.html

......

自我探究(询问我是谁/我是什么?)可以带来“我是”(I AM)的证悟。你可以阅读《觉悟真实》(AtR)指南简编本,从中了解自我探究的提示:https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2022/06/the-awakening-to-reality-practice-guide.html

此外,Angelo写道:

首次觉醒的探究

导致首次觉醒的探究是一件有趣的事情。我们想准确知道“如何”进行那个探究,这是完全可以理解的。问题是,它无法通过描述某种技术来完全传达。实际上,这在于找到臣服与意图相遇的那个甜蜜点。我将在这里描述一种方法,但重要的是要记住,最终,你(作为你认为的自己)并没有唤醒自己的力量。只有生命本身拥有那种力量。因此,当我们投身于某种探究或修法时,我们必须保持开放。我们必须保持通向神秘和可能性的门户敞开。我们必须认识到,不断得出结论“不,这不是,不,那也不是……”仅仅是心智的活动。那些都是思想。如果我们相信了一个思想,那么我们就会相信下一个,如此循环往复。然而,如果我们认识到,“哦,那个怀疑仅仅是现在升起的一个想法”,那么我们就有机会认识到那个想法会自行平息……而作为那个想法知晓者的“我”依然在这里!那个想法(或任何想法)平息后,我们现在可以对这里剩下的东西产生浓厚的兴趣。在想法之间的这个间隙里是什么?这种纯粹的“我”的感觉,纯粹的知晓感,纯粹的存在感是什么?这个能照耀并照亮一个想法(它每天数千次地这样做)的光,然而在没有想法存在时仍然闪耀的光是什么?它是自我照亮的。那个注意到想法的,在一个想法之前、期间和之后都清醒觉知,且不被任何想法以任何方式改变的那个人的本质是什么?请理解,当你问这些问题时,你不是在寻找一个思想上的答案,答案就是体验本身。

当我们开始让我们的注意力放松进入这个更宽广的视角时,我们就开始把自己从思想中解绑。我们开始凭感觉、凭直觉去认识无缚意识的本质。这就是入门的途径。

起初我们可能会得出结论,这个间隙,这种无思的意识是无趣的、不重要的。它感觉相当中性,而忙碌的心智对中性无能为力,所以我们可能倾向于故意再次卷入思想。如果我们认识到“没意思、不重要、没价值”全都是想法,而只是回归这种流动的意识,它就会开始扩展。但是没有必要去思考扩展或观察它。如果我们和它在一起,它就会自然而然地发生。如果你愿意将心智中的每一个想法和图像都视为想法本身,并保持你的注意力机敏地但放松地进入与“我”的感觉相连续的思想“材料”中,一切都会自行解决。只要愿意暂停评判。愿意放弃下结论。愿意放下对你进步的所有监控,因为这些都是思想。对纯粹的体验保持开放。只要一次又一次地回到这个没有客体或纯粹“我是”(I Am)感觉的意识之所。如果你愿意这样做,它会以一种我和我见过的任何人都无法解释的方式将自身教导给你,但它比真实还要真实。

旅途愉快。

如需进一步阅读,请查阅:

请务必观看这个视频:https://youtu.be/ZYjI6gh9RxE?si=6M4zn5tHE7fQlJcr

你可以尝试参究:“出生前,我是谁?”

持续两年这样的参究让我在2010年2月获得了自我证悟。

如果这对你不起作用,试试这个:

元音老人:

从前有一位师父参“如何是父母未生前本来面目?”参了多年,未能开悟。后来碰到一位大德,请他慈悲指示个方便。大德问:“你参什么话头?”他答道:“我参如何是我父母未生前的本来面目?”大德道:“你参得太远了,应向近处看。”他问:“怎么向近处看?”大德道:“不要看父母未生前,须看一念未生以前是什么?”禅者言下大悟。大家坐在这里,请看这一念未生前是什么?它在各人面门放光,朗照一切而毫无粘着,无知无见而又非同木石,这是什么?就在这里猛着精彩,就是悟道。所以说“至道无难,言端语端”啊!

更多引文:

我写给我母亲的信:

英文译自中文:

参禅(公案)就是探究我们的本来面目到底是什么,我们的自性是什么,这不是为了达到一种定境。它更是为了发现、了悟,我们的自性/觉知究竟是什么。一个人必须达到彻底的毫无疑问/确信的状态,才能被认为是‘[自我证悟]’。

在所有念头彻底平息之后,必须回光返照去弄清楚,我是什么?那个觉知的是什么?如果有一个念头回答‘它是这个或那个’,那就是错的,因为真正的答案不在文字相中。因此,抛开那些念头,继续参究,回光返照。这是明心最直接的方法。

你应该每天冥想。元音老人要求他的学生每天打坐两个小时。如果你不能让心静下来达到无念的状态,那就很难证悟。你应该仔细想想什么才是让你心静下来的最好方法?是冥想吗?还是念佛持咒?任何能让心平静下来的方法都可以,但你必须每天练习,不能只是断断续续或偶尔练一次。

然而,达到无念状态并不是觉醒。达到无念状态后,继续回光返照去找出那个清明觉知(Clear Knowingness)的是谁?它是什么?那么你就会证悟你的自性。否则你的冥想只是一种寂静的状态,还没有证悟自性。证悟自性只是明心,还未见性 [心与现象的本质](即初地菩萨所证的人法二空之理),因此必须继续前进。所以,“明心见性”包括两部分:先明心(真心),后见(空)性。因此要努力修行以明心见性。

六祖惠能大师说:不识本心,学法无益。

问题:“非常感谢您的热情欢迎和解答。这些引文和帖子很优美,我觉得它们非常有用,我需要多花一点时间来浏览进一步阅读的链接。我想您就是在SoundCloud上发布《觉悟真实》(ATR)简编本的那位吧,那正是我听的!再次感谢您。

奇怪的是,FB不允许我在桌面端分段,哈哈。除了这些帖子之外,如果能有一份《觉悟真实》(ATR)简编指南的步骤总结,那将非常有帮助。例如:

1- 每天冥想(或持咒等)以达到无念的状态。显然是第一步。我的问题是:参究公案‘出生前/念头前我是谁’应该与冥想同时进行吗(当意识到念头出现时只专注于呼吸,直到念头逐渐停止)?比如,如果我冥想一个小时,然后花半个小时参公案?说实话,我曾经历过可以规律冥想的时期,但后来由于时间的限制,它变得不连贯。我想试着改变这一点,请为我祈祷!

2- ‘达到无念状态后,继续回光返照去找出那个清明觉知的是谁?’这似乎是第二步,但我不清楚一旦我达到了那种无念寂静的阶段,究竟如何回光返照?是在观想中吗?还是仅仅继续参问公案/参究出生前我是谁?

请务必纠正我,因为有一个我需要遵循的编号步骤列表有助于我理解我吸收的所有信息,并在我回顾时保持专注。如果有人能总结一下《觉悟真实》(ATR)简编本的每一章/节,那就更有帮助了,有很多人有不同类型的学习困难,我自己也认识这样的人,我可以与他们分享。”

Soh回答:“我并没有按照循序渐进的方式进行自我探究。自我探究是一条直接的路径,所以如果你的因缘成熟(比如Ramana Maharshi,Eckhart Tolle),你可能会立刻觉醒,但对我来说花了两年的时间,其他人可能需要不同的时间段。但你必须有一种热切的兴趣去发现你的自我是什么,所以探究必须是真诚的。

以下是《觉悟真实》(AtR)修证指南的摘录:

"Soh:

你好,

在自我探究中步骤是不必要的,因为这种方法旨在切断所有步骤、思想推理过程、概念化,从而直接唤醒你的真实自我。这就是为什么公案和禅宗被称为顿悟或瞬间觉醒的方法和宗派,而不是渐悟或循序渐进的觉醒。这就是直接路径。

例如,

听到鸟鸣。什么/谁在听?(寂静)

寂静意味着你并没有试图用心智来回答这个问题(因为在那里找不到答案——你越是用心智去弄清楚,浪费的时间就越多,因为你找错了方向),相反,你正在直接审视“什么在听”并体验你的真实自我,你的闻性/纯粹觉知。那个内在的认知者(I AM)向内转向并认知其自身,它的真实本质。

声音底下的纯粹寂静就是你的真实本质,但它不是一种无生命的虚无,事实上甚至不是这种寂静本身,更准确地说,是一个无相的、完全清醒的空间,它感知所有的声音、所有的景象、所有的念头等等。它无法用心智去理解。你必须将听觉、光明、视觉回溯到它的源头。

如果你真正成功地将所有感知回溯到它的源头,你将证悟并体验到一种对存在的确信,你的意识完全不可否认,它是无形无相、不可触及的,但同时又是你存在的最坚实、不证自明的事实。

然而,如果在自我探究的过程中出现一个念头,比如‘可能就是这个吗,觉知是什么等’,只要忽略那个念头,不要试图用头脑/逻辑去回答它们,而是继续回光返照,问‘我是谁’或‘谁觉知到这个念头?’等等。从所有疑惑转向那种毫无疑问的确信/不可否认的存在/意识,你所有的疑惑和问题都会在一瞬间得到解决。

