Mr W.A:

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Soh, on retreat I had a great deal of energetic conditioning come up, and as they did, I realized that parts of my mind and body were "coming back online." There was an aha moment where I realized that the "ego" had never been anything more than the patterns in thought and feeling caused by these conditionings. Without them, there just isn't anything there to recognize. Even the very act of identifying is itself just a very strong and deep conditioning... literally something happening on the purely energetic level whose influence is mistaken to be a self. Noticing this dramatically accelerated things. While I still have a lot of conditioning left, it does feel like once this clicked, attention no longer looks for a self to blame, but rather just for the resistance held in the conditioning. This is practical and fruitful to practice. Just wanted to share, as it's a bit of a different way of talking about the sense of self, yet quite congruent with the teachings on right view, and has proven robustly accurate in my experience so far.

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Soh Wei Yu

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That's good.

Even more crucial is to realize the seal of anatta -- in thinking, there is always just thought without thinker. Seeing is, no seer, and so on and so forth. As you said, it just conditioning, and this implies a momentum of its own. Did you think that thought or did it just happen? It just happened, by its own momentum and conditionings. Something triggers you and some anger or fear arise, did you control or will it to occur? Did you choose to feel nasty or pissed off or moody or whatever? It just happened, due to the various conditions and triggers and one's latent tendencies and so on. Purely dependent origination, no agent or controller or thinker is involved here, and even 'ego' is just that patterning, that pure happening. If it were from a 'you', then 'you' would not have chosen to feel shitty/nasty/whatever, or 'you' would simply have chosen to only feel unconditional love, or some other nice mental states and not ruin an otherwise perfect day. But upon clear seeing, its just seen so clearly that mind/thoughts, body, consciousness, all those are not you, not yours, not due to a controller or agent.

Initially if you have had not the direct realization of one's radiance, Pure Presence, it will be skewed to the first stanza of anatta, towards non-doership which is also important, as described above. At this point it's also important realize one's radiance and to recognise whatever thoughts and sensory appearances as the display of one's radiance. Mature realization of anatta reveals both stanzas of anatta to be a seal, to be what is always already so.

So whatever thoughts arise, even conditionings, patternings, there is no need to reject, nor grasp at them, but simply recognise this seal of anatta to be always already the case, the nature of mind/thoughts/appearances. It doesn't matter whether it is a very strong emotion, conditioning, or a very normal or peaceful thought, they are all fuel for contemplating the nature of mind/consciousness/experience. Its nature (as is the nature of all mind/displays) is the union of luminous clarity and emptiness.

Also see:

On Anatta (No-Self), Emptiness, Maha and Ordinariness, and Spontaneous Perfection

And

Resolving That Thoughts and Perceptions are Buddha-Mind

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Wrote to Mr. P:


I think you are overly judgmental about realised people.


Buddha said only arahats are free from mental illnesses. What did he say? Buddha: "Bhikkhus, there are these two kinds of illness. Which two? Bodily illness and mental illness. People are found who can claim to enjoy bodily health for one, two, three, four, and five years; for ten, twenty, thirty, forty, and fifty years; and even for a hundred years and more. But apart from those whose taints have been destroyed, it is hard to find people in the world who can claim to enjoy mental health even for a moment." - Roga Sutta. And as we know, someone without taints is an arahat. The equivalent in Mahayana bhumi system would be the eighth bhumi. Indeed, Acarya Malcolm also said before that bodhisattvas below the eighth bhumi can continue to be quite mentally afflicted. However usually anatta realization (aka stream entry - https://www.reddit.com/r/streamentry/comments/igored/insight_buddhism_a_reconsideration_of_the_meaning/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf%20) will help people who used to have severe depression overcome them, such as the case of Pam Tan https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2021/03/pam-tans-anatta-realisation-and-purging.html , but there can be outliers and exceptional cases for whatever reasons.