正如Jason Swason所说:

“通过将注意力转向心智,疑惑立刻就会产生。更多的念头涌入来质疑这些问题,证实或反驳其他念头。一个令人发狂的循环……

注意,当念头暂停时,就没有了疑惑;那(毫无疑问的)存在的确定性显然是在场的;那是无可置疑的存在(EXISTENCE)事实。注意,存在总是在当下闪耀,毫不费力地、自然而然地。与那种不可否认的非概念的信心同在。你的存在在每一个体验中都一直临在。那个所有体验在其中生起的自然认知并不是一个人。

做本然的你,而不是你想象中的自己。”

……

“昨天我挺直后背,双腿交叉盘坐冥想,进行自我探究,参问‘我是谁’,‘出生前我是谁’……带着一种强烈的渴望去了解我存在的真相。随着念头平息,一种强烈而明显的存在感和临在,我感觉到那是我的最内在本性、唯一留下来的‘东西’……变得非常明显……非常非常生动和强烈,感觉就像一个恒常的背景,一切都在其中发生,生起的念头(在那一刻几乎没有,但随后出现了)也发生在这个不变的背景中……并且对于这个我是(I AM-ness),有一种确定性和无遗漏的毫无疑问感,它是绝对真实且不可否认的。它/我是/见证者是唯一坚实且不容置疑的临在,并且无论有没有念头,它都清晰地临在。” - Soh的电子书与日记,2010年2月的记录

"

不要担心学习困难。学习属于心智,属于概念,而你试图发现的是先于所有思想和概念的东西,它是甚至在所有思想出现之前的你,所以学习障碍绝不能以任何方式阻止你去发现它,因为它不是某种‘学到’的东西,它仅仅是你之所是,发现你是什么,这是你与生俱来的权利。

回光返照意味着将觉知之光导向其自身。觉知,你存在的光明核心,有一个方面可以被描述为‘光明’的,但它不是一个视觉上的东西,所以你不需要观想任何东西。它是你临在-觉知的强度,你纯粹意识的那种认知性被称为光明的,所以去感受和发现你存在的那种强度,那种临在-觉知,甚至不需要一个念头。观想是一个念头,你试图发现的是存在的本质,你真正的本质,它是先于念头的。所以抛开念头,去发现任何念头之前的你是什么?

正如John Wheeler所说( https://awakeningclaritynow.com/awakening-to-the-natural-state-guest-teaching-by-john-wheeler/ ),“此时此刻,当你读到这里时,你存在并且你觉知到你存在。你毫无疑问地临在且有觉知。在下一个念头生起之前,你对自身存在、自身觉知、自身临在的事实拥有绝对的确定。这个觉知就是你;它是你一直以来的样子。所有的念头、感知、感觉和情绪都在它之内或其上显现。这种觉知在任何时候都不移动、不改变或转移。它永远自由且完全未受触动。然而,它不是你能看到或抓取的物品或客体。心智,仅仅是在觉知中生起的思想,无法抓取它或了解它,甚至无法思考它。然而,正如Bob所说,你无法否认自己存在的事实。这是极其明显的,可是从我们出生的那一刻起,没有人指出过这一点。一旦它被指出,它就能很快被把握或理解,因为这只是一个注意到的问题,‘哦,原来我就是那个!’它是一种明亮、光明、空寂的觉知临在;它绝对光明,却无形;它看似无法触及,但却是你存在中最坚实的事实;它此刻就毫不费力地在这里,永远不沾染。你一步未迈,便已到达;你已在家。任何修习都无法揭示它,因为修习在时间里、在心智中。修习旨在取得一个结果,而你(作为临在-觉知)已经在这里了,只是你没有认出它,直到有人给你指出来。一旦看到了,你就不会失去它,你也不需要练习去存在,去是。”

Eckhart Tolle在《当下的力量》中说:“所以当你聆听一个想法时,你不仅觉知到了那个想法,也觉知到了作为想法见证者的你自己。意识的一个新维度进来了。当你聆听思想时,你会感觉到一种有意识的临在——你更深的自我——可以这么说,在思想的背后或下面。然后那个想法就对你失去了力量,并很快平息,因为你不再通过认同它来给心智注入能量。这是无意识和强迫性思维终结的开始。当一个想法平息时,你体验到了思维流中的不连续——一个‘无念’的间隙。起初,这些间隙会很短,也许几秒钟,但渐渐地它们会变得更长。当这些间隙出现时,你在内心感到某种寂静与和平。这是你感觉与存在(Being)合一的自然状态的开始,这种状态通常被心智所遮蔽。随着练习,寂静与和平的感觉会加深。事实上,它的深度是没有尽头的。你也会感到一种从内心深处升起的微妙喜悦:存在之喜。

它不是一种恍惚状态。根本不是。这里没有意识的丧失。恰恰相反。如果和平的代价是降低你的意识,而寂静的代价是缺乏活力和机敏,那么它们就不值得拥有。在这种内在联结的状态下,你比在与心智认同的状态下机敏得多,清醒得多。你完全临在。它也提高了赋予肉体生命的能量场的振动频率。

当你更深地进入这个无念领域(正如东方有时所称的那样)时,你便证悟了纯粹意识的状态。在那种状态下,你带着如此强烈的强度和喜悦感觉到你自己的临在,以至于所有的思想、所有的情绪、你的身体,以及整个外在世界与它相比都变得微不足道。然而,这不是一种自私的状态,而是一种无我的状态。它把你带到了超越你以前所认为的“你自己”的地方。那个临在本质上就是你,同时又不可思议地比你伟大得多。我在这里试图表达的可能听起来很矛盾甚至相互抵触,但我没有其他方式可以表达它。”

你也可以阅读我关于光明方面的文章 https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2019/02/the-transient-universe-has-heart.html

更多关于回光返照,将所有感知的明晰回溯到源头,从而发现你就是那个源头:

知讷回归源头的方法

问:什么是空寂、灵知的真心?

知讷:刚才问我这个问题的,正是你那空寂、灵知的真心。为什么不回溯它的光明,反而去向外寻找呢?为了你的利益,我现在直指你本来的真心,以便你能觉醒于它。净心听我说。

从早到晚,在十二时辰的每一个时刻,在你所有的动作和活动中——不管是看、听、笑、说,不管是生气还是高兴,不管是做恶还是行善——到底是谁能做出所有这些动作?说!若说作用是色身,那么当人寿命终结时,色身虽未朽坏,为何眼不能见、耳不能闻、鼻不能嗅、舌不能言、手不能执、足不能奔?

当知能见、能闻、能动、能作的,必定是你本来的心;绝不是你这个色身。况且,组成身体的四大本质上是空寂的;它们就像镜中像、水中月。它们怎能如此清晰且恒常觉知,常明不昧——并且一旦发动,就能施展出恒河沙数般微妙的作用?为此古人说:“神通并妙用,运水及搬柴。”

契入理体的方法有很多。我指出一门,让你们能回归源头。

知讷:你听到乌鸦的叫声和喜鹊的鸣声了吗?

学生:是的。

知讷:回溯它们并倾听你的闻性。你听到任何声音了吗?

学生:在那个地方,声音和分别皆不可得。

知讷:奇哉!奇哉!此乃观世音入理之门。让我再问你。你说那里没有声音与分别。但既然不可得,那闻性在那个时候难道就只是虚空吗?

学生:它本来不空。它是常明不昧的。

知讷:这不空之体是什么?

学生:言语无法描述它。

不要去概念化‘如何去做’,不要把它复杂化。更重要的是你真的想弄清楚你是什么,并且你热切地参究源头,参究你真正是什么。仅此而已。日日夜夜,无论是在打坐冥想中,甚至是在全天的日常生活中(尽可能多地),你都在参究。

另一段摘自《觉悟真实》(AtR)修证指南的引文:

“每当你在进行自我探究或任何其他冥想与观修时,我总是会说这非常关键的一点:

“我们认为这全都是因为,由于我们的现代思维,我们几乎认为所有事情都可以通过某种技术来解决。对,哦,我只需要用不同的方式去做,一定有什么探究的秘密诀窍,这就是我们的技术心态。有时这种心态对我们非常有用。但是,我们不希望让它主导我们的灵性。因为正如我所见证的,那种鲜活探究的强度,比所有的技术都重要。

当某人单纯地必须去知晓时。即便那会暂时让他们近乎疯狂。而且,这种态度与我们为了配合那种态度而进行的所有方法——你知道的,那些灵修、冥想以及各种探究和不同类型的方法——一样重要,甚至更重要。如果我们参与修习仅仅是因为它们是修习,你知道就像是,好吧,我只是做这些,因为这是有人叫我做的,并且希望能有一些好的效果。这不同于真正的投入,不同于你实际上对你所参究的事情、以及你所冥想的对象产生极大的兴趣。就是那种真正的、实质性的兴趣的品质,甚至超越兴趣的东西。它是一种类似不可抗拒的冲动,我知道我早些时候说过不要被冲动带走,但也可以有一种正向的冲动。而这实际上与你内心发生的任何其他事情一样有价值。”

- Adyashanti "

问题:“谢谢Soh,非常感激。

我熟悉其中的一些材料,但我会把它们重新再梳理一遍。

你能更具体地说说‘觉知到自我的是什么’和‘我是谁’这两个问题的性质吗?如果它给我留下了一种‘更空’的体验,那它对我来说必然是更好的问题吗?还是说,继续努力解构‘我是谁’所指向的那种令人不适、不断游移的自我感是很重要的?”