That being said I have never encountered someone I consider to have realised anatta that later developed schizophrenia, although I have known of one case that used to have schizophrenia who later realised anatta (he is not someone who posts often but you can read his story here - https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/search/label/Chad - i am not sure how is his mental conditions now but I presume it should be better)



Also, its interesting though that in the suttas, a sakadagami can still be depressed and die due to starvation from depression (no appetite to eat) from sorrow and loneliness.


https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/hecker/wheel334.html#part3


    “Anathapindika had four children, three daughters and a son. Two of the daughters, Little Subhadda and Big Subhadda, were steeped in the Dhamma like their father and had attained stream-entry. And just as they took after their father in spiritual matters, so they did in worldly affairs; they were both happily married.

    But the youngest daughter, Sumana, surpassed even the rest of her family in her deep wisdom. Upon hearing the Buddha, she had quickly attained the second step of purification, becoming a once-returner.

    She did not marry, but not because she had renounced marriage. In fact, when she saw the happiness of her two sisters, she became sad and lonely. Her spiritual strength did not suffice to overcome her depression. To the deep sorrow of her family, she wasted away, eating nothing, starving to death.

    She was reborn in the Tusita heaven, the highest form of existence in the sensual realm, and there she had to purge herself of the residue of dependence on other people, her last desire directed outwardly.”


——



I have not met of realized people that get depressed over loneliness. However, having studied the scriptures over a decade ago, I at least know well enough that even if someone commits suicide due to loneliness and depression, I would not rule out the possibility that they have attained up to sakadagami. I only rule out the possibility that they have attained anagami and up. Why?


The scriptures indicate that sakadagami to anagami is a huge shift, because an anagami will not have any such sorrows and grasping at relationships: 


As someone wrote, “As for lifestyle changes upon abandoning the five fetters, this is what the non-returner Ugga has to say: “I had four young wives. I then went to them and said: ‘Sisters, I have undertaken the training rules with celibacy as the fifth. If you want, you can enjoy wealth right here and do merits, or go back to your own family circle, or inform me if you want me to give you over to another man.’ My eldest wife then said to me: ‘Young sir, give me to such and such a man.’ I sent for that man, and with my left hand I took my wife, with my right hand I took the ceremonial vase, and I gave her to that man. But even while giving away my young wife, I don’t recall that any alteration took place in my mind. This is the third astounding and amazing quality found in me.”



Even so, does that mean arahats no longer commit suicide since they no longer have mental afflictions? I leave open the possibility that they can still commit suicide based on extreme physical pain such as in the story of bhikkhu channa. https://suttacentral.net/sn35.87/en/bodhi?lang=en&reference=none&highlight=false Although arahats no longer create mental suffering, the bodily pain can still remain unbearable, based on what I understand from the above. So if someone commits suicide due to the torture of terminal illness, I know well enough not to discount the possibility that they have attained arahatship, even if real sutta-arahatship is rare these days.


So although I can say “suffering reduced” after realization here, I am not so naive as to claim that all sufferings are eliminated after realization. Unless you are arahat, eighth bhumi or Buddha.



——


Commenting to someone, Soh wrote:


Yeah i dont personally see how i can have that (depression from loneliness) but i dont presume to know the psychological makeup of all beings or realised persons


….


You can have realization and still afflicted in various ways. That is why buddha is wise in categorising the four stages from stream enterer to arahat in terms of ten fetters, there are very specific markers, also the bodhisattva bhumi path is related in terms of gradual elimination of twin obscurations.


But unfortunately there are a lot of poor interpretations in the modern world. Some like daniel ingram dont agree with fetter model and treat arahatship as just anatta. Arahats to him can continue to exhibit behaviours like lust, or anger etc if i understand him right. I dont agree. There are also those who somewhat agree with fetter model but totally misinterpreted them in terms of impersonality to nondual to anatta, making anatta arahatship again whereas in fact it is mere stream entry. We see this issue with kevin shanilec


Also the focus and obsession with eliminating fetters will lead many on the wrong path of merely suppressing without wisdom, that is also possible and common. It is not the path to liberation. Doesnt mean fetters cant be eliminated but without wisdom and very mature level of wisdom, it is the wrong way imo (see: Wisdom Path and Overcoming Inherency - https://www.awakeningtoreality.com/2023/03/wisdom-path-and-overcoming-inherency.html)



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Mr. A wrote:

Soh Wei Yu ok but I really don't see how pain could be unbearable when there's no one there to experience it? in consciousness pain is like any other experience



the only way is see it becoming unbearable is if you're attaching a story to it. it's the thoughts that can definitely make it unbearable, the sensation is just what it is

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Soh Wei Yu

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You don't need thoughts or sense of self to be sensitive to pleasure and pain. Have you experienced very painful sensations before? Do sensations just stop being painful if you do not have sense of self?