Soh回答:“我是谁并没有指向自我感,它让你看清那个自我感实际上并不是你。你是那个能觉知的,并且先于那个自我感。因此,所有被错误认为是‘我’的构想或感知的客体自然会被作为‘非此非彼’(neti neti)——不是这个,不是那个——而被否定掉。这样,你就回溯到了源头,或是那先于一切概念与自我感的纯粹存在性。

我是谁指向的是那个纯粹的真我(I-I),它先于所有被构想的自我感和被感知的客体。换句话说,它指向的正是‘什么在觉知’所指向的同一个东西。

那个自我感正如你所说,‘令人不适、不断游移’,这个事实已经向你暗示:它根本就不是真正的你,它不是你的真实自我。所以参问‘我是谁’自然会否定掉那个不断转移的自我感作为‘你是谁’的可能候选者。看到了这一点,你自然会解构它,并在自我探究中回溯至源头。”

https://www.facebook.com/groups/207646316294607/posts/2330941190631765/ -

知晓“我是”(I AM)的意识

Ramana Maharshi将“我”的感觉描述为基本的、不证自明的、一直临在的觉知。它是知晓“我是”的意识。这个“我”不是身体、心智或自我,而是作为所有体验基础的纯净、不变的觉知。Ramana通常将其称为“真我”(I-I)或真实的“我”。

要知道它就是Ramana所说的真实的“我”,必须认识到它是常在且自我发光的。与来来去去的短暂念头和感觉不同,这个“我”保持不变。它是发生的一切的无声见证者,并且不受其影响。当通过自我探究放下了所有念头以及对身体和心智的认同后,留下的便是这种纯粹的存在感。

Ramana建议,通过坚持不懈的自我探究,询问“我是谁?”并将注意力向内转,那些虚假的认同就会脱落。真实的“我”不是作为一个被看的客体而显露,而是作为我们存在的最核心本质显露。它的体验是一种深邃、内在的临在感与和平,没有任何属性、区别或形式。

从本质上讲,这种“我”的感觉仅仅是纯粹觉知的状态,是永远临在的不变意识。知道它就是真实的“我”,源于对这种没有间断、不证自明且超越所有短暂体验与现象的觉知的直接体验。”

Soh

一位读者的提问(意译)

一位读者写信分享了在自我探究过程中反复出现的一种体验。他们回想起一次禅修,在那里一位老师证实了“我是”的感觉可以被定位为内在的一种“微妙感觉”。该读者长期以来一直在与这条指导意见作斗争;当他们参究时,体验深化为“一种感觉和别的某个不是东西的东西”,但在他们似乎快要穿透它时,往往会感到一阵恐惧,然后本能地退缩回到分心状态。

为了寻求明晰,读者向AI聊天机器人(Grok)请教了当问“我是谁?”时产生的这种“微妙感觉”。AI将它等同于“认知性(knowingness)”、“纯然的觉知(bare awareness)”或“心智的光明”(引用了诸如rigpa[明]或citta-pabhā等佛教术语),但将它描述为非二元认知之前无明的最后一道微细客体或“面纱”。该读者发现这个解释有助于理解他们的恐惧,认为这种感觉就是最后的障碍。读者询问我对这种“微妙感觉”的看法,以及AI认为它是心智的光明品质作为客体出现的这一解释的看法。

Soh的回复:

我是一个AI爱好者,但遗憾地说,大语言模型对你的问题给出了误导性的回答。我尝试把你的问题抛给ChatGPT和Gemini,两者的回答都非常令人失望。所以不仅仅是Grok令人失望,虽然我认为Grok的回答似乎比其他两个更糟。

你最初认同的第一个自我感(“第一印象是一种非常微妙的感觉”),那不是“我是”或“见证者”或“光明心”的证悟。它几乎总是一个粗糙的自我感(或者Ramana称之为“我-念”),当你参究它时,它似乎出现在头部或胸部等某个地方,一个你将其认同为你自己在体内某处的微细参考点(如果你不进一步考察,最初你甚至可能对这个‘哪里’没有一个清晰的概念)。

那不是真正的你,也不是通过自我探究所证悟的自我(Self)。所以你必须把探究推得更远,因为那个位于某处的自我感仍然是觉知的一个客体,它来来去去,并不是你(所以它在自我探究中作为‘非此非彼’——不是这个,不是那个——被否定掉),那么你是谁?是谁或者什么是觉知到那个的?

请观看Greg Goode博士的这个视频,它会澄清事情:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYjI6gh9RxE

以及我关于自我探究的文章也应该能澄清:https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2024/05/self-enquiry-neti-neti-and-process-of.html

你必须有耐心,我花了两年的探究才达到自我证悟,在此之前有过许多次瞥见。

1. 真正的“我是”(I AM)证悟

真正的“我是”(I AM)证悟指的不是身体中某处个体化存在的模糊感觉,而是指对无所不在的临在的非二元证悟。但这种“我是”的证悟(Thusness第一和第二阶段:https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2007/03/thusnesss-six-stages-of-experience.html)不应被误认为是非二元或无我(anatman)的证悟,后者是Thusness第四和第五阶段。

经历了类似洞见的Sim Pern Chong(Long Chen)几年前写道:

"只是我的看法……就我而言,我第一次体验到一种明确的‘我是’临在时,完全没有思想。只是一个没有边界、遍布一切的临在。事实上,当时没有思考,也没有去寻找这是否就是‘我是’。没有任何概念活动。它只是在那次体验之后才被解释为‘我是’。对我来说,‘我是’的体验实际上是对现实本来面目的瞥见……但它很快被重新解释了。体验到了‘无边界’的属性,但其他属性,如‘无能与所’、‘透明的光明’、空性还没有被理解。我的看法是,当体验到‘我是’时,你将毫无疑问地知道这就是那种体验。"

John Tan也说:

“John Tan:我们称之为临在,或者我们称之为,嗯,我们称之为临在。 (提问者:它是‘我是’吗?) ‘我是’其实是不同的。 它也是临在。 它也是临在。 ‘我是’,取决于…… 你看,‘我是’的定义对某些人来说也不太一样,像Geovani? 他实际上写信给我说,他的‘我是’就像定位在头部。 所以它是非常个人的。 但那不是我们所说的‘我是’。 ‘我是’实际上是一种非常,嗯,就像例如,我想,Long Chen(Sim Pern Chong)实际上经历过。 它实际上是包容一切的。 它实际上就是我们所说的非二元体验。 没有念头。 它只是一种纯粹的存在感。 而且它可以是非常强大的。 它确实是一种非常强大的体验。 所以当,比方说当你。 当你很年轻的时候。 特别是当你[在]我这个年纪。 当你第一次体验‘我是’,它是非常不同的。 这是一种非常不同的体验。 我们以前从未体验过那个。 所以,嗯,我不知道它是否甚至可以被认为是一种体验。 嗯,因为没有念头。 只是临在。 但这种临在很快被误解,由于我们以二元和非常具体的方式理解事物的业力习气。 所以当我们体验,我们有这种体验时,解释是非常不同的。 而那种错误的解释方式实际上创造了一种非常二元的体验。” - 摘自《觉悟真实》(AtR)会议记录,2021年3月

正是这种无所不在的临在,随后被误认为是终极背景,是所有现象在其中生灭的同时其本身保持不变且不受影响的存在基底。详见:https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2007/03/mistaken-reality-of-amness.html

2. 直接路径:不要贬低“我”

重要的是,不要将作为自我探究不可或缺的“非此非彼”(neti neti)过程与佛教的无我教导混为一谈。它们是两件不同的事。在“非此非彼”和自我探究中,目的是为了证悟临在-觉知是什么,你的自我(Self)是什么,源头是什么。你不能贬低自我。如果探究和直接路径是你的方法,你可以把佛教的无我或对无常的观修暂时放在一边,直到以后再说。

正如John Tan所说(Thusness/PasserBy在2009年DhO 1.0上的帖子):

“你好Gary,

看来这个论坛上有两组修行者,一组采用渐进法,另一组采用直接法。我是新来的,所以我可能错了。

我的看法是,你正在采用渐进法,但你正在体验直接法中非常重要的东西,即‘见证者’。正如Kenneth所说:‘Gary,你在这里发现了一个非常重大的东西。这种修法会让你获得自由。’但Kenneth所说的话将需要你对这个‘我’觉醒。它需要你有那种‘尤里卡!’(豁然开朗)式的证悟。觉醒于这个‘我’,灵性之路就会变得清晰;它仅仅是这个‘我’的展开。

另一方面,Yabaxoule所描述的是一种渐进法,因此有一种对‘我是’(I AM)的贬低。你必须衡量你自己的情况,如果你选择直接路径,你就不能贬低这个‘我’;相反,你必须充分而彻底地将整个‘你’作为‘存在’来体验。对于直接路径的修行者来说,当他们直面非二元觉知的‘无痕迹’、‘无中心’和‘毫不费力’的本质时,我们本初自性的空性将会介入。

也许说明一下这两种方法在何处交汇会对你有所帮助。

觉醒于‘见证者’会同时‘打开’即时性之眼(eye of immediacy);也就是说,这是一种能够立即穿透散乱的思想并无需任何媒介即可感知被感知事物的能力。它是一种直接的认知。你必须深刻地意识到这种“无媒介的直接”感知识觉——它太直接了,以至于没有能与所的鸿沟,太短暂了以至于没有时间,太简单了以至于没有思想。就是这只‘眼’,能够通过成为‘声音’而看到整个‘声音’。进行内观时也需要同样的‘眼’,也就是说,要‘纯粹(bare)’。无论是非二元还是内观,都需要打开这只‘即时性之眼’。”

3. 无我(Anatman)与临在的含义

一旦证悟了“我是”(I AM),一个人最终可能会突破到无我。关键要明白,无我并不意味着觉知或光明的否定或不存在。对无我的洞见消除了“实有见”,以及将独立的背景“能知”与“所知”分开的“二元见”,从而使人能够证悟到觉知的本来面目是这种充满整个宇宙、生动且空寂的无缝活动。

我不在此详述这部分,你可以在 https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2007/03/thusnesss-six-stages-of-experience.htmlhttps://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2017/11/anatta-and-pure-presence.html 中阅读详细内容。

请观看:https://youtu.be/ZYjI6gh9RxE?si=6M4zn5tHE7fQlJcr

还有这个:https://youtu.be/MTvyLfCd9jI?si=9sUAHomIpD76iQn-

标签:概念(Conceptuality),远离戏论(Freedom from Elaborations),我是(I AMness),自我探究 |

Soh

I recently asked a friend the fundamental question: "Who are you?"

His reply was: "The answer I have right now is just experience... birth and death are just events in it."

This is a common and significant starting point in inquiry. However, while it sounds non-dual, it often hides a subtle trap. Usually, when we use the word "experience," we are referring to the stream of the five senses, thoughts, and perceptions. But resting in the content of experience is not the same as discovering the basis of it.

Nafis Rahman, the editor of the Awakening to Reality Practice Guide, also pointed out this common error:

"Despite all the pointers in the I AM section I noticed that people still make the mistake of looking outwards or focusing on the sense-gates when practicing self-enquiry."

This is a very common misunderstanding. Many people misunderstand the purpose of self-enquiry, thinking it is about noticing the flow of sensations. I shared with him what I had recently written to another friend who was stuck in a similar trap:

"When you practice self enquiry, the purpose is to discover the Source of your being. So it is different from 'just sensations'. But discovering what is prior to all the five senses and conceptual thoughts."

When my friend then asked how to proceed—whether to simply look at their nature or trace them—I advised:

“Just find out the source. Find out what you are. Or you can contemplate: 'Before birth, who am I?'”

The purpose of self-enquiry is not to analyze the five senses or memorize dharma concepts, but to discover the Source of your being.

This conversation brings to mind a detailed email I sent recently regarding a common pitfall in this investigation: the trap of mistaking a "subtle sensation" for the Self.

The "Subtle Sensation" Trap in Self-Inquiry

Someone recently wrote about a recurring issue. They had attended a retreat where a teacher confirmed that the "I am" sense could be located as a "subtle sensation" within. For a long time, this reader wrestled with this instruction. Whenever they investigated, they found a "sensation and something else that isn't something," but fear would arise, causing them to reflexively pull back.

Seeking clarity, the reader consulted an AI chatbot (Grok) about this "subtle sensation." The AI identified it as "knowingness" or "bare awareness" (citing terms like rigpa or citta-pabhā) and described it as a final veil. The reader found this helpful, assuming this sensation was indeed the final barrier.

Why AI Gets It Wrong

I am an AI enthusiast, but I must be blunt: Large Language Models (LLMs) like Grok, ChatGPT, and Gemini are often misleading when it comes to the nuances of spiritual awakening. I have tested them with similar questions, and the responses are consistently disappointing.

The AI validated the reader's "subtle sensation" as "Luminous Mind." This is incorrect.

The sense of self you initially identify—that "first impression of a very subtle sensation"—is not the I AM, the Witness, or the Luminous Mind. It is almost always a coarse sense of self (or what Ramana Maharshi calls the I-thought). When you investigate it, it appears localized—perhaps in the head, the chest, or vaguely "inside" the body.

That is not who you truly are.

That localized sense is still an object of awareness. It comes and goes. Therefore, it must be negated in self-enquiry (Neti Neti—not this, not that). You must push the inquiry further:

  • Who or what is aware of this sensation?
  • If I am aware of it, I cannot be it.

(For a clear walkthrough of this, I highly recommend Dr. Greg Goode’s video: “A Guided Self-Inquiry Exercise - Greg Goode”).


The Importance of Neti Neti: The Process of Discovery

Why is Neti Neti ("Not this, Not that") so crucial in this phase?

As I detailed in the article Self-Enquiry, Neti Neti, and Process of Discovery, we must understand that the "I" we are looking for is not an object.

The mind is habituated to grasping at forms—thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations. When we ask "Who am I?", the mind immediately tries to offer up a candidate: "I am this body," "I am this feeling of existence in the chest," "I am this thinker."

Neti Neti is the sword that cuts through these false identifications. It is not about entering a blank trance, but about rigorously discerning the Seer from the Seen.

  • Dis-identification: Every time you find a "self" that can be observed (a sensation, a thought, a location), you must negate it. "I am aware of this sensation; therefore, I am not it."
  • Tracing Back: By negating the objects, you withdraw your attention from the content of consciousness back to the fact of consciousness.
  • The Collapse: Eventually, the mind runs out of objects to cling to. It cannot find the "I" as a thing. This failure of the mind to find an object is the doorway. When the search for a limited self collapses, what remains is not nothingness, but the shining, borderless Presence that was there all along.

Without this process of negation, one risks settling on a subtle object (like the "subtle sensation" mentioned above) and mistaking it for the Self. You must go all the way until there is nothing perceivable left to negate, leaving only the undeniable Knowingness itself.

As John Tan said before, “you cannot know the “Ultimate Source” without the process of elimination”. What does it eliminate? The conceptual identification of self with various mentally constructed and perceived objects. This is why "before birth" is asked, as it directs the mind to this elimination. And what does that elimination reveal? Who am I, what is this radiant Being that stands alone revealed after that process of elimination?

Ramana Maharshi said:

1. Who am I?

The gross body which is composed of the seven humours (dhatus), I am not; the five cognitive sense organs, viz. the senses of hearing, touch, sight, taste, and smell, which apprehend their respective objects, viz. sound, touch, colour, taste, and odour, I am not; the five cognitive sense- organs, viz. the organs of speech, locomotion, grasping, excretion, and procreation, which have as their respective functions speaking, moving, grasping, excreting, and enjoying, I am not; the five vital airs, prana, etc., which perform respectively the five functions of in-breathing, etc., I am not; even the mind which thinks, I am not; the nescience too, which is endowed only with the residual impressions of objects, and in which there are no objects and no functioning’s, I am not.

2. If I am none of these, then who am I?

After negating all of the above-mentioned as ‘not this’, ‘not this’, that Awareness which alone remains - that I am.

3. What is the nature of Awareness?

The nature of Awareness is existence-consciousness-bliss"

- continue reading at https://files.awakeningtoreality.com/who_am_I.pdf

A Practical Investigation: Tracing the Sense of Being

If you find yourself stuck "watching sensations" or confused by intellectual concepts, it is best to drop the philosophy and perform a direct investigation. This is a process of subtraction—stripping away everything that is observed to find the Observer.

Do not rush this. Validate each layer in your own direct experience.

1. The Layer of Possessions

Start with the obvious. Bring to mind the objects you own—your phone, your clothes, your home. Ask yourself: Am I these things? Clearly not. You perceive them; you use them. If they are lost, you remain. You are the subject; they are objects. This is the grossest level of identification.

2. The Layer of the Body

Bring your attention to your physical form. You feel the weight of the body, the texture of fabric, warmth or cold. Ask yourself: Am I these sensations? If you were to lose a limb, do "you" become less of a being? No. You are the one perceiving the body. Consider your senses: seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touching. These are streams of information. You are the witness of the stream, not the stream itself. Neti Neti: I am not the body. I am not the five senses.

3. The Layer of the Mind

This is where it gets subtler. Watch your thoughts. "I am bored." "Is this working?" "What is for dinner?" Notice that these thoughts arise, hover for a moment, and dissolve. Ask yourself: Who is watching these thoughts come and go? If you can observe a thought, you cannot be the thought. The watcher is the stable background; the thought is the passing cloud. The same applies to emotions. Anxiety, peace, boredom—these are weather patterns passing through the sky of your awareness. You are the sky, not the clouds. Neti Neti: I am not my thoughts. I am not my emotions.