There are two types of nibbana. The former is when a liberated being is still alive. The latter is post mortem of that liberated being.


Do read this teaching by Buddha:


§ 44. The Nibbana-element {Iti 2.17; Iti 38}


[Alternate translation: Thanissaro]


This was said by the Lord...


"Bhikkhus, there are these two Nibbana-elements. What are the two? The Nibbana-element with residue left and the Nibbana-element with no residue left.


"What, bhikkhus, is the Nibbana-element with residue left? Here a bhikkhu is an arahant, one whose taints are destroyed, the holy life fulfilled, who has done what had to be done, laid down the burden, attained the goal, destroyed the fetters of being, completely released through final knowledge. However, his five sense faculties remain unimpaired, by which he still experiences what is agreeable and disagreeable and feels pleasure and pain. It is the extinction of attachment, hate, and delusion in him that is called the Nibbana-element with residue left.


"Now what, bhikkhus, is the Nibbana-element with no residue left? Here a bhikkhu is an arahant... completely released through final knowledge. For him, here in this very life, all that is experienced, not being delighted in, will be extinguished. That, bhikkhus, is called the Nibbana-element with no residue left.


"These, bhikkhus, are the two Nibbana-elements."


These two Nibbana-elements were made known


By the Seeing One, stable and unattached:


One is the element seen here and now

With residue, but with the cord of being destroyed;

The other, having no residue for the future,

Is that wherein all modes of being utterly cease.

Having understood the unconditioned state,

Released in mind with the cord of being destroyed,

They have attained to the Dhamma-essence.

Delighting in the destruction (of craving),

Those stable ones have abandoned all being.

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Soh Wei Yu

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But it is true that when freed from taints or kleshas, painful feelings stop being a cause of mental afflictions and suffering. But there must be a reason for Buddha to tell an arahant to 'bear with the pain', implying that he is experiencing pain that is hard to bear:


Then Ven. Angulimala, dwelling alone, secluded, heedful, ardent, & resolute, in no long time reached & remained in the supreme goal of the holy life for which clansmen rightly go forth from home into homelessness, knowing & realizing it for himself in the here & now. He knew: "Birth is ended, the holy life fulfilled, the task done. There is nothing further for the sake of this world." And thus Ven. Angulimala became another one of the arahants.


Then Ven. Angulimala, early in the morning, having put on his robes and carrying his outer robe & bowl, went into Savatthi for alms. Now at that time a clod thrown by one person hit Ven. Angulimala on the body, a stone thrown by another person hit him on the body, and a potsherd thrown by still another person hit him on the body. So Ven. Angulimala — his head broken open and dripping with blood, his bowl broken, and his outer robe ripped to shreds — went to the Blessed One. The Blessed One saw him coming from afar and on seeing him said to him: "Bear with it, brahman! Bear with it! The fruit of the kamma that would have burned you in hell for many years, many hundreds of years, many thousands of years, you are now experiencing in the here-&-now!"

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Soh Wei Yu

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On how painful sensations stop being a cause of mental afflictions for arahants:

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/.../sn36/sn36.006.nypo.html

SN 36.6 PTS: S iv 207 CDB ii 1263

Sallatha Sutta: The Dart

translated from the Pali by

Nyanaponika Thera

© 1998

Alternate translation: Thanissaro

"An untaught worldling, O monks, experiences pleasant feelings, he experiences painful feelings and he experiences neutral feelings. A well-taught noble disciple likewise experiences pleasant, painful and neutral feelings. Now what is the distinction, the diversity, the difference that exists herein between a well-taught noble disciple and an untaught worldling?