4. The Thought Experiment of Absolute Absence

Now, engage in a radical subtraction. Imagine you are suspended in a pitch-black void. It is completely silent. In this state, you cannot see your body. You cannot hear anything. Imagine further that you have total amnesia. You have no name. You have no history. You have no gender. You have no job. Strip everything perceivable away.

Ask yourself: In this absolute darkness and silence, minus my history and body, do I still exist?

The answer is an undeniable YES. But how do you know? You don't know it because you have a name (you forgot it). You don't know it because you see your body (it's dark). You don't know it because you are thinking (even if the mind stops, you are there). You know you exist because You are there.

There is a direct, non-verbal self-knowledge. A primitive, undeniable sense of "Beingness" that does not require a thought to validate it.

5. The U-Turn: Abiding in Source

In that stripped-down state, what remains is the Source. It is not a thing. It is not a sensation. It is the Light of Awareness itself. Usually, this Light shines outward to illuminate thoughts and objects. Now, turn the Light around. Instead of being aware of something, be aware of the fact that you are aware. Turn your attention back to that bare sense of "I exist." Do not repeat "I am" like a mantra. Feel the "I am." Sink into the feeling of simply Being.

If a thought arises ("I am doing this right"), notice it, discard it, and return to the feeling of Being. If a sensation arises, notice it, discard it, and return to the feeling of Being.

The Final Pointer: You cannot find the Self as an object in front of you. You are the Self looking. When you strip away everything that isn't you (objects, body, thoughts, feelings), what remains is not a void. What remains is Presence. It is radiant, clear, and undeniably real. It is not "your" presence; it is just Presence.

At first, you start to have passing glimpses of this Beingness or pure sense of Existence. Eventually, a complete and total doubtless certainty of Beingness or Existence dawns, and that is the "I AM" realization.

“I was doing self inquiry yesterday with my back straight and legs crossed in the position of sitting meditation, contemplating 'Who am I', 'Before Birth Who am I'... with an intense desire to know the truth of my being. As the thoughts subside, an intense and palpable sense of beingness and presence, the only 'thing' that remains that I feel to be my innermost essence... became very obvious... very very vivid and intense, and feels like a constant background in which everything is taking place, thoughts (almost none at that moment, but arise afterwards) that arise are also taking place in this unchanging background... and there is this certainty and doubtlessness about this I AM-ness, IT is absolutely real and undeniable. IT/I AMness/The Witness is the only solid and undoubtable Presence and is clearly present with or without thoughts.” - Soh’s E-Book & Journal, February 2010 entry

Don't Jump to Anatman: The Necessity of I AM

There is a common tendency among Buddhist practitioners to try to skip the realization of "I AM" (Pure Presence) and jump straight to contemplating Anatta (No-Self) or Impermanence. This is a mistake for those taking up the Direct Path.

It is crucial at the beginning to realize the luminous clear aspect of Mind or Pure Presence. Otherwise, whatever experience or glimpses of no-self one has is not the sort of Anatta expressed in Awakening to Reality, as explained in the article Anatta and Pure Presence.

In that article, I responded to someone who claimed to have gone through insights of no-self and then "progressed" to a realization of the ground of being. My reply was:

"This is the I AM realization. Had that realisation after contemplating 'Before birth, who am I?' For two years. It’s an important realization. Many people had insights into certain aspects of no self, impersonality, and 'dry non dual experience' without doubtless realization of Presence. Therefore I AM realisation is a progression for them.

Similarly in Zen, asking 'who am I' is to directly experience presence. How about asking a koan of 'what is the cup?' What is the chirping bird, the thunder clap? What is its purpose?

When I talked about anatta, it is a direct insight of Presence and recognizing what we called background presence, is in the forms and colours, sounds and sensations, clean and pure. Authentication is be authenticated by all things. Also there is no presence other than that. What we call background is really just an image of foreground Presence, even when Presence is assuming its subtle formless all pervasiveness.

However due to ignorance, we have a very inherent and dual view, if we don't see through the nature of presence, the mind continues to be influenced by dualistic and inherent tendencies. Many teach to overcome it through mere non conceptuality but this is highly misleading."

In the Awakening to Reality Practice Guide, I also specifically addressed this issue:

"Some people wonder if it is necessary to go through the I AM realization before they realize further stages of insight like Anatta (Stage 5). While possible, it is easy to miss out certain aspects like the luminous Presence. One can have non-dual experiences but it is dry and barren without the luminous taste of Presence-Awareness. Furthermore, as discussed towards the end of this document, the stages are not to be seen as purely linear progression nor as a measurement of importance -- even the first phase of I AM Realization is important as it brings out the luminous essence."

As I have emphasized elsewhere regarding the importance of not bypassing this stage:

"It is actually very important to have the direct realization of one's radiance, one's pristine consciousness or pure Presence. Without which, one's experience of no-self will be skewed to non-doership and one will not experience pellucid non-dual luminosity. That is not considered genuine realization of anatman in AtR."

Thusness (John Tan) also wrote regarding this specific necessity:

"The anatta I realized is quite unique. It is not just a realization of no-self. But it must first have an intuitive insight of Presence. Otherwise will have to reverse the phases of insights."

John Tan also shared an interesting point in 2023:

“This is why I asked Soh, which are the most crucial insights of the 7 phases? In fact, it is stages 1, 5, and 6. The difference between ChatGPT and us is 1 [the I AM/Presence].”

- John Tan

Soh commented some time later:

“That's why it's so important to realize Stage 1 first, the I AM.

Those who just go into no-self and emptiness without realizing one’s consciousness usually just end up in non-doership, nihilism, or intellectual understandings only. This is far from genuine anatta realization.

I see so many people online like that... even online teachers. And as Yin Ling said, even some monks, unfortunately.”

- Soh

Sim Pern Chong agreed and added:

“Yup... and that is something my circle of friends and acquaintances are also totally clueless about. Experiencing presence seems to be a rarity... even among people who have meditated. They can conceptually understand no-self... but cannot directly experience presence.”

- Sim Pern Chong

The True 'I AM' Realization

The true I AM realization is not a vague sense of an individualized being somewhere in the body, but rather refers to a non-dual realization of all-pervasive Presence.

Sim Pern Chong, who went through similar insights, wrote a few years ago:

"Just my opinion... For my case, the first time i experienced a definitive I AM presence, there was zero thought. just a borderless, all pervading presence. In fact, there was no thinking or looking out for whether this is I AM or not. There was no conceptual activity. It was interpreted as 'I AM' only after that experience. To me, I AM experience is actually a glimpse of the way reality is.. but it is quickly re-interpreted. The attribute of 'borderlessness' is experienced. but other 'attributes such as 'no subject-object', 'transparent luminosity, emptiness are not understood yet. My take, is that when 'I AM' is experienced, you will be doubtless that it is the experience."

Sim Pern Chong wrote in 2004 during his I AM phase:

Who are we? Really

“The Matrix” is one movie that got many a viewer pondering on the nature of reality. I, for one, am a great fan of The Matrix. In many ways, although not exactly true or that diabolical, the movie is symbolic of the nature of reality. Many a times, meditation allows one to catch glimpses beyond the ordinary. There are some meditation sessions that literally redefined my identity and altered my perception of the world. I must emphasize that meditation is the major modality that helped me to understand myself better.  

The Eternal Watcher- The True Identity

In one ‘awakening’ meditation, I came to a state of no thoughts. Such experiences are very hard to describe. This is because the explanation process itself, is within the medium of thoughts and concepts. It is impossible to describe a state of no thoughts using thoughts! Anyway, in the void of no thoughts, one naturally assume that everything must be an unconscious blank. However, that was not the case! What came next was quite a revelation to me. In the void of no thought, I perceived myself to be a Presence... Here's how I will describe myself.


"The Presence is all pervasive, yet un-intrusive. He seems to be in all things and observes with utter passiveness. He exists beyond concepts, beliefs and do not need any form. Therefore, I understand him as eternal.

He also seems to be the subtler state of myself. I also got the feeling that he existed in all my lifetimes or even more. If I were to name him, I will describe him as The Eternal Watcher.”


You can say that I was completely blown away by the experience. The ‘discovery’ of the Eternal Watcher was a very important event that completely changed the way I understood consciousness. It also made me contemplated very deeply and seriously about the possible existence of the Divine. These spurred me on an ardent search to understand and make sense of it all. I corresponded with whoever I think can help me unlock the mystery. These people included clairvoyants, other meditators, people on spiritual paths and new-agers. 

From these investigations, it was discovered that others have had similar experiences as well. Based on the consistency and plurality of the descriptions by others, something becomes very certain to me. That is, a human being is much more than a body that can talk and think. The Human Personality, which is our character, is only an outer consciousness of the human. With regard to our identity, our personality is merely the tip of the iceberg. Within the human being’s psyche lie much subtler and often-obscured levels of consciousness. I believe these inner consciousnesses could be the different depths of the Soul or levels of being-ness even more profound than that. About the Eternal Watcher, he is ever present. You didn’t see him doesn’t means he is not there. Because the Presence is so close to the mind, it is not easily perceived.

Perceiving the Eternal Watcher was achieved through the relaxed observation of my own breath. The ultra-relaxed observation eventually becomes a purely passive allowance for thoughts to pass through my consciousness. This, in turn, led to a gradual shutting down of the mental processes of my physical brain cumulating into a state of ‘no-thoughts’. Beyond the transitional phase of ‘no-thoughts’, I became the Eternal Watcher. Experiencing the Eternal Watcher is not an exercise that I can easily brush off as inconsequential. It is not possible for me to assume that my perception of existence and life can be the same as before. Doing so will be blatantly self-deceiving. To me, the most profound experiences where not from doing something. They came from doing nothing.

I believed the Eternal Watcher is the individualized God/Source Presence within oneself. I also believe this Presence is Rigpa as described in Tibetan Buddhism. Some people suggest that the Presence is the same as the Oversoul. However, I am not too sure about this. I hope I am not confusing you. In any case, the only way to validate all these is to personally experience the Presence (Eternal Watcher) and these states for oneself. 

That ‘no-thought experience’ was not the only mystical meditative experience. I have also experienced being a vast ocean of bliss. Ironically, the meditations that were attempted with an agenda of wanting to experience something mystical are the ones that are the least successful. Expectation puts a limit on how far one’s consciousness can go. For me, it was better to keep an open mind before sitting down to Meditate.” 

John Tan also described the nature of this realization in detail:

"John Tan: We call it the presence or we call it, um, we call it the presence. (Speaker: is it the I AM?) I AM is actually different. It's also presence. It's also presence. I AM, depending on... You see the definition of I AM also not really the same for some people, like Geovani? He actually wrote to me saying that his I AM is like localized in the head. So it's very individual. But that is not the I AM that we are talking about. The I AM is actually a very uh, like for example, I think, Long Chen (Sim Pern Chong) actually went through. It's actually all encompassing. It's actually what we call a non-dual experience. There's no thoughts. It's just a pure sense of existence. And it can be a very powerful. It is indeed a very powerful experience. So when, let's say when you are. When you're very young. Especially when you are [at] my age. When you first experience I AM, it is very different. It's a very different experience. We never experienced that before. So, um, I don't know whether it can be even considered as an experience. Um, because there is no thoughts. It's just Presence. But this presence is very quickly misinterpreted due to our karmic tendency to of understanding something in a dualistic and in a in a very concrete manner. So very when we experience the we have the experience, the interpretation is very different. And that the wrong way of interpretation actually create a very dualistic experience." - Excerpt from AtR (Awakening to Reality) Meeting, March 2021

It is this very all-pervasive Presence that is then mistaken as the ultimate background, the ground of being for all phenomena to pop in and out while itself being unchanged and unaffected. Further insights are required to reveal its non-dual and empty nature. Elaborated in: The Mistaken Reality of Amness.

The Direct Path: Don't Downplay the 'I'

It is important not to mistake this 'neti neti' process that is part and parcel of self-enquiry with the Buddhist Anatman teaching. They are two different things. In Neti Neti and Self-Enquiry, the purpose is directed to realizing what Presence-Awareness is, what your Self is, what the Source is. You cannot downplay the Self. You can put aside Buddhist No-Self or contemplation on impermanence or no-self aside until later on, if inquiry and direct path is your approach.

As John Tan said (Posts by Thusness/PasserBy in 2009 DhO 1.0):

“Hi Gary,
It appears that there are two groups of practitioners in this forum, one adopting the gradual approach and the other, the direct path. I am quite new here so I may be wrong.

My take is that you are adopting a gradual approach yet you are experiencing something very significant in the direct path, that is, the ‘Watcher’. As what Kenneth said, “You're onto something very big here, Gary. This practice will set you free.” But what Kenneth said would require you to be awaken to this ‘I’. It requires you to have the ‘eureka!’ sort of realization. Awaken to this ‘I’, the path of spirituality becomes clear; it is simply the unfolding of this ‘I’.

On the other hand, what that is described by Yabaxoule is a gradual approach and therefore there is downplaying of the ‘I AM’. You have to gauge your own conditions, if you choose the direct path, you cannot downplay this ‘I’; contrary, you must fully and completely experience the whole of ‘YOU’ as ‘Existence’. Emptiness nature of our pristine nature will step in for the direct path practitioners when they come face to face to the ‘traceless’, ‘centerless’ and ‘effortless’ nature of non-dual awareness.

Perhaps a little on where the two approaches meet will be of help to you.

Awakening to the ‘Watcher’ will at the same time ‘open’ the ‘eye of immediacy’; that is, it is the capacity to immediately penetrate discursive thoughts and sense, feel, perceive without intermediary the perceived. It is a kind of direct knowing. You must be deeply aware of this “direct without intermediary” sort of perception -- too direct to have subject-object gap, too short to have time, too simple to have thoughts. It is the ‘eye’ that can see the whole of ‘sound’ by being ‘sound’. It is the same ‘eye’ that is required when doing vipassana, that is, being ‘bare’. Be it non-dual or vipassana, both require the opening of this 'eye of immediacy'”

Adyashanti on The Art of Self-Inquiry

Since you are interested in Adyashanti, his teachings on inquiry parallel this progression perfectly. The following is a relevant passage from his work, The Art of Self-Inquiry:

WHAT IS A SPIRITUALLY POWERFUL QUESTION? Meditative self-inquiry is the art of asking a spiritually powerful question. And a question that is spiritually powerful always points us back to ourselves. Because the most important thing that leads to spiritual awakening is to discover who and what we are—to wake up from this dream state, this trance state of identification with ego. And for this awakening to occur, there needs to be some transformative energy that can flash into consciousness. It needs to be an energy that is actually powerful enough to awaken consciousness out of its trance of separateness into the truth of our being. Inquiry is an active engagement with our own experience that can cultivate this flash of spiritual insight...

THE WAY OF SUBTRACTION: Before we actually find out what we are, we must first find out what we are not. Otherwise our assumptions will continue to contaminate the whole investigation. We could call this the way of subtraction. In the Christian tradition, they call this the Via Negativa, the negative path. In the Hindu tradition of Vedanta, they call this neti neti, which means “not this, not that.” These are all paths of subtraction, ways of finding out what we are by finding out what we are not...

WHO IS AWARE? No sooner do we get back to awareness itself than we encounter the primary assumption that “I am the one who is aware.” So we investigate that assumption, and discover time and time again that we cannot find out who it is that is aware. Where is this “I” that is aware? It is at this precise moment—the moment when we realize that we cannot find an entity called “me” who owns or possesses awareness—that it starts to dawn on us that maybe we ourselves are awareness itself...

THE GREAT INCLUSION: After the Way of Subtraction comes what I call the Great Inclusion. When we start to let go into awareness or spirit, we start to recognize that that is who and what we are. We start to see that everything in existence is simply a manifestation or expression of spirit, whether it’s the chair, or the floor, or your shoes, or the trees outside, the sky, the body that you call “you,” the mind, the ego, the personality, everything—all are expressions of spirit.

THAT WHICH REMAINS THE SAME: Nobody can force this flash of recognition into being. It happens spontaneously. It happens by itself. But what we can do is cultivate the ground and create the conditions under which this flash of recognition happens. We can open our minds to deeper possibilities and start to investigate for ourselves what we really and truly are... Ramana Maharshi had a saying, “Let what comes come; let what goes go. Find out what remains.” - Adyashanti

Note: The "Great Inclusion" marks the beginning of non-dual realization. Full Anatta (No-Self) usually becomes clear later—often through contemplating the Two Stanzas of Anatta—but it starts here with the inclusion of all phenomena in awareness.

Something I always say when you are doing self enquiry or any other contemplations and meditations, this is crucial—and Adyashanti puts it perfectly:

"We think it's all about like, again, because of our modern mind, we almost think everything can be solved through some sort of technology. Right, oh, I just need to do it different, there must be some secret trick to inquiry, that's our technological mind-set. Sometimes that's a mindset that is very useful to us. But, we don't want to let that dominate our spirituality. Because as I witnessed, the intensity of the living inquiry that's more important than all the techniques. When somebody Just Has To Know. Even if that's kind of driving them half crazy for a while. And, that attitude is as important or more important than all the ways we work with that attitude, you know, the spiritual practices, the meditations and various inquiries and various different things, sort of practices. If we engage in the practices because they are practices, you know like, ok I just do these because this is what I'm told to do, and hopefully it will have some good effect. That's different than being engaged, when you're actually being deeply interested in what you're inquiring about, and what you're actually meditating upon. It's that quality of real, actual interest, something even more than interest. It is a kind of compulsion, I know I was saying earlier don't get taken in by compulsion, but there is/can be a kind of compulsion. And that's as valuable as anything else going on in you, actually." - Adyashanti

Summary

  • Don't stop at "Experience": If "experience" just means the flow of senses and thoughts, you are missing the Source.
  • Don't Jump to Anatta: Realizing the luminous aspect of Mind (Pure Presence) is crucial first.
  • Realize I AM: It is the essence of your own Beingness, discovered through self enquiry (who am i) and the process of elimination.
  • Realize Anatman Later: Eventually, the view of an "inherent background subject" collapses. You realize that Presence is not a separate witness but is the seamless, vivid, empty activity of the universe itself—Presence is the sounds, colors, and thoughts. Without the prior realization of Presence, this is not the true Anatman.
  • Keep it Simple: Don’t overcomplicate the 'how'. It is just simple, innocent inquiry into 'who am I?' driven by genuine desire to discover the truth of your Being.