"When an untaught worldling is touched by a painful (bodily) feeling, he worries and grieves, he laments, beats his breast, weeps and is distraught. He thus experiences two kinds of feelings, a bodily and a mental feeling. It is as if a man were pierced by a dart and, following the first piercing, he is hit by a second dart. So that person will experience feelings caused by two darts. It is similar with an untaught worldling: when touched by a painful (bodily) feeling, he worries and grieves, he laments, beats his breast, weeps and is distraught. So he experiences two kinds of feeling: a bodily and a mental feeling.

"Having been touched by that painful feeling, he resists (and resents) it. Then in him who so resists (and resents) that painful feeling, an underlying tendency of resistance against that painful feeling comes to underlie (his mind). Under the impact of that painful feeling he then proceeds to enjoy sensual happiness. And why does he do so? An untaught worldling, O monks, does not know of any other escape from painful feelings except the enjoyment of sensual happiness. Then in him who enjoys sensual happiness, an underlying tendency to lust for pleasant feelings comes to underlie (his mind). He does not know, according to facts, the arising and ending of these feelings, nor the gratification, the danger and the escape, connected with these feelings. In him who lacks that knowledge, an underlying tendency to ignorance as to neutral feelings comes to underlie (his mind). When he experiences a pleasant feeling, a painful feeling or a neutral feeling, he feels it as one fettered by it. Such a one, O monks, is called an untaught worldling who is fettered by birth, by old age, by death, by sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and despair. He is fettered by suffering, this I declare.

"But in the case of a well-taught noble disciple, O monks, when he is touched by a painful feeling, he will not worry nor grieve and lament, he will not beat his breast and weep, nor will he be distraught. It is one kind of feeling he experiences, a bodily one, but not a mental feeling. It is as if a man were pierced by a dart, but was not hit by a second dart following the first one. So this person experiences feelings caused by a single dart only. It is similar with a well-taught noble disciple: when touched by a painful feeling, he will no worry nor grieve and lament, he will not beat his breast and weep, nor will he be distraught. He experiences one single feeling, a bodily one.

"Having been touched by that painful feeling, he does not resist (and resent) it. Hence, in him no underlying tendency of resistance against that painful feeling comes to underlie (his mind). Under the impact of that painful feeling he does not proceed to enjoy sensual happiness. And why not? As a well-taught noble disciple he knows of an escape from painful feelings other than by enjoying sensual happiness. Then in him who does not proceed to enjoy sensual happiness, no underlying tendency to lust for pleasant feelings comes to underlie (his mind). He knows, according to facts, the arising and ending of those feelings, and the gratification, the danger and the escape connected with these feelings. In him who knows thus, no underlying tendency to ignorance as to neutral feelings comes to underlie (his mind). When he experiences a pleasant feeling, a painful feeling or a neutral feeling, he feels it as one who is not fettered by it. Such a one, O monks, is called a well-taught noble disciple who is not fettered by birth, by old age, by death, by sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief and despair. He is not fettered to suffering, this I declare.

"This, O monks, is the distinction, the diversity, the difference that exists between a well-taught noble disciple and an untaught worldling."

Sallatha Sutta: The Dart

ACCESSTOINSIGHT.ORG

Sallatha Sutta: The Dart

Sallatha Sutta: The Dart

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Another person, Mr. P wrote an interesting post (https://www.facebook.com/groups/AwakeningToReality/posts/25168006679480758/?__cft__[0]=AZXOHCzRKV_oRTUbyloOyn6eVcCuGMxR-5od5uG_qC7sgyyS3NIXdj_OjzgsirdjKri2stUZAMmQdHpZOdh5S4TjgY4Kfon8OV9xzu8wnIBLtR0vF26R50p0BEVNY_i9wdpTyGE70cjZT3lB6QTi0-6CTDJ3-zSc1IovDxuA6vqZDyEwCt5cMuMDF1JohdgBrdg&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R]-R):



As someone who has at least an inkling of how mental health works let me say that depression and anxiety are NOT a single uniform phenomena. They are a host of behavioral and emotional experiences which are grouped and clustered into diagnostic labels. These labels are nothing but clusters of similar behavioral and emotional problems. So there is no single cause of depression and anxiety. There are likely many 'subtypes' which are really just different diseases which need different treatment.