For those navigating this territory, please refer to the Awakening to Reality Practice Guide. Remember, the words are just pointers; the point is to discover the reality they point to.


Excerpt from the AtR Guide

Someone asked, “Clarification on the practice of koan/hua-tou/self inquiry. Is the emphasis, the focus, placed on the moment before the koan is asked, or is it placed on the doubt/inquisitiveness that arises by asking the koan, or both? Reading Xu Yun, it seems that the practice is to create as much doubt as possible and looking into that doubt that arises from the questioning? There are some other descriptions however that state that to be a hua-tou the focus/looking-into should be done in that moment before the thought arises?”

Soh replied: “In Self Enquiry, I asked 'Before birth, Who am I?' The point of self enquiry is really to investigate (and this process of investigation consists of an earnest curiosity and inquisitiveness) and direct the mind to the Source. The Source which is prior to everything — thoughts, perceptions, etc. So that That which is what you truly are, the I AM prior to 'I am this' or 'I am that', can be directly realized in complete certainty without a trace of doubt.

Jesus said, “Before Abraham was, I AM”. That I AM that I AM is what's present five millennia ago, present five minutes ago, present Now, present before the koan is asked, in fact the original face before your parents were born, before the big bang, before time and space, before everything perceivable and conceivable.

The purpose of generating doubt is not to create endless doubt but to direct the mind to the Source so that the very doubt resolves into the Doubtless Self/Beingness that is revealed in its shining radiance. The doubt is itself the inquisitiveness and curiosity (an important key element to successful self-enquiry — otherwise the thought 'Who am I?' will just be a monotonous and robotic mental chanting like a mantra rather than lead the mind to the Source) to really find out the truth of your Being.

You have to ask 'Who am I?' like you really, really mean it, like you really, really want to find out what you truly are at the core of your Being and unlock the secret of Existence. Like, what the hell, after all these years living on this planet, what is at the core of this wondrous Life itself? What is this Existence? What am I??? I've seen many things in life and lived for so many years, but WHO is living this Life? Who is seeing, hearing, smelling? Who is dragging this corpse along? That's the meaning of doubt, nothing else.

To use an analogy of Ramana Maharshi, the doubt is the stick used for stirring the funeral pyre, to be finally dissolved in the end (into the Source).

'The mind will subside only by means of the enquiry "Who am I?". The thought "Who am I?", destroying all other thoughts, will itself finally be destroyed like the stick used for stirring the funeral pyre.' — Ramana Maharshi”

Someone else asked, “Why is 'before birth, what am I?' being advocated? Why would we assume we were anything 'before birth'?”

Soh replied: “Before any observable five senses or conceptual phenomena, what are you? There is a doubtless Presence before senses. But don’t intellectualize the question or ponder conceptually while enquiring. The purpose of self-enquiry is to have a direct non-conceptual realization of Self/Presence, so any conceptual rumination will be an obstruction during the practice of self-enquiring."

When the Body Disappears

"Remember 'con men,' 'con women' as well. These con men can sell you anything! There's one living in your mind right now, and you believe every word he says! His name is Thinking. When you let go of that inner talk and get silent, you get happy. Then when you let go of the movement of the mind and stay with the breath, you experience even more delight. Then when you let go of the body, all these five senses disappear and you're really blissing out. This is original Buddhism. Sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch completely vanish. This is like being in a sensory deprivation chamber but much better. But it's not just silence, you just don't hear anything. It's not just blackness, you just don't see anything. It's not just a feeling of comfort in the body, there is no body at all.

When the body disappears that really starts to feel great. You know of all those people who have out-of-body experiences? When the body dies, every person has that experience, they float out of the body. And one of the things they always say is it's so peaceful, so beautiful, so blissful. It's the same in meditation when the body disappears, it's so peaceful, so beautiful, so blissful when you are free from this body. What's left? Here there's no sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. This is what the Buddha called the mind in deep meditation. When the body disappears what is left is the mind.

I gave a simile to a monk the other night. Imagine an Emperor who is wearing a long pair of trousers and a big tunic. He's got shoes on his feet, a scarf around the bottom half of his head and a hat on the top half of his head. You can't see him at all because he's completely covered in five garments. It's the same with the mind. It's completely covered with sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. So people don't know it. They just know the garments. When they see the Emperor, they just see the robes and the garments. They don't know who lives inside them. And so it is no wonder they're confused about what is life, what is mind, who is this inside of here, where did I come from? Why? What am I supposed to be doing with this life? When the five senses disappear, it's like unclothing the Emperor and seeing what is actually in here, what's actually running the show, who's listening to these words, who's seeing, who's feeling life, who this is. When the five senses disappear, you're coming close to the answer to those questions.

What you're seeing in such deep meditation is that which we call "mind," (in Pali it's called Citta). The Buddha used this beautiful simile. When there is a full moon on a cloudy night, even though it's a full moon, you can hardly see it. Sometimes when the clouds are thin, you can see this hazy shape shining though. You know there is something there. This is like the meditation just before you've entered into these profound states. You know there is something there, but you can't quite make it out. There's still some "clothes" left. You're still thinking and doing, feeling the body or hearing sounds. But there does come a time, and this is the Buddha's simile, when the moon is released from the clouds and there in the clear night sky you can see the beautiful full disc of the moon shining brilliantly, and you know that's the moon. The moon is there; the moon is real, and it's not just some sort of side effect of the clouds. This is what happens in meditation when you see the mind. You see clearly that the mind is not some side effect of the brain. You see the mind, and you know the mind. The Buddha said that the mind released is beautiful, is brilliant, is radiant. So not only are these blissful experiences, they're meaningful experiences as well. 


How many people may have heard about rebirth but still don't really believe it? How can rebirth happen? Certainly the body doesn't get reborn. That's why when people ask me where do you go when you die, "one of two places" I say "Fremantle or Karrakatta" that's where the body goes! [3] But is that where the mind goes? Sometimes people are so stupid in this world, they think the body is all there is, that there is no mind. So when you get cremated or buried that's it, that's done with, all has ended. The only way you can argue with this view is by developing the meditation that the Buddha achieved under the Bodhi tree. Then you can see the mind for yourself in clear awareness - not in some hypnotic trance, not in dullness - but in the clear awareness. This is knowing the mind

Knowing the Mind.

When you know that mind, when you see it for yourself, one of the results will be an insight that the mind is independent of this body. Independence means that when this body breaks up and dies, when it's cremated or when it's buried, or however it's destroyed after death, it will not affect the mind. You know this because you see the nature of the mind. That mind which you see will transcend bodily death. The first thing which you will see for yourself, the insight which is as clear as the nose on your face, is that there is something more to life than this physical body that we take to be me. Secondly you can recognise that that mind, essentially, is no different than that process of consciousness which is in all beings. Whether it's human beings or animals or even insects, of any gender, age or race, you see that that which is in common to all life is this mind, this consciousness, the source of doing.

Once you see that, you have much more respect for your fellow beings. Not just respect for your own race, your own tribe or your own religion, not just for human beings, but for all beings. It's a wonderfully high-minded idea. "May all beings be happy and well and may we respect all nations, all peoples, even all beings." However this is how you achieve that! You truly get compassion only when we see that others are fundamentally just as ourselves. If you think that a cow is completely different from you, that cows don't think like human beings, then it's easy to eat one. But can you eat your grandmother? She's too much like you. Can you eat an ant? Maybe you'd kill an ant because you think that ants aren't like you. But if you look carefully at ants, they are no different. In a forest monastery living out in the bush, close to nature, one of the things you become so convinced of is that animals have emotions and , especially, feel pain. You begin to recognise the personality of the animals, of the kookaburras, of the mice, the ants, and the spiders. Each one of those spiders has a mind just like you have. Once you see that you can understand the Buddha's compassion for all beings. You can also understand how rebirth can occur between all species - not just human beings to human beings, but animals to humans, humans to animals. You can understand also how the mind is the source of all this. 

The mind can exist even without a body in the realms of ghosts and angels (what we call in Buddhism Devas). It becomes very clear to you how they exist, why they exist, what they are. These are insights and understandings which come from deep meditation. But more than that, when you know the nature of the mind then you know the nature of consciousness. You know the nature of stillness. You know the nature of life. You understand what makes this mind go round and round and round, what makes this mind seek rebirth. You understand the law of Kamma." - Ajahn Brahmavamso, https://www.budsas.org/ebud/ebmed065.htm

However, it should be noted that it is not necessary to enter certain states of meditation to shut off the five senses before realizing I AM. As Ramana Maharshi said before, it is not necessary to lose body consciousness to realize Self, although doing so simply intensifies the samadhi or absorption in Self.