So why does this matter? Because some subtypes of depression are likely impossible after atr anatta, but others most definitely are possible. If you have one of the subtypes which is incompatible with anatta, such as a type purely due to distorted self-referential thinking then it will vanish. On the other hand if your depression is due to say an undiagnosed autoimmune disease you will still experience low mood and exhuastion. These are just two more extreme examples of course, there are many 'in between' cases as well. Depression can exist without negative reactivity as well.It can be entirely the 'first arrow' of pain which can be activated without any reactivity even at the mind base (the first arrow can occur at all six sense bases, this is well supported by multiple suttas). Even arahants can meet the criteria for minor depression (seriously take a look: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK36406/table/ch1.t1/). Depression in the modern DSM diagnosis is not necessarily equivalent to an afflictive emotion IMO. I have experienced depression where my mood was peaceful overall, but I still would meet diagnostic criteria due to impairment, fatigue, low motivation etc. Strange place to be in, nothings wrong, but can't do anything since mental energy is just absent due to the illness.

And to just give an idea of the different causes of depression. It can be due to:


1. Environmental Factors such as pollution, noisiness, and pollen

2. Negative Self-Talk

3. Undiagnosed Physical Illness

4. Overall Inflammation in the body

5. Sleep disturbances

6. Lack of physical exercise/sedentary lifestyle

7. Trauma which has worked it's way into the 'energy body' (i.e. the way the mind pervades the bodily experience)

8. Other mental illnesses (bipolar, schizopherenia, borderline etc)

9. Genetic and epigenetic factors

10. and probably a ton of other stuff

It would be seriously naive to think anatta will solve all of those distinct causes for everyone.


...


And to be fair, a lot of depression is really just due negative thoughts and beliefs believe it or not. So ATR anatta can solve the problem often. So can efficient methods such as TEAM-CBT which just target those thoughts and beliefs (and resulting behaviors) directly. This is why David Burns can work with many clients and cure depression in a single 3 hour session just by targeting these things (as well as his deep skill gained from 30+ years of practicing as a therapist).

Unfortunately such high speed approaches don't really work for people with additional diagnoses, and probably also fail in cases of physical illness etc. Probably they fail in the same places atr anatta would fail.

9h

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Edited




——


Mr J G said:

I'm blown away by the depth of engagement from this community. Thank you all for your answers. And much gratitude to the moderators for creating such a supportive and engaging environment.

While I have not had the realisation of anatto, nor am I currently suffering from depression or anxiety, I simply thought it to be an interesting philosophical question.

Many years ago, I did suffer from both, but the further along the "path" I find myself, the less I can ever see these psychological afflictions becoming an issue again.

My synthesis of the above comments is that anxiety and depression are terms that cover both an exceptionally broad field of phenomena, and could also have multifarious causes.

It seems that if the psychological ailments relate to habitual patterns of mind, such as negative self-referential thinking, or negative conditioning of mind; the suffering relating to this will not survive in the wake of anatta realisation.

However, I can see how anxiety or depression relating to biological phenomena could still persist past the insight of anatta. Although, it still seems there will be no one to "suffer" this burden. Instead, it'd just be the phenomenological texture of experience, not happening to anyone.

Having said this, the only way to truly find out will be through direct experience. Hopefully time will tell 😊



Soh replied:


Suffering will still arise as long as one is not yet an arahant or eighth bhumi bodhisattva. Although it may be reduced tremendously.

Also by the third bhumi one will be generally free of negative emotions.

As Kyle Dixon/Krodha wrote to someone on reddit:

“I’m not qualified to give any sort of medical advice but sounds like you’d benefit from either continuing with some sort of medication schedule or if you choose to go without meds, at the very least have a therapist you can engage with on a regular basis.

Buddhadharma is great, and in certain degrees of realization does actually eliminate negative emotions so that they aren’t experienced at all. They are “tamed” (damya) so that you form a deep mental and emotional resilience once you reach the level of “patience” (kṣānti). This occurs on what is called the third bhūmi, negative emotions no longer manifest at all. I only say that to share that buddhadharma is in fact a means to an end in terms of conquering emotional turmoil. That said, those are higher realizations, and you shouldn’t bet your mental wellbeing on that type of attainment at this present time. It is better to take measures to find some emotional equanimity and overall peace, even if that means medication and therapy.”

Also as Kyle shared and I can relate:

"...The anatta definitely severed many emotional afflictions, for the most part I don't have negative emotions anymore. And either the anatta or the strict shamatha training has resulted in stable shamatha where thoughts have little effect and are diminished by the force of clarity. I'm also able to control them, stopping them for any amount of desired time etc. But I understand that isn't what is important. Can I fully open to whatever arises I would say yes. I understand that every instance of experience is fully appearing to itself as the radiance of clarity, yet timelessly disjointed and unsubstantiated.." - Kyle Dixon, 2013

“The conditions for this subtle identification are not undone until anatta is realized.

Anatta realization is like a massive release of prolonged tension, this is how John put it once at least. Like a tight fist, that has been tight for lifetimes, is suddenly relaxed. There is a great deal of power in the event. The nature of this realization is not often described in traditional settings, I have seen Traga Rinpoche discuss it. Jñāna is very bright and beautiful. That brightness is traditionally the “force” that “burns” the kleśas.

The reservoir of traces and karmic imprints is suddenly purged by this wonderful, violent brightness. After this occurs negative emotions are subdued and for the most part do not manifest anymore. Although this is contingent upon the length of time one maintains that equipoise.” - Kyle Dixon, 2019

“Prajñā “burns” karma, only when in awakened equipoise. Regular meditation does not.” - Kyle Dixon, 2021


—-

Soh:

Also,


John Tan:

The logic that since there is no agency, hence no choice to be made is no different from "no sufferer, therefore no suffering".

This is not anatta insight.

What is seen through in anatta is the mistaken view that the conventional structure of "subject action object" represents reality when it is not. Action does not require an agent to initiate it. It is language that creates the confusion that nouns are required to set verbs into motion.

Therefore the action of choosing continues albeit no chooser.

"Mere suffering exists, no sufferer is found;

The deeds are, but no doer of the deeds is there;

Nibbāna is, but not the man that enters it;

The path is, but no traveler on it is seen."

…..


“Difference between "neo advaita nihilism" and Anatta
“[3:29 PM, 6/25/2020] John Tan: Thought of how to explain the difference in anatta and advaita nihilism.

[3:40 PM, 6/25/2020] John Tan: When a person in ignorance, why is he so blinded? If there is no I, shouldn't him be already free?

 

Sentient being: if there is no I in ignorance, then you are therefore free.

 

Anatta: There is no I in ignorance, you are precisely THAT ignorance, therefore fully and entirely blinded.

 

What anatta insight is telling us is the "I" and "ignorance" are the same phenomenon. This also tells us that even when in ignorant, there is complete and effortless non-dual experience, anatta is a seal.

 

 

[2:52 PM, 6/27/2020] Soh Wei Yu: The Beauty of Virtue

 “


 Ryan: “interesting I thought AtR emphasizes non-arising?  the perception that objects are not actually present at all”



Soh to Mr. RB:


Atr / john tan emphasizes +a and -a (as described in the shorter atr practice guide and longer original atr guide)


John Tan said years ago:


“No appearances just mean the conceptual notions of mind, appearances and external objects are all deconstructed.

It doesn't mean a blank nothing.

Vivid Appearances will unfailingly manifest, that is what Mipham meant by coalescence of appearance and emptiness.


From the perspective of mind (alaya), negation is non-affirming and thorough.

From the non-conceptual gnosis standpoint, nothing is obstructed nor denied.

What appears is unconditioned, spontaneous, natural and beyond elaborations.



From ATR perspective that is -A. But it is also +A. 

For both shares similar taste if no-self nature is the focus instead of conceptualities.

Therefore study both masters Mipham and Tsongkhapa with respect and reverence and don't talk nonsense.