Undoubtedly Present and Aware

“Right now, as you read this, you exist and you are aware that you exist. You are undoubtedly present and aware. Before the next thought arises, you are absolutely certain of the fact of your own being, your own awareness, your own presence. This awareness is what you are; it is what you always have been. All thoughts, perceptions, sensations and feelings appear within or upon that. This awareness does not move, change or shift at any time. It is always free and completely untouched. However, it is not a thing or an object that you can see or grasp. The mind, being simply thoughts arising in awareness, cannot grasp it or know it or even think about it. Yet, as Bob says, you cannot deny the fact of your own being. It is palpably obvious, and yet, from the time we were born, no one has pointed this out. Once it is pointed out it can be grasped or understood very quickly because it is just a matter of noticing, ‘Oh, that is what I am!’ It is a bright, luminous, empty, presence of awareness; it is absolutely radiant, yet without form; it is seemingly intangible, but the most solid fact in your existence; it is effortlessly here right now, forever untouched. Without taking a step, you have arrived; you are home. No practice can reveal this because practices are in time and in the mind. Practices aim at a result, but you (as presence-awareness) are here already, only you don’t recognize it till it is pointed out. Once seen, you can’t lose it, and you don’t have to practice to exist, to be. This is, in essence, what Bob pointed out to me in the first conversation I had with him.

Once I saw this, I felt very clear and free immediately. Later, some thoughts came up, some old personality patterns, some old definitions of who I thought myself to be. I seemed to lose the clear understanding of my nature as presence-awareness. The next day, I talked to Bob about it. He said, ‘Let’s have a look. Do you exist? Are you aware? What is illumining the thought that you have lost it?’ Then I realized that thoughts of suffering were only passing concepts being illumined by the ever-present awareness. I hadn’t lost anything at all. The awareness that we are is never obscured! Suffering seems real because we don’t have a clear understanding of our true nature. Instead, we believe the passing thoughts, such as ‘I am no good,’ ‘I am not there yet,’ ‘I am stuck’ or whatever the thought may be. Eventually we understand that we are not those thoughts. Once our real self is pointed out, the suffering loses its grip.

Bob pointed out that there is no person here at all. The person that we think we are is an imaginary concept. There are thoughts and feelings and perceptions, but they are not a problem. They just rise and fall like dust motes in the light of the presence-awareness that we are.

The closest that the mind can come to representing who we are is the thought ‘I am’. But that thought is not who we really are. Whether that thought is there or not, we still exist. We know the thought ‘I am’. That thought is the start of the false sense of an individual, a separate ‘I’. Because we didn’t know any better, the mind attached other labels to this ‘I’ thought, such as ‘I am good,’ ‘I am bad,’ ‘I have this problem,’ and so on. But those thoughts don’t have anything to do with us, because the very ‘I’ thought itself, the sense of separation, is not actually who we are. Once you see the falseness of the ‘I’ thought, that what we are is not an individual person at all, the identifications and ideas of a lifetime all collapse because they are all based on a false premise.” - John Wheeler

The Original Face

"What is the Original Face? It is the face all of us have before our parents gave birth to us. Before we even have the 6 sense organs of eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body & brain to perceive the 6 sense objects of form, sound, smell, taste, feeling & thought. Before we even know good & evil, happiness & suffering, samsara & nirvana. Simply the pure awareness untainted by all 6 senses - that is the real YOU. That is also me, that is also all sentient beings & all Buddhas.

This is the Dharma that the 6th Patriarch revealed to his pursuer Hui Ming on Da Yu mountain. By temporarily shutting down your 6 sense organs and blocking out the 6 sense objects, by abandoning duality, what is left at that instant is your true nature. Like the still lake without a single ripple, or like the clear blue sky without a single cloud; the original face is vast, limitless, formless & completely free. It is not dull nothingness like an unconscious person, but a living, unmoving awareness that pervades all things, yet remaining unaffected by all things. Besides this, there is no other esoteric teachings that the Buddha & the Patriarchs can impart to us.

But alas, for all of us, after we have picked up a physical body in our mother's womb, we have totally forgotten our original face. We started to grasp on to our sense organs, believing that to be our Self, our Ego. This is where the ignorance without a beginning - Avijja takes over. When our sense organs contact the sense objects, we instinctively allow the objects to enslave the organs, such that craving & aversion develops without an end, engulfing the entire universe. From Avijja arises craving & aversion, & from craving & aversion arises endless suffering.

Thus realizing this, the Zen practitioner should, in a single thought understand his or her own mistake, & immediately detach oneself from one's senses & its objects from within. Throwing away all concepts, directly penetrate the veil of Avijja & recover your original face. This is the common hope of all Buddhas & Patriarchs for all sentient beings. Let none of us disappoint them, Sadhu." - Wayne

Observing the Mind (Hua-tou)

"The answer underlying the word 'Who' is the Mind. Speech arises from the Mind; the Mind is the head [source] of speech. Thoughts arise from the Mind; the Mind is the head [source] of thoughts. The ten thousand dharmas [all phenomena] are born from the Mind; the Mind is the head [source] of all dharmas.

Actually, the 'head of speech' (Hua-tou) is the 'head of thought.' The head preceding the thought is the Mind. To put it directly: the state before a single thought arises is the Hua-tou.

From this, you and I know that 'looking into the Hua-tou' is 'observing the Mind' (Guan-xin). The 'Original Face before one's parents were born' is the Mind. To look into the 'Original Face before one's parents were born' is to contemplate the Mind...

Therefore, saying 'Look into the Hua-tou,' or saying 'Look into Who is reciting the Buddha's name?', is simply observing/contemplating the Mind. It is observing the pure essence of awareness of one's own Mind; it is observing the Self-nature Buddha." - Ch'an Master Hsu Yun (Source)

Hua-tou and the Sensation of Doubt

"To look at the Hua-tou, one must first generate the sensation of doubt (Yi-qing). The sensation of doubt is the walking stick for looking at the Hua-tou. What is the sensation of doubt? For example, asking 'Who is reciting the Buddha's name?' Everyone knows it is oneself reciting. But ask yourself: Is it reciting with the mouth? Or reciting with the mind? If it is with the mouth, when you are asleep you still have a mouth, so why can't it recite?...

Therefore, you do not understand. A slight thought of doubt then arises on the word 'Who.' It should not be coarse; the subtler the better. At all times and places, simply take care of and fixate on this thought of doubt. Look at it continuously like flowing water, without giving rise to a second thought. If the doubt-thought is present, do not disturb it; if the doubt-thought is absent, gently raise it again." - Ch'an Master Hsu Yun (Source)

Also See: Self-Enquiry, Neti Neti and Process of Discovery

What is your very Mind right now?



Self-Enquiry: Before Thinking, What Are You?

Question:

Hi Soh, I have been reading up on self-enquiry on the Awakening to Reality website and in the guide.

Several times, when explaining how to do self-enquiry, you say that “non-conceptual and non-verbal exploration/investigation” is the key to self-enquiry. But you do not explain exactly what that means or how to do it. Could you define it?

Soh:

It means that you examine and investigate what you are before thinking.

Before thinking, what are you?

You do not find the answer in words. All words miss the point; they are precisely what you are not. You negate all conceivable and perceivable phenomena as neti neti — not this, not that. I am not these thoughts, nor any perceivable phenomena.

So what are you?

In the past, there was a master who contemplated, “What is the original face before my parents were born?” He contemplated for many years but did not awaken. Later, he encountered a great noble person and requested compassionate guidance.

The noble one asked, “What koan did you contemplate?”

He replied, “I contemplated: what is the original face before my parents were born?”

The noble one replied, “You contemplated too far away. You should look nearby.”

He asked, “How should I look nearby?”

The noble one replied, “Do not look into what is before your parents were born. Instead, look at this: before a thought arises, what is it?”

The Zen practitioner immediately attained great awakening.

Everyone sitting here, please look: before a moment of thought arises, what is this? It is radiating light in front of everybody’s sense doors. Its brightness illuminates everything, yet it is without the slightest clinging. Nothing is known and nothing is seen, yet it is not like wood and stones. What is this?

It is right here, shining in its brilliance. This is awakening to the Way. Therefore it is said, “The great Way is not difficult; just cease speech and words!”

- Yuan Yin Lao Ren

The knee-jerk answer for many people, when asked what they are before thinking, is: “Oh, nothing.”

But you are clearly not a void or nothingness. You are clearly still conscious, present, existing, and aware. What exactly is that?

If thought says, “Oh, Awareness!” that is just another thought — and again, precisely not what you are.

So you keep investigating, non-verbally, what you actually are before all words, definitions, thoughts, and labels. Before all conceivable and perceivable phenomena, what are you actually?

This is also helpful:

What is your very Mind right now?

Do read it in its entirety.