If there is alternation between +A and -A, that is arya along the path.  If there is no alternation, that is buddhahood.

That is just my opinion.”




——



Mr. RB said


“Soh Wei Yu how would you describe non-arising experientially?  


the blending of A+ and A- minus emptiness when I’ve done the contemplations opens a natural state of phenomena being immense, immediate but also transparent holographic-like.  As if what’s arising is not actually there or present at all.”



Soh replied


“Designations Turn Alive


John Tan said,


When Dogen rows the boat, the rowing makes the boat a boat and makes the hand, the sea, wooden oars and the movement of the boat into the "rowing". The designations turns "alive" yet r like mere reflections.


Why is it like water pouring in water? Because one tastes the hand, the sea, the wooden oars going beyond their designated boundaries into one seamless (like pour water in water) action of rowing. There is no self, only that action of rowing.


With anatta and dependent arising, u will feel immense inter-relatedness yet empty like reflections even in the world of conceptualities.


The father is dependent on the son and the son makes the father a father. Don't just look at the logic, see how much emotions and love are invested in them. There are no "things" and "world" other than that.


So it is not about just that which is direct, clean, brilliance, non-dual, non-conceptual and transparent which is empty like space; u must re-enter the world, dirty ur hands and see conventionalities with this new found insights of selflessness and DO...see the whole chain of arisings...so intricate yet empty like reflections.


André A. Pais: John Tan, good stuff! Is there more from where this came? 


John Tan: Hi André, some blah blah blah on the spur of the moment when Soh was discussing with me total exertion and emptiness. Intuitively I was sensing him skewing towards empty reflection in non-referential presence while attempting to integrate emptiness and total exertion at that time.


So just brought out this “dependent designation” as it can serve as a bridge to link the two (empty reflection and total exertion).


Sometimes we can latched on to the so called higher teachings of “already perfection”, “emptiness”, “no karma”, “no this and that” and subtly hypnotizing ourselves into a fabricated liberated state. This is precisely the question dogen had in mind, if we are already enlightened, why practice? If we have buddha-nature, why attain enlightenment? These questions set him on a journey to china in search of the answer. He came back with “practice-enlightenment”, we do not practice to get enlightened, we practice because we are enlightened – practice-enlightenment.


Therefore my intention is simply trying to bring out the point of not being afraid of self, not being afraid of cause and effect and dependencies, look directly into the world of samsara, look into the world of conventionalities and see the beauty of conceptualities. Even in market place, the taste of non-referential presence is never lost but fully present!


For articles about dogen and total exertion, I would recommend Ted Biringer. Ted has a unique way of triggering one into the taste of total exertion through seeing dependencies with his writings. As for write ups integrating emptiness, dependent designations and total exertion into a piece, I don’t think there is any…haha”


“.....


The weight of thoughts -- Part 1


When contemplating, do not just let our contemplation remain as a mental reasoning exercise.  For example: 


What appears is neither "internal" nor "external". For the notion of "internality" is dependent on the notion of "externality", without either, the sense of neither can arise.  Therefore both notions r merely conventional, they originates dependently.


Do not just let our contemplation remain at this level. If we do that, at most the freedom will simply remain at the mental level -- merely a pellucid, pure and clean state.  It is no different from practicing raw attention although insight on how conceptualities proliferate the mind may arise. 


But go further to relate directly to our sensations, thoughts, smells, colors, tastes, sounds and ask: 


"What do we mean by thoughts are neither inside nor outside our head?" 


Seeing through this will be much more penetrating.  It will bring a deep sense of illusoriness and mystical awe as a real-time lived-experience.


.....


The weight of thoughts -- Part 2


How heavy are thoughts?

Where are their roots? 


It is not uncommon to hear in the spiritual circle phrases like "the 'I' is just a thought" or "thought is empty and spacious, there is no weight or root to it". 


While the rootlessness and the space-like nature of "thoughts" should be pointed out, one must not be misled into thinking they have seen through "anything" much less up-rooted the deeply seated conceptual notions of "I/mine", "body/mind", "space/time"...etc. 


So emphasis must also be placed on the other side of the coin. "Thoughts" are astonishingly heavy like a black-hole (size of a pinhole, weight of a star); the roots of conceptual notions" they carry permeate our entire being and everywhere. 


The "roots" of thoughts are no where to be found also means they can be found anywhere and everywhere, spreaded across the 3 times and 10 directions -- in modern context, over different time-lines across the multiverse.  In other words, "this arises, that arises".


.....


In anatta, we see through self as a mental construct and one is set on a de-constructive journey to free oneself from all mental constructs, from self to all phenomena and the relationships among them.


However when we see dependent arising, nothing is eliminated.

Conceptualization remains, parts remain, cause-effect remains, self remains, others remains...Everything remains, only the mistaken view of "essence" is relinquished.


Instead of seeing them to exist essentially, it is now understood that they originates dependently and whatever originates in dependence is free from the four pairs of extremes (aka 8 negations of Nagarjuna).


Without understanding dependent arising and emptiness, spontaneous perfection free from all elaborations will be distorted.”


“Some stuff i wrote before:


Earlier today i was awoken by a sound.. then it was intuited the sound is not something somewhere, has no location, no origin, no coming and no going, mere dependent origination


When looking at seaside sea waves it occurs to me the sea waves was also a good example of dependent origination


Under imputation it appears sea waves are one thing that moves from one location to another (ultimately the sea shore). When seen carefully the sea wave is not actually one thing but actually countless of tiny waves and each moment of if the waving the patterns look entirely different. So one moment of wave and next moment of wave are neither the same not different but dependently originates. Every moment of waving is merely the dependent origination of all factors and consciousness dependently originating as the mere luminous appearance without anything there, no coming, no going, no arising, no abiding and no cessation


John tan replied, “Quite good.  Dependent arising is to help us overcome essense view.  We don't really understand what freedom from "essence", normally weq use essential view to understand what is non-essential.  When we keep practicing seeing emptiness and DO, everything turns insubstantial, essenceless without substance, intimate and seamless...from there on, u should quit "thinking" but learn to "feel" and sense directly and effortlessly. Taste radiance as appearances and no more "analyse" about it.


The language that structures  into subject-action-object is a clumsy and not a suitable way to express radiance, but that doesn't mean there is no way to express at all, it is just imo complex.  Like I told u before, mathematics is also a form of language that can allow us to understand patterns in a much deeper and flexible way.  But if one is untrained, it is difficult to communicate in that form of language or communicate like dogen.


Radiance is so mystical and magical, don't frame it with anything.  Once anatta matures, use ur entire body-mind to feel it's dynamism.”


—-


(Inherent view) Its the sense that phenomena exists, arise and abide and cease and stands alone by itself. Like for example moon exist inside water or even just that the presence is something “just there”.. instead of the vivid appearance is empty and non arisen, a mere vivid shimmering that dependently originates, appears but nothing there, a vivid and luminous mirage. Even a minutest sense of something there blocks the vision of dependent origination and emptiness, union of appearance and emptiness . We feel the trees and flowers and sky are “just there” instead of like reflections in total exertion


….


Actually nowadays in practice i dont really have much designations or referents.. its oceanic and boundless whether in sitting or movement. In a sense its similar to infinitude of universe like AF except there is no solidity.. its just dependent origination and emptiness in action like when you move the whole infinite net of indra reflects accordingly. The dependent origination its not like inherent cause and effect.. In moving its not like body interacting with environment but like infinite reflections in total exertion, like the whole universe is the movement not i moving. When sitting there is no me or body mind sitting like out of body into boundless and oceanic but there is no sense of a self expanding outward, just natural and spontaneous presence like whole universe is sitting. Gapless distanceless without boundaries and radiant but nothing there.. no seer, no seeing, nothing seen and also no universe to ground in.. i dunno if im skewing to radiance but i seldom engage in analysis nowadays. Or its good for me to do more analysis


——


John tan also wrote:


“Ic.  Next time just total exertion of whole immense arising and empty...see can 相应”


John tan wrote many comments but too long to post